Helping you Cum

Discussion in 'Show Off' started by jma1010, May 3, 2005.

  1. jma1010

    jma1010 New Member

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    Be Honest!
     
  2. jma1010

    jma1010 New Member

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    Of course, I admit I have masturbated the following people before. I was just curious how many others have done the same. I have jerk off my step-dad, uncle,nehew,girlfriend, best male friend, best female friend, male co-worker and female co-worker and a stranger womand and man. Oh, and my male roommate too!
     
  3. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Your second post makes me feel filthy just being here.

    *runs for the shower*
     
  4. jma1010

    jma1010 New Member

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    "Run Forest Run" Sorry you feel like that. We have all join up on this site for different reasons. Maybe some guys like seeing others guys dick, or some guys are gay and trying to hook up or maybe some guys are just wanting to know that there are same like minded people as they are. For whatever reasons, I don't mean to offend anyone be them str8, bi or gay.

    I am sure WE all have dirty little secrets hidden in our closets.

    JMA
     
  5. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Pollo Con Quimbobó y Platanos
    (Chicken with Okra and Plantains )

    1 cup of chopped okra, fresh or defrosted
    1 whole chicken cut into 8 pieces (about 3 pounds)
    2 tbsp of adobe seasoning or a mixture of the following:
    salt or MSG, black pepper, paprika, cumin, coriander
    vegetable oil
    1 large onion chopped
    4 cloves of garlic minced
    1 green bell pepper, chopped
    1 ½ cups of water
    2 medium ripe plantains
    2 medium tomatoes coarsely chopped
    2 tbsp of lime juice
    Season chicken with adobe or the alternative. In a heavy cast iron skillet brown the chicken pieces in hot oil on all sides. Remove the chicken to a plate. In the remaining oil, stir fry the onion, garlic and bell pepper for about 2 or 3 minutes.
    Cut the okra in 1 inch size pieces. Cut away the tips and caps if desired. Peel the plantain and cut into 1 inch pieces.

    Place the chicken in a deep stewing pot. Add the water and all the other ingredients. Cover and simmer until the chicken is very tender, about 15 minutes.

    Serve over cooked yellow rice.
     
  6. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Maybe once or twice w/a male friend but prefer to be by myself...
     
  7. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    *stands at front of classroom, clasps hands behind back and doodles with right toe in dust on floor*

    Ahem. The Aardvark.
    A Report by Pecker.

    The name aardvark comes from a word meaning "earth pig." Although the aardvark, endemic to Africa, shares some similarities with the South American anteater, the two are not related. The last survivor of a group of primitive ungulates, the aardvark could more accurately be called a near-ungulate that has developed powerful claws.

    The aardvark has a short neck connected to a massive, dull brownish-gray, almost hairless body that has a strongly arched back. The legs are short, the hind legs longer than the front ones. The head is elongated and ends in a long, narrow snout, with nostrils that can be closed. The long, tubular ears are normally held upright but can be folded and closed. The short but muscular tail is cone-shaped and tapers to a point. The thick claws on the forefeet are used as digging tools.

    Aardvarks are found in all regions, from dry savanna to rain forest, where there are sufficient termites for food, access to water and sandy or clay soil. If the soil is too hard, aardvarks, despite being speedy, powerful diggers, will move to areas where the digging is easier.

    Aardvarks are nocturnal, usually waiting until dark before they emerge from their burrows, although after a cold night, they may occasionally sun themselves. They leave a distinctive track from dragging their tails during which their travels average one to three miles but can range up to 18 miles a night. Aardvarks are seldom seen, but their presence in an area serves many other animals. Bats, ground squirrels, hares, cats, civets, hyenas, jackals, porcupines, warthogs, monitor lizards, owls and other birds use abandoned aardvark holes as shelter. The burrows vary from simple chambers with one entrance, to a complicated maze of galleries with 20 or more entrances. Aardvarks keep their burrows clean they deposit their dung in a hole away from the entrance, carefully covering it with earth.

    As it is nocturnal and has poor eyesight, the aardvark is cautious upon leaving its burrow. It comes to the entrance and stands there motionless for several minutes. Then it suddenly leaps out in powerful jumps. At about 30 feet out it stops, raises up on its legs, perks up its ears and turns its head in all directions. If there are no sounds, it makes a few more leaps and finally moves at a slow trot to look for food.

