Her boyfriend is messing her about...

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by NaughtyGirl, May 22, 2005.

  1. NaughtyGirl

    NaughtyGirl New Member

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    Hiya. I just wondered if some of you girls could give me a little bit of advice, I dont know what to do.

    My friend has been going out with her guy for nearly two years and he is still telling people that he is single, chatting to loads of women, doing god knows what else with them and my friend doesnt know. I dont know what I should do, should I talk to him about it and ask him to stop or just go straight to her? I dont want to hurt her but she is my friend and she deserves to know that this guy is messing her about. I feel so bad for her and I know I need to talk to her but do I talk to him first and tell him that I dont like what he is doing or do I just go straight to her? Any replies would be great, thanks xxxxx
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    He's a flirt. She probably knows it.

    Absent catching him in the wrong bed, on video, you're best bet is to keep quiet or you may end up being "that bitch who tried to break us up."
     
  3. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    If it was me, I'd want to know. It may be better than the "You've known all along and never told me" conversation that you will undoubtedly have later.

    On a side note: How do you know that he's still messing around? Is there any way that you could set her up to witness it?
     
  4. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    Yeah I was also wondering how you found out and she's clueless.

    It would be the good and perhaps right thing to tell her. But would she believe you? And maybe she already knows and is stayin with him regardless (he might be handy around the house :p)

    Keep quiet and best bet would be to set him up. Although if you know she will believe you and not be against you, tell her.
     
  5. ItsJustMe

    ItsJustMe New Member

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    I'd want to know and I'd rather hear it from a friend than finding out the more painful way.
     
  6. BobLeeSwagger

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    I would tell him what you know first. And that you won't tell her for a while, but if she asks, you won't lie to her and voice your suspicions. Strongly encourage him to either break up with her or come clean.

    I think that, the vast majority of the time, the person has suspected the cheater but either doesn't want to think about it or puts up with it. I don't think most people are completely clueless that it's going on.
     
  7. Imported

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    orionsword57: It matters somewhat how close you are to your friend, or to the man, for that matter, and you run the risk of being seen to have "chosen sides" if you are wrong to any extent or if things get ugly. AFTER CONFIRMATION, I would lean to telling the injured party, and not the perpetrator. Sticky wicket, nonetheless.
     
  8. Kimahri

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    Well, I have a bleak outlook on relationships anyway, so I'd go on and tell her. No reason to let the illusion continue longer than it needs to.
     
  9. Imported

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    Goon: I was in this situation once and I did the noble thing. Whatever you do, DON'T tell her. Everyone involved will probably end up hating you.
     
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