@viking:
Anytime we bring up all the shortcomings we see in ourselves, and almost all of us see lots of them when we look inside, we reinforce a particular and very unhealthy pattern.
And that's what you're doing, viking.
Before you do anything else, you have to break that pattern.
Presumably you think someone is going to hear your pain and come up with something that will prove helpful.
But in the very act of expressing the pain, you are reinforcing it. So any help that might be offered, you have already, in effect, neutralized.
I don't mean that speaking of one's troubles never brings helpful advice. It does (but surprisingly seldom, in my observations).
And I don't mean that you should bottle yourself up and never express what gives you pain. But there's a time and place and a manner in which to do so.
But if you go despondently over your notions of how you are inadequate all the time, you are going to constantly expose yourself -- no less than those who are hearing you -- to this vision of viking as inadequate, unattractive, and destitute of hope. It does no good.
I've been there, done that, viking.
And I know how hard these patterns are to break.
But they have to be broken, and only one guy can do it.
And I'm speaking to him.
You didn't ask for my advice, and I hope you don't find it rude.