He's perfect. Except he's not hung...

[lookingforamonster]

Thanks Either way I would like to be his friend... But I love kissing him, and holding him and just being with him in general! Maybe we could find other things that turn us on? I already like him more than he likes me... I can tell... But I know that hes very turned on by me. So maybe we could work it out some how?

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Thanks Either way I would like to be his friend... But I love kissing him, and holding him and just being with him in general! Maybe we could find other things that turn us on? I already like him more than he likes me... I can tell... But I know that hes very turned on by me. So maybe we could work it out some how?

You start to convince me ...
Maybe you can work it out.
Good luck.

 

[Chase1600]

Don’t take it too personally, Looking. I think our fellow members are uncharacteristically mistaken on this one.

I don’t buy that you are being shallow on this one. I don’t respond sexually to people because they are quite perfect and wonderful. I respond because “I respond” don’t ask me to explain. I get it that you like ‘em big but I think there’s more. One of these days you just might fall for a guy who isn’t and you won’t be confused about it.

I’ve had that experience. I like “x” type and then out of nowhere, a “y” comes along and I’m crazy hooked.

You are not crazy hooked on this guy and you really need not worry about being shallow, you need to show some balls and be confident in yourself and sticking up for your emotions. I believe you when you say he’s perfect. I believe you when you say he’s got a weenie weenie and hear you saying it’s a deal breaker. Well, something’s a deal breaker and you don’t like the boy’s dick, but I bet if he really were the right guy for you – not a picture perfect image of what is supposed to be right – you’d be sucking that dick like mad.

When we feel the way about someone we should be with, their dick is always the right kind of dick because if the chemistry is right, the way they sound when they talk, or snort for that matter, and the way they smell, and they way they move, and so forth, they way they are just gets to us and we want to be all over their body and definitely their cock becomes exactly the right kind of cock.

This is not shallow. Disdaining your buddies spouse because she comes from the wrong side of town is shallow; not associating with people because you are afraid your other friends will disapprove of their clothing or speech is shallow. Not wanting to suck a guy’s dick when you don’t want to suck it is never shallow.

No body should ever be embarrassed in to thinking he should suck somebody’s dick because that somebody is really a wonderful person.

It doesn’t work that way.

Suppose we meet some guy in a bar and our buddies stick up their noses because they seem to think he’s beneath them, but we can’t get our mind of him, and we have a chance to be with him. Would you not be with him because your snobbish friends dissed him? That would be shallow. Be with him and blow him until he hurts if he drives you nuts and screw what other people think of him.

It sounds as if this is a really nice guy and you two should be friends.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

I don’t respond sexually to people because they are quite perfect and wonderful. I respond because “I respond” don’t ask me to explain.

Not wanting to suck a guy’s dick when you don’t want to suck it is never shallow.
No body should ever be embarrassed in to thinking he should suck somebody’s dick because that somebody is really a wonderful person.
It doesn’t work that way.

Bingo.
Anyone who disagrees doesn't understand the grammar of sexual attraction, imo.
Gawd, you've got a nice ......................... font.

It sounds as if this is a really nice guy and you two should be friends.

Nice thought, but could be tricky.
Worth exploring, though.

 

[lookingforamonster]

Thanks for your great advice, guys. And for not judging me!

 

[LaFemme]

Don’t take it too personally, Looking. I think our fellow members are uncharacteristically mistaken on this one.

I don’t buy that you are being shallow on this one. I don’t respond sexually to people because they are quite perfect and wonderful. I respond because “I respond” don’t ask me to explain. I get it that you like ‘em big but I think there’s more. One of these days you just might fall for a guy who isn’t and you won’t be confused about it.

I’ve had that experience. I like “x” type and then out of nowhere, a “y” comes along and I’m crazy hooked.

You are not crazy hooked on this guy and you really need not worry about being shallow, you need to show some balls and be confident in yourself and sticking up for your emotions. I believe you when you say he’s perfect. I believe you when you say he’s got a weenie weenie and hear you saying it’s a deal breaker. Well, something’s a deal breaker and you don’t like the boy’s dick, but I bet if he really were the right guy for you – not a picture perfect image of what is supposed to be right – you’d be sucking that dick like mad.

When we feel the way about someone we should be with, their dick is always the right kind of dick because if the chemistry is right, the way they sound when they talk, or snort for that matter, and the way they smell, and they way they move, and so forth, they way they are just gets to us and we want to be all over their body and definitely their cock becomes exactly the right kind of cock.

