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BennyLava

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Hey, just wanting some help from the ladies. I want to know why do most women go for men who treat them badly ive had a few girlfriends and stuff, but im always interested as to why they go for men that treat them badly and are just complete and total W*****S. What do you suggest i should do as almost all girls i "like" always choose someone else over me and say i just see you as a friend. Any help much appreciated Thanks!
 

hypoc8

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When you find out how about letting me know. This along with "being to nice" is something I've never understood. I don't know if it's the "I'm the one who's going to change him" mentallity or what. It just seem that women are attracted the the "bad boy \ asshole" type.
 

dolfette

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i've never met a genuinely nice guy who claimed to be a nice guy.

the only guys i've met who claim to be nice guys are whining, wallowing sadsacks, who have the charm of used gum and are as fun as toothache.

those are the types who've suggested i need therapy because i'm not attracted to them.

i tend to avoid them like the plague and date the real deal.
the up beat, fun, happy, supportive men who see their own imperfections.
 

AlphaMale

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Women who do that are generally insecure. They don't make a conscious decision to find the shitty guys, but it happens anyway. Usually because they don't realize that they deserve (or can do) better.

Yeah I totally agree with you there.

Most of the bad guys these girls choose are only mean and shitty to them also... they would never pull that type of crap with a different girl or to another guy cause they would probably get their ass kicked. Those guys are usually total pansies outside of their own relationship. :tongue:

I feel sad for the girl's in those situations though cause it's obvious they are just their man's punching bag.
 

AlphaMale

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i've never met a genuinely nice guy who claimed to be a nice guy.

the only guys i've met who claim to be nice guys are whining, wallowing sadsacks, who have the charm of used gum and are as fun as toothache.

those are the types who've suggested i need therapy because i'm not attracted to them.

i tend to avoid them like the plague and date the real deal.
the up beat, fun, happy, supportive men who see their own imperfections.

You make it sound like nice = boring though... aren't those two completely different things?

I would say that I am a nice guy irl because I'm not going to make downing, mean comments to my girl or be critical. I'm going to have her feelings in mind just as much as my own. Other people tell me I'm nice also. None of them think I'm boring or weak though.

I'm also not a whiner, wallower, or sadsack. I am, however, up beat, fun, happy, supportive etc. like you mentioned :smile:
 

kazooplayer

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i've never met a genuinely nice guy who claimed to be a nice guy.

the only guys i've met who claim to be nice guys are whining, wallowing sadsacks, who have the charm of used gum and are as fun as toothache.

those are the types who've suggested i need therapy because i'm not attracted to them.

i tend to avoid them like the plague and date the real deal.
the up beat, fun, happy, supportive men who see their own imperfections.

This.

A guy who was truly "nice" would never complain about how girls won't fuck him no matter how nice he acts to them. A truly nice guy would treat a woman with respect and kindness, not on the premise of possible sex, but because that's his nature.

If you treat women nice because you've been lead to believe that that's what they want, I can understand how you get this convoluted idea that women want assholes. The truth is, though, that most women settle for assholes, cause at least they're up front about what they want. Which would you rather - a women who tells you what you want to hear and manipulates you for your money, or a woman who will tell you, "I'll fuck you for your money." Personally, I'd rather people's cards be on the table - subterfuge is rarely sexy.

There's a difference between a good guy and a nice guy, be a good guy.
 

dolfette

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You make it sound like nice = boring though... aren't those two completely different things?

I would say that I am a nice guy irl because I'm not going to make downing, mean comments to my girl or be critical. I'm going to have her feelings in mind just as much as my own. Other people tell me I'm nice also. None of them think I'm boring or weak though.

I'm also not a whiner, wallower, or sadsack. I am, however, up beat, fun, happy, supportive etc. like you mentioned :smile:
no :rolleyes:
i make it sound like the guys who say 'i'm a niiiice guy!!! why don't you loooove me? there's something wrong with yooou!' aren't nice.
just because a guy thinks & says he's nice, doesn't mean he is.

a nice guy wouldn't be posting that MOST women in the world are self destructive idiots.
This.

A guy who was truly "nice" would never complain about how girls won't fuck him no matter how nice he acts to them. A truly nice guy would treat a woman with respect and kindness, not on the premise of possible sex, but because that's his nature.

If you treat women nice because you've been lead to believe that that's what they want, I can understand how you get this convoluted idea that women want assholes. The truth is, though, that most women settle for assholes, cause at least they're up front about what they want. Which would you rather - a women who tells you what you want to hear and manipulates you for your money, or a woman who will tell you, "I'll fuck you for your money." Personally, I'd rather people's cards be on the table - subterfuge is rarely sexy.

There's a difference between a good guy and a nice guy, be a good guy.
you get it.

by your definition, i only do good guys.
 

AlphaMale

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This.

A guy who was truly "nice" would never complain about how girls won't fuck him no matter how nice he acts to them. A truly nice guy would treat a woman with respect and kindness, not on the premise of possible sex, but because that's his nature.

