He's Still Calls Me For Sex Even Though He's Not 'attracted To Me'?

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Mantra

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So.. I've been sleeping with this guy for 4 years now, every now and then, and lately I decided to bring in this big question of "where is this going?".

A part of this conversation was about if he's even attracted to me, and he sort of like said "no".

Although he said 'no', he still invites me over to his house to stay for a few nights with him, but it's weird because he said he's not attracted to me. He never tells me I'm hot or whatever, he never tells me what he likes about me which is weird, but he calls me for sex.

He's capable of sleeping with anyone he would like to (and I'm not limiting myself when it comes to picking my partner as well) - but still decides to stay with me after all this time.

What does it all mean?
 

cedarizzo

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Reminds me of my first boyfriend. We were together for 7 years. He would NEVER say he loved me and he would never kiss me. Getting him to show any affection was next to impossible. But we had sex all the time, at least once a day for the first 5 years.

It wasn't until we broke up and he told me that he never loved me that it really started to hurt for me. But the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that he was never happy with himself. In my boyfriend's case, he was scared of growing older. He was always trying to look younger. I was 10 years younger than him and when he left me, he started seeing a guy who was 12 years younger than me. And after him, he was always looking for college aged guys.

Maybe in your case, he has issues with himself or maybe his sexuality. In his mind, he cannot be attracted to you because he isn't gay or he isn't comfortable with himself.
 
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M

Mantra

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Reminds me of my first boyfriend. We were together for 7 years. He would NEVER say he loved me and he would never kiss me. Getting him to show any affection was next to impossible. But we had sex all the time, at least once a day for the first 5 years.

It wasn't until we broke up and he told me that he never loved me that it really started to hurt for me. But the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that he was never happy with himself. In my boyfriend's case, he was scared of growing older. He was always trying to look younger. I was 10 years younger than him and when he left me, he started seeing a guy who was 12 years younger than me. And after him, he was always looking for college aged guys.

Maybe in your case, he has issues with himself or maybe his sexuality. In his mind, he cannot be attracted to you because he isn't gay or he isn't comfortable with himself.

He sounds like someone who will never find anyone better than you and you obviously deserved so much better than him.
 

cedarizzo

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He sounds like someone who will never find anyone better than you and you obviously deserved so much better than him.
Thanks. His problem is no matter what he does, he will always be getting older and I know that hates that. I did see a picture of him on FaceBook recently, his looks have caught up to his age, he no longer looks much younger than he really was. I do admit that I did have a good laugh at that. I'm sure that is why he hasn't been online much lately.
 

ronin001

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4 years is a long time to invest in a part time relationship, based on occasional sex.
My days of booty calls, are far behind me now, so I can understand where your guy is coming from.
What I do not understand is why you continue to stick it out, if he confesses he is not attracted to you and only after sex
Loneliness suxx; and yes being in something dysfunctional, can be better than nothing.
Test the waters , see what else is out there, what is the worse that can happen
 
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