This is not shallow. Disdaining your buddies spouse because she comes from the wrong side of town is shallow; not associating with people because you are afraid your other friends will disapprove of their clothing or speech is shallow. Not wanting to suck a guy’s dick when you don’t want to suck it is never shallow.

No body should ever be embarrassed in to thinking he should suck somebody’s dick because that somebody is really a wonderful person.

It doesn’t work that way.

Suppose we meet some guy in a bar and our buddies stick up their noses because they seem to think he’s beneath them, but we can’t get our mind of him, and we have a chance to be with him. Would you not be with him because your snobbish friends dissed him? That would be shallow. Be with him and blow him until he hurts if he drives you nuts and screw what other people think of him.

It sounds as if this is a really nice guy and you two should be friends.

I totally agree. I think it's something other than the size of his penis, it's just that's what seems to make the most sense to you. And take what you need from this thread. None of us really know you. As you get older, you'll find that there are deal breakers - and they have nothing to do with penis size. Look honestly at how you feel and then make a decision. *hugs*

 

[lookingforamonster]

*hugs back* Thank you!

 

[Pitbull]

Ouch! I think some of you are being a little harsh?!


I'm actually quite hurt that some of you were so quick to assume I'm shallow... I thought this was a community of people with open minds?

I agree some are being harsh.
I agree some are quick to assume you are shallow.

Open minds?
Some of the people some of the time
but not
All of the people all of the time.

I am in your corner on this one.

Starting a relationship where something is lacking is different than continuing one after one has been on going and the problem is not the other persons fault.

An example to illustrate what I mean.

If someone were to start off the relationship and the other person was totally impotent. That might be a big issue for even those who called you shallow.
It would take a very special person who wanted a fulfilling sex life to enter into something with such an individual.

On the other hand - after a 30 year relationship - the partner becomes impotent - most would agree it would not be right to dump someone at that point for such a reason.

Having a low excitement level during sex cheats both partners.

 

[MH07]

Darling boy,

If you love him dearly, but are not sexually attracted to him, you have a friend, not a lover/partner.

You owe it to both him and yourself to cut it off and head in a different direction.

And no, it's not shallow to be un-attracted to someone sexually. It's either there or it's not. If it's not, as I said, you have a friend, not a lover.

 

[L_Lynn]

You don't say how early on this is.

As said above, there is much, much more to a relationship than just sex, though sex is a big piece. And sex can sometimes turn on you in either direction. If your partner treats you poorly, after awhile he/she is not so attractive any more. If they treat you really well, the attraction may grow with love.

I would advise taking it slow, building the friendship part first. If your attraction doesn't become stronger, or, at least, strong enough that you want to try sucking him, then back off and keep the friendship. Don't take 6 months though to make your decision. A month or two in this case should be long enough for a feeling to grow.

 

[lookingforamonster]

I don't *love* him... We're not even officially in a relationship! We're just dating. But in my eyes, he has so many things that I look for in a guy. So if he is feeling the same, I'd definitely see if we had more long term potential. But is it wrong to persue something with a guy who is potentially not able to fulfill my needs? Even if intelectually he can? It's not as if I choose to like size.... It's inbuilt into my brain. I just love it... So could I grow to love him, even if he doesn't have a big cock?

Lots of questions. I'm seeing him tomorrow night (Friday) so I'll see how it goes...

 

[L_Lynn]

If he has all the other qualities you are looking for in a relationship, you could grow to love him. I had a relationship that began as a friendship. I had no real sexual attraction to the person initially but after a few months of friendship that changed. It ended after 3 years from pressures outside of us, but we are still friends.

Just take it slow.

 

[nudeyorker]

You know I hate to step on the line with the skeptics who have already posted but... How do you define a long range relationship? A month, a week, a year or a lifetime?
It sounds like you just want to shag and have a good time which is just fine, but based on what you have posted so far let me ask you as question.
What would your feelings be if one of you were suddenly diagnosed with an incurable disease? What if one of you were suddenly unable to work? How would you handle it if you had to care for elderly relatives and assume their care and welfare?
My point is these are the things that end of being the focus of long term relationships not how big his dick is.
I think you should do each other a favor and move on to having fun hot sex with someone who floats your boat right now. When you find the person to have a long term relationship with you are going to find it's not how big his dick is but how big his heart is and how you will both be willing to find room for each other and deal with all of the life issues that will blindside you in life and you will find a way to make things work.

 

[jhm]

Long term commited relationship here...As much as I take pride in my dick size (and there are plenty of folks here who have a lot more to be proud of than me), the truth is it becomes less important both sexually and in our broader relationship, over time...