If you treat women nice because you've been lead to believe that that's what they want, I can understand how you get this convoluted idea that women want assholes. The truth is, though, that most women settle for assholes, cause at least they're up front about what they want. Which would you rather - a women who tells you what you want to hear and manipulates you for your money, or a woman who will tell you, "I'll fuck you for your money." Personally, I'd rather people's cards be on the table - subterfuge is rarely sexy.

There's a difference between a good guy and a nice guy, be a good guy.

I agree with your first paragraph and that's how I am also, however, the two type of women you mention in the second para are BOTH bad and us guys need to be on the lookout for 'those' type of girls. :tongue:

I think most girls that end of with asshole guys are assholes themselves. Birds of a feather flock together.
 

AlphaMale

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no :rolleyes:
i make it sound like the guys who say 'i'm a niiiice guy!!! why don't you loooove me? there's something wrong with yooou!' aren't nice.
just because a guy thinks & says he's nice, doesn't mean he is.

I see what you mean, but genuine good guys can also be genuine nice guys and vice versa.

I think you've just run into some bad guys who were trying to pull the "let me tell her how nice I am" routine to try and get somewhere, when really they were just scumbags acting. :smile:
 

dolfette

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I see what you mean, but genuine good guys can also be genuine nice guys and vice versa.

I think you've just run into some bad guys who were trying to pull the "let me tell her how nice I am" routine to try and get somewhere, when really they were just scumbags acting. :smile:
nope, i've run into the whiny, try hard, self proclaimed nice guys.
they're even worse than bad boys.
at least the bad boys don't bitch about your lack of interest and accuse you of being self destructive for not wanting them.
i've no interest in either.

give me a good guy. a genuine nice guy. the guy who isn't boohooing 'why are women so stupid?????'
 
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deleted356736

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Nice guys finish last is an old American saying, and which woman wants that? If she has his children, does she want a second generation of male offspring nice-guys who finish last? The bad guys have a hard-edged masculine attraction, and give a good chance of producing male offspring with a similar attraction.

I'm not a bad guy, but I'm a way from being a nice guy. I have a bit of a hard edge to my character, and I have a competitive drive to succeed in whatever it is I do. My wife later admitted she was attracted to me relative to the nice guys she had previously dated. And then, of course, she tried to change me, which is another story.
 

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nope, i've run into the whiny, try hard, self proclaimed nice guys.
they're even worse than bad boys.
at least the bad boys don't bitch about your lack of interest and accuse you of being self destructive for not wanting them.
i've no interest in either.

give me a good guy. a genuine nice guy. the guy who isn't boohooing 'why are women so stupid?????'

* Caveat: I'm not finger pointing at anyone especially not Dolfette, because I don't know her like that... this is just my personal experience. *

Self proclaimed 'anything' is usually phoney though, right?

I guess I don't understand because I'm a nice and good guy... but not at all in the negative ways in which you describe them. And that's not self-proclaimed, you can ask any girl or guy who knows me and they will tell you the same. I mean they know not to fuck with me... I'm not a pushover/doormat/lapdog either. :wink:

I've never run into another person who was going around self-proclaiming to be nice, but who deep down really was not... and they were just trying to get people to do something for them because they were simply 'saying their were nice', but deep down were not. If they weren't a genuinely nice/good person, it was obvious in the first few seconds of meeting them or their reputation already preceded them.

People that really know a person will know if they are nice/good or not. People that really know a person will know if they are mean/bad or not. Seems pretty cut and dry to me.

I have, however, run into FEMALES who self proclaim to be nice/good and by everyone of their actions it's obvious that they are not. They go around telling everyone how nice they are, but they are the first to say mean/hateful things to people's faces or turn around and talk behind their back or be non appreciative of the nice things people do for them (not just me, ALL the nice things people do for them).

They are also the first to think it's wierd when a guy wants to open a car/restaurant door for them, wants to pay for their outings together, wants to give them a hug when they are departing, doesn't mind listening when they are upset about something, etc. What's the girls reasoning for this being wierd? "Oh, I don't like that guy because he is TOO nice!" LOL gimme a break, seriously. I'm too nice, and you're too much of a bitch! Maybe that's a better way to think of it lol. :rolleyes:

A person like me does those things for anyone that I consider a friend (male or female)... not just a potential gf or for potential sex. THAT is being genuinely nice, and I don't have to go around claiming that I'm a nice or good person to everyone - everyone already knows it without me saying anything.

I'd just hope that most women don't take the stance like the above mentioned women I've run into.
 
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Wish-4-8

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There is an appeal for the "bad boy". He is seen as more edgy, adventurous, fun, sexy, take charge type of situation. Unfortunalty, you get get everything that goes with it.
The disrespect, the tempers, the non compermising attitude.

But, some women find an appeal to that. It appeals to their nuturing nature. They like to try to change a man to make him a better person. The irony is that when they do, they are no longer into him. The challenge is over.

Ever see that Sex in the City episode where the Sarah Jessica Parker character was thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend because he was too perfect? There was nothing to fix or complain about. And that bothered her to no end.

Bad boys are full of issues. And there is no greater compliement to some women then to be the one who "fixed" the man.