help!

[MokeMan]

Im 24 years old, I haven't had successful penetration yet, so basically Im a virgin. Im in a 5 months relationship. I tried having sex with my girlfriend but, although Im horny as a hog before sex, when Im about to penetrate my mind goes off and penis shrinks gradually. Im aware this is mainly head problem. i was wondering if viagra or cialis would help to override that neurosis and maintain erection?

p.s. I cannot describe how this problem affects my joy of life. I feel deprived to the maximum.

 

[seekingpeace]

I know it sounds like a total jedi thing, but it's very real and very useful: Learn to control your thoughts.

Think about something that wildly turns you on when you're about to hit that point.

If that option doesn't work for you, you can always read "The Little Engine That Could"

Funny as it is, I am not mocking you. It's a valid strategy for overcoming performance anxiety.

 

[sykray]

Also, I suspect that you have got into a vicious circle - your anxiety that it might happen again makes it happen again.

Relax. You could try asking her to kneel astride your hips and take responsibility for the penetration.

Viagra, Cialis, Levitra would only help if you believed that taking the pill would magically sort it out. Such drugs would only be a psychological crutch for your confidence in overcoming performance anxiety. The actual drug effects would do very little.

 

[MokeMan]

it starts shrinking the moment i lose control over my thoughts and think about will it shrink. shrinking is a slow process, so if I use that pills Im pritty sure it wouldnt let it go down. Am I right? also, so I heard, viagra makes erections stronger but last shorter, am I right? has anybody ever heard of kamagra jelly? I have that.
@seekingpeace I know its about thoughts, I always knew, it's just that it was stronger then me...

 

[MokeMan]

OK, can anybody who had similar experience with performance anxiety answer me can I overcome it by using Viagra or Cialis?

 

[seekingpeace]

I have had experience with them. They don't do what you're hoping they will do.
You just have to be bigger than your thoughts.

 

[MokeMan]

there one thing i havent mentioned. I have slight bisexual tendency. could it be that I somehow subconsciously don't like women? if that is so, how can i be so horny non stop around her? has any of you gay people ever had erection in presence of a girl?

 

[monel]

there one thing i havent mentioned. I have slight bisexual tendency. could it be that I somehow subconsciously don't like women? if that is so, how can i be so horny non stop around her? has any of you gay people ever had erection in presence of a girl?

You are over thinking it and thus, your anxiety. You do need to relax but, to answer the original question, Viagra or Cialis can help temporarily. Once you have performed successfully, you'll likely be more relaxed the next time.

 

[foomaaa]

Kegels!!!! Do enough of those and you won't be able to keep your erections down!

I did them a bit when I was young, but stopped for some reason. I started up again in the last month, and it makes a big difference. I walk to and from work about 20 minutes each way, so I end up doing them on while walking (no really easy to do... I still don't think I've quite mastered it yet).

Hold them for 5 seconds at a time, and really squeeze hard. Try them for 20 minutes a day, really focusing on them, and you shouldn't have any problems in a week. You should try to work your way up to 10 second holds, but do it gradually. There's a ton of info available, google it.

 

[Nectarseeker69]

I'm bi, and nooo, .. (But, these are my personal thoughts) thinking of sex with men while having sex with a women will not turn you off. In my mind there is no on/off switch regarding men/women. If anything, fantasies/thoughts of having sex with a man should excite you.
Frankly, I think you need to see a really good shrink. Never be afraid to see one. I saw one 35 years ago and he did Miracles. I'd be homeless or dead if it wasn't for his care. No Crap!
Hope this helps….

Jim

 

[767932]

Kegels!!!! Do enough of those and you won't be able to keep your erections down!

I did them a bit when I was young, but stopped for some reason. I started up again in the last month, and it makes a big difference. I walk to and from work about 20 minutes each way, so I end up doing them on while walking (no really easy to do... I still don't think I've quite mastered it yet).

Hold them for 5 seconds at a time, and really squeeze hard. Try them for 20 minutes a day, really focusing on them, and you shouldn't have any problems in a week. You should try to work your way up to 10 second holds, but do it gradually. There's a ton of info available, google it.

keep trying, you'll make it.

 

[rtg]

I know how you feel...I get performance anxiety too Yes, it does happen to women too! haha.

 

[MokeMan]

@rtg yes, but u can lube it, i cannot pump it

 

[rtg]

@rtg yes, but u can lube it, i cannot pump it

what do you mean? Do you just go soft? I thought you meant that you just couldn't ejaculate?

I know for me, I think about it too much..and then I feel like there's pressure on me to cum...especially since I have such a problem with it.

What have you tried to try and rectify this? Are you shy around her in the bedroom still?

 

[tbrguy]

What about a glass or two of wine, or a spliff?

Works for me...

 

[MokeMan]

@rtg no, when Im about to penetrate my penis shrinks, goes limp, cause I think of it. Im not shy around her at all. Last time I was full hard on, then she sat on me. She started insert it but she wasnt wet enough. Then she asked me to make her horny with my fingers and in that moment i started feel like something is wrong and i lost my erection. I couldnt revive it to lasts more then a minute or two... Therefore i made this thread, to ask whether viagra or cialis would help me maintain erection...

@tbrguy thats what psychologist told me. but can i mix it with viagra/cialis?

 

[rtg]

Ah okay, sorry...I misunderstood. Well it appears that I cannot offer any advice afterall haha. But I hope that you get the advice you are after, I don't think it could hurt to try those drugs and see if they work? But then again, I'm probably not someone you should be taking advice from for such issues haha.

 

[MokeMan]

sometimes i think i just need to watch at a pair of big tits to rectify this problem... force they emit is too strong for me to go limp.

 

[rtg]

lol doesn't your gf have big tits?

 

[MokeMan]

nope. they are small, but i like them a lot anyway. u see, im horny as a hog non stop around her, sometimes my penis hurts of hardness... i just go limp when im about to penetrate her in vagina. im hard when she's giving me blowjobs... and she doesnt give me anal, im sure id be hard as f**k doing that too...