 

[Corius]

Maybe it is not a nice thought, but it seems to me that someone has a lot of growing up to do. Go figure.

 

[B_bxmuscle]

It's good that you know yourself enough to know exactly what you want; but you'd be doing a great disservice to yourself and this guy if you got deeply involved knowing that you're going to be seriously dissatisfied in a relationship with him. After all, if you have such major misgivings now when things are still new and rosy, your frustrations can only increase over time once novelty gives way to day-to-day routine and realities.

At some point you might consider more self-examination to determine why exactly a big penis is a make-or-break issue for you. We all have preferences of some kind. But if/when preferences become fetishes that override all else, its time to figure out how, why and to what effect we can to such a place. Good luck.

 

[unzipped]

obviously you want a big dick...so move on and don't jerk yourselves off (no pun intended)

 

[Chase1600]

Maybe it is not a nice thought, but it seems to me that someone has a lot of growing up to do. Go figure.

Looking says he’s 21. That is young; I don’t think his reaction is immature for age 21 and we all deserve time to grow up at our pace. Let Looking take his time to find himself; it is his life, not the other guy's, we are discussing.

Someone wisely mentioned things that become the focus of long term relationships and pointed out that if a lover were sick or old would he not care for him and who cares about dick size then. But this is not an either or. I was attracted to my lover as I’ve encouraged Looking to do – not specifically his excellent dick size – just that I had a visceral sexual attraction to him. Years passed. He became ill and died. Throughout that last year as he was terribly sick and wasting away I never ceased loving him or caring for him or hesitated to clean up the messes or embrace him.

Actually I think had I not loved him so physically when he was hot looking, had I not always been so unabashedly intimate in every way with him, I might have had difficulty being as attached to him when things got to be bad. Instead, I always saw him as I always saw him.

In time, Looking may discover that dick size isn’t really the thing with him. But what Looking will discover won’t be a negative – that it isn’t dick size – it will be a positive. There will be a guy that he is wild about. And however he does it, it has to be what is right for him.

Now maybe Looking could learn to love this guy in time as another member describes their having done. I’ve learned that everyone is different and how it is for me can change and thus how it might have been for me but never was, may always have been a possibility. So I won’t deny that maybe I could have taken as a lover someone whom I had not been hot for in the way. I just never did and only once did I have the experience of really falling for someone whom I’d known awhile and not thought of in that way.

I do know that relying upon chemistry worked for me.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I don't *love* him... We're not even officially in a relationship! We're just dating. But in my eyes, he has so many things that I look for in a guy. So if he is feeling the same, I'd definitely see if we had more long term potential. But is it wrong to persue something with a guy who is potentially not able to fulfill my needs? Even if intelectually he can? It's not as if I choose to like size.... It's inbuilt into my brain. I just love it... So could I grow to love him, even if he doesn't have a big cock?

Lots of questions. I'm seeing him tomorrow night (Friday) so I'll see how it goes...

If it's this early in the relationship, I think the best thing to do would be to move on right now.

 

[Pitbull]

So could I grow to love him, even if he doesn't have a big cock?

If you love him dearly, but are not sexually attracted to him, you have a friend, not a lover/partner.

Maybe it is not a nice thought, but it seems to me that someone has a lot of growing up to do. Go figure.

he’s 21. That is young; I don’t think his reaction is immature for age 21 and we all deserve time to grow up at our pace.

My point is these are the things that end of being the focus of long term relationships not how big his dick is.
I think you should do each other a favor and move on to having fun hot sex with someone who floats your boat right now. When you find the person to have a long term relationship with you are going to find it's not how big his dick is but how big his heart is and how you will both be willing to find room for each other and deal with all of the life issues that will blindside you in life and you will find a way to make things work.

If it's this early in the relationship, I think the best thing to do would be to move on right now.

So much of my opinion has already been said.
And although we all feel grown up at 21, looking back none of us were.
How could we be?
We really did not deal with life.
The things that nudeyorker brought up.

If you realize that at 21 you need to grow up, then you are much more mature that most everyone else your age.
Figure out who you are and what you want.
What is important and what isn't.

When you are older and have an established relationship, the person will be so much more important than the cock.
Now maybe they are both important.
(And there are those days when it is just the cock)
Fine.
Have fun now.
One thing I can promise you, as you get older life takes away many of the opportunities to be carefree and just enjoy.
When you are young, you want excitement and thrill so you can experience pleasure.
As you are older, your pleasure will derive from achieving a peaceful contentment.