Ever heard of that old adage, It will stretch a mile before it will tear an inch? Or putting it another way, if a baby can come out, your cock should be able to go in. Now thats looking at the situation from a practical, or logical stand point; giving birth is not a pleasant experience, well for most anyway and were talking a different scenario too. You need to be gentle, patient and considerate; she needs to be relaxed in body and mind and receptive. You both need to work at this, even if it means outside help, like counselling, yoga classes, or hypnoses. If every solution does fail, then you have to review the relationship; how important is penetrative sex, can you survive without it, or do you need to change your girlfriend?
Spoken like someone who doesnt have a vagina!
My husband is 7 inches in girth and i tore many many times, more often than not. Even my gynecologist commented on how small i was to do exams. I could not have a child vaginally and i tried for days. Let me say that the old adage about vaginas stretching for babies is shit for some of us. If you arent an Obstetrician or a person with a vagina, its like me talking about your prostate first hand.
Now, for some real advice from a woman, some women are built smaller than others. Why in the world do so many women need episiotomies if the vagina isnt prone to damaging during birth? Its a hell of a lot easier to take a shit than shove something up your ass, no matter how much youre being kissed if you ass isnt ready. some things take practice, not just extended foreplay.
The more it hurts her, the more she will tighten up and not respond, her brain will keep her from opening up and getting wet. I know how many times i've torn and had to stop and just wack him off because i couldnt go any further and this is years into a marriage.
Sorry to be a bitch about this, but this can be more than a lube and foreplay problem. This requires some real stretchiing techniques and callousing up the area of the vaginal opening that becomes more likely to tear when it builds up a knot of scar tissue, since scar tissue isnt stretchy.
Mega stretching techniques, such as techniques discussed in the vaginal fisting book Hand In The Bush are worth noting. Now, i've never been able to fit more than 75% of the length of four of my husbands fingers after a ton of practice with this. The goal is not to fit your fist in her, its to get her to stretch larger than the 7 inch circumference of your penis so when you have sex after the stretching goal, she does accomodate.
Now, after 9 years of marriage I've figured out that all the manual stretching in the world does you no good if you arent going to have sex regularly so she doesnt tighten up again. Women like me stay tight and get even tighter during and after orgasm. Not only are we built small, have tight hymens, but our PC muscles are very strong and stay toned. We have sex every day, sometimes twice and every now and again skip a day or two. If we go much longer than that, we are back to square one.
The trick is to work through the pain, even if you are swollen, torn and raw the next day and do this for about 5 or 6 days until her vagina doesnt react by swelling and hurting for hours. Something that helps with the entry is using Vagisil cream (it has lidocaine in it to numb you when you have a yeast infection) and it numbs you where you cant feel it if you do tear. It helps you last longer too and she can apply it after sex for the throbbing pain afterwards.
And another trick, clit stimulating while you enter her, it distracts her brain from the pain and helps her open up. This will be easier if she does this instead of you.
I hope this helps!
And one more thing, any guy who would drop his girlfriend because her vagina is small is just as shallow as a woman dumping you if your penis was a little smaller than average. You guys shouldnt even be dating women if this is your standard for keeping them. (thanks to Jason_els for talking me through my anger issues i deleted the other parts of my rant!)
Red
ive had problems b4 but most times lube did the trick but now not even that works i just hit a dead end and it hurts alot if we try any further it just wont go! she is well worked up by the time we try and we have used a number of different lubes but to no effect - any other suggestions?