    Aardvarks specialized in eating termites as long as 35 million years ago. At night they go from one termite mound to another, dismantling the hills with their powerful claws. Insects are trapped by the aardvark's long protractile tongue, which is covered with a thick, sticky saliva. Sometimes the aardvark will press its snout against an opening in a mound and suck up the termites. Aardvarks, with their keen sense of smell, also hunt for the long columns of termites that move outside the mounds at night.

    Aardvarks give birth to one offspring at a time. The pinkish, hairless newborn stays inside the burrow for about 2 weeks and then begins to follow its mother in her search for food. The young first eats solid food at 3 months of age and is suckled until 4 months.

    At about 6 months the young male becomes independent and goes off on its own, while the young female stays with the mother until after the next baby is born. The young female may then dig its own burrow a few yards away from its mother but still joins her to forage for termites.

    The adult aardvark's principal enemies are human (who sometimes kill it for meat), lions, hyenas and leopards; pythons also take the young. When in danger the aardvark takes to the nearest hole, or rapidly excavates one, pushing the dirt backwards with its feet and moving the dirt away with its tail. But if cornered, it defends itself by sitting up, using its tail, shoulders and foreclaws- or it will lie on its back and strike with all four feet. [African Wildlife Federation website]

    *bows timidly and takes seat*
     
  8. inwait8

    inwait8 Active Member

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    hmm... I like Okra :9
    I don't know about that Ardvark recipe its awfully lenghtly. :p
     
  9. surferboy

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    Rolled Up by the Long Beach Dub All Stars


    Uh
    Rolled up
    Rolled up again
    Rolled up
    Right in front of my friends
    I was rockin' like a star
    Closed down all the bars
    and now I'm sitting in this smoky cell
    Sad but true
    cuz I need you
    Come get me out of jail
    Please Please
    You're my only friend
    that I know
    who's got something to live
    post my bail
    Cheese sandwich, Orange Juice
    I've even had to fight to keep my shoes
    I don't got no phone or credit cards to use
    And it's late at night and this calling card's gonna have to do
    Sad but true
    cuz I need you
    Come get me out of jail
    Please Please
    You're my only friend
    that I know
    who's got something to live
    post my bail
    Have you ever had a brother man but not of control
    and if pull it, that's the place, that's the world
    Ever had a brother man but not of control
    One take the lord, send your deepest regards
    Get gaserated and the cell smells like beer
    Try to wake someone up and get the hell out of here
    Last thing I remember, I heard the last call
    My pocket's controlled by alcohol
    (Aww man I better get out of here)
    And Lita is my angel
    I've been floating on the sea
    Been once been once that boat bad
    She's gonna need no id
    Cheri's down, bail you out
    You better not mess 'em around
    nooo no
    Well I got caught with 10 pounds
    Sad but true
    cuz I need you
    Come get me out of jail
    Please Please
    You're my only friend
    that I know
    who's got something to live
    post my bail
    Rolled up
     
  10. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Plus, you have to be really good friends with the butcher to get really fresh aardvark.
     
  11. hung9mike

    hung9mike Well-Known Member

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    DMW, that sounds great. How about inviting us over for dinner?
     
  12. KinkGuy

    Gold Member

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    Rocky Mountain Oysters

    2 pounds calf testicles*
    2 cups beer
    2 eggs, beaten
    1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
    ¼ cup yellow cornmea1
    Salt and ground black pepper to taste
    Vegetable oil**
    1 tablespoon hot pepper sauce

    * Be sure to ask your butcher for calf testicles, not bull testicles. Calf testicles are the size of a walnut and are much more tender than the larger bull testicles.

    ** Use enough vegetable oil to fill your frying container halfway to the top (to allow for bubbling up and splattering) and to completely cover calf testicles while frying.

    With a very sharp knife, split the tough skin-like muscle that surrounds each testicle. Remove the skin (you can remove the skin easily if the testicles are frozen, then peel while thawing). Slice each testicle into approximately ¼- to ½- inch-thick ovals. Place slices in a large pan or blow with enough beer to cover them; cover and let sit 2 hours.

