Her fantasies

Endlesssummer4me

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Married 10 years to a wonderful woman. Beautiful inside and out. I've asked to hear her fantasy's during foreplay ( as I have exhausted sharing mine with her over the years) and she never fully answers. She said she thinks of things we have done over time. I appreciate this response but gotta believe she has some "go-to" ones she just won't share. I've never pushed the issue....but I often wonder why she won't fully divulge.

Any thoughts / comment would be most appreciated. :)
 

Betty_Cocker

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I have two thoughts.
1. It is really possible that she doesn't create fantasies. Perhaps she is emotionally tied to the sex act that you two perform and by generating a fantasy, it might interrupt that emotional connection. She may be telling you things to satisfy you because she knows you enjoy hearing "stories". (I've been guilty of that myself.)

2. It's possible that she may feel like if she does have fantasies that by sharing them with you, it might make you feel somehow less adequate. That you cannot satisfy her ... so she has to have a "go to" place to finish the job.

Both scenarios are good possibilities.. Both are lose/lose if the fantasies are shared. In one case they are made up for your pleasure only. The other case, if she shares them, there is a fear of making you feel less adequate (and in reality you ARE NOT).

The fantasies are all a mind game. Sometimes it's a good thing to play, others not. But if she isn't sharing with you, I'd like to think that she's very very happy with what's going on as it is.

I can relate to both scenarios.
 

Mercurygirl

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I don't know what's going through her head obviously but it's been my experience that sometimes fantasies need to stay just that. Her coming out and saying something like, "I was reading this erotic novel last night and there was this chapter about a servant woman being taken by three hung black men aboard this pirate ship that had me thinking I'd like to try that." may not be the smartest thing to admit to. If she's like me that just not something you want to share with your guy. The male (sexual) ego is easily bruised (certainly that what I've discovered). Add, I'm the type of girl who would never want my man to feel less about what he does to me sexually. I want him to feel he's #1 in my eyes. All a woman is doing who plays that sort of cruel game is hurting their guy's confidence and the relationship. I know I've said this before but you gotta make him feel like a king if you want to be treated like a queen.

Truth is sometimes exposing a fantasy like I've described isn't what a man wants to hear coming from his significant other. I know from being a member of this site that some men actually find that sort of thing a turn on but I've never met a man in my personal life who wanted to hear that sort of thing. If I do divulge a fantasy it always involves my boyfriend. If I have a fantasy that doesn't include him I keep it to myself as I don't want to hurt him. We've got a good thing going why blow it on some silly thought that's never going to happen anyway? He's king, the boss, the best, end of. The more I feed him those positive replies to my sexual fantasies the better our relationship, our sex, is. That's what I've learned.
 

Jillang

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I don't know what's going through her head obviously but it's been my experience that sometimes fantasies need to stay just that. Her coming out and saying something like, "I was reading this erotic novel last night and there was this chapter about a servant woman being taken by three hung black men aboard this pirate ship that had me thinking I'd like to try that." may not be the smartest thing to admit to. If she's like me that just not something you want to share with your guy. The male (sexual) ego is easily bruised (certainly that what I've discovered). Add, I'm the type of girl who would never want my man to feel less about what he does to me sexually. I want him to feel he's #1 in my eyes. All a woman is doing who plays that sort of cruel game is hurting their guy's confidence and the relationship. I know I've said this before but you gotta make him feel like a king if you want to be treated like a queen.

Truth is sometimes exposing a fantasy like I've described isn't what a man wants to hear coming from his significant other. I know from being a member of this site that some men actually find that sort of thing a turn on but I've never met a man in my personal life who wanted to hear that sort of thing. If I do divulge a fantasy it always involves my boyfriend. If I have a fantasy that doesn't include him I keep it to myself as I don't want to hurt him. We've got a good thing going why blow it on some silly thought that's never going to happen anyway? He's king, the boss, the best, end of. The more I feed him those positive replies to my sexual fantasies the better our relationship, our sex, is. That's what I've learned.

I totally agree with this. Plus once I start to fantasize my mind can wonder to places or things that normally aren't turn ons. I'm not sure that even makes sense but it just does.
 

Reddhott

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For a lot of women, sex is tied up with emotions and relationships. Her fantasies may indeed all be of you, and that hot make out session you had at the movie theatre. Or the time you danced with her in the living room when she was trying to dust.