    In a shallow bowl, combine eggs, flour, cornmeal, salt, and pepper. Remove testicles from beer; drain and dredge thoroughly in the flour mixture. In a large, deep pot, heat oil to 375 degrees F. Deep fry 3 minutes or until golden brown (will rise to the surface when done). Drain on paper towels.

    Serve warm with your favorite hot pepper sauce.
     
  13. jonb

    Gold Member

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    Scrabble tips:

    1) Learn anagrams and "bingo stems". Bingo stems are groups of seven letters, ideally with no doubles, J's, X's, Q's, or Z's, which can produce a lot of eight-letter words if you add one more letter.
    2) Got a Q and no U? Learn MBAQANGA, QABALAH, QADI, QAIMAQAM, QALAMDAN, QIBLA, QAT, QAID, QOPH, FAQIR, QANAT, TRANQ, QINDAR, QINTAR, QWERTY, SHEQEL, QINDARKA, QWERTY, QOPH, QI, QIGONG, QASIDA, TALAQ,, TZADDIQ, WAQF, and YAQOMA. Also note that for the words TSADDIQ and SHEQEL, the plurals are TSADDIQIM and SHEQALIM.
    3) Rack balance is key: DARK scores more points than RADII, but having two I's is nasty, so pick RADII. The same applies to GIRL, WORLD, and other words with at least two more consonants than vowels; trust me, you don't want to end up with. At the same time, you don't want too many consonants; if you can play RHYTHM, do so immediately.
    4) You don't get extra points for A word like CWM, CRWTH, or TWP might seem cool, just to show you can make words without any A, E, I, O, U, or Y, but it really leaves you with a lot of extra vowels.
    5) You most likely won't get CAZIQUE, BEZIQUE, POPQUIZ, SQUEEZE, QUARTZ, or QUIXOTIC, so don't plan for them, but use them if you get them.
    6) ETAERIO is the most likely seven-letter word to appear on your rack.
    7) Two-letter words make for good parallel plays, or for simple "chump plays". FWIW, the following are legit two-letter words: AA, AB, AD, AE, AG, AH, AI, AL, AM, AN, AR, AS, AT, AW, AX, AY, BA, BE, BI, BO, BY, DE, DO, ED, EF, EH, EL, EM, EN, ER, ES, ET, EX, FA, GO, HA, HE, HI, HM, HO, ID, IF, IN, IS, IT, JO, KA, KY, LA, LI, LO, MA, ME, MM, MO, MY, NA, NE, NO, NU, OD, OE, OF, OH, OM, ON, OP, OS, OW, OX, OY, PA, PE, PI, QI, RE, SH, SI, SO, TA, TI, TO, UH, UM, US, UT, WE, WO, XI, XU, YA, YE, YO, and ZO.
    8) Don't try for doubles. I don't even try to get KATAKANA, despite being a bingo with two K's and four A's.
    9) One-letter extensions make for two words in one turn. SEXUAL, for example, can become ASEXUAL when I play any word with A in it.
    10) Multiple-letter extensions make for easy 9+-letter words. RATE becomes INCARCERATE, to borrow one from Daria.
     
  14. SomeGuyOverThere

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    LMAO this is hilarious!
     
  15. db03

    db03 Member

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    Doesnt "Platanos" mean bannanas??
     
  16. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Plantains are a type of banana, but it's not the sweet variety of banana commonly found in the supermarkets. It's a coarse banana often eaten as a vegetable in the Carribean.

    @ hung9mike: yep, I can cook some groceries!
     
  17. surferboy

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    No, they're a different fruit. Vlosely related though. Fried plantains are SO good.


    EDIT: I can't believe i put "friend plantains". Yah, I'm fantasizing about Jacinto's plantain :D
     
  18. Steve26

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    Especially in this particular thread, "friend plantains" has gotta be some kind of major Freudian slip. :D


     
  19. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Botanically speaking, sweet bananas are Musa sapientum; plantains are Musa paradisiaca. Same genus, but different species.
     
  20. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    As long as you don't try frying my plantain, you may do with it what you will! ;)
     
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