"Heteroflexible"?

AlteredEgo

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Originally Posted by someotherguy

"A person who enjoys sex with both males & females but considers themself heterosexual in the sense that they do not relate with the same sex for an emotional relationship like a bi-sexual could. Heteroflexible is a heterosexual person that is beyond the bi-curious stage but would never engage in an emotional relationship with the same sex."


....of course, it is absolutely obscene to think that a heterosexual person could EVER have an emotional relationship with someone of the same gender. I mean it's perfectly fine to fuck or suck them into oblivion, but to love them is downright disgusting!!!! :confused:
If you got that from what he wrote, it is because you wanted to. I can't speak to someotherguy's experience, but I do know that I do not find it remotely disturbing to see two other women in love. Like any other couples, when I see happy lesbians running errands together or canoodling, I can't help but smile, and see their happiness as hope for the continued happiness in my own relationship with my husband.

Sometimes, when I meet some women, I would like to have sex with them. So, in the past, if we were both available for that, that's what we did. I was always pretty well-acquainted with any woman with whom I slept; on the other hand, I never felt any pressing need to know men particularly well before I trusted them enough for sex.

I have never wanted to make any romantic overtures to any women, nor have I wanted to receive any. I have never been on a date with a woman. Even considering a date seems strange to me. Why go on a date with a woman? I don't want a girlfriend. I have had intense chemistry with a woman to the point where we were very handsy and smoochy before we could get where we were going to go have sex. A public display of passion with a woman wasn't something I needed to avoid. I was never ashamed of laying with girls. So I know there is no impetus to hide my girl on girl shenanigans motivating me to avoid a romantic entanglement with another woman. I just don't like ladies that way. And if I had to be exclusive with a woman, I'd really miss the peen.

I only ever felt or desired to feel romantic with men. And when I'm horny, the go-to solution in my mind is to find a man to work that out with. To call myself totally straight would be to lie. Bisexuality implies an equal or nearly equal attraction when I hear it. Me? I'm heteroflexible. I'd always prefer to fuck a man, but sometimes, if it's the right woman, I could prefer her too. But only for sex, and beyond that, only for platonic love.

If you are reading anything negative or hateful into those feelings, those thoughts originate inside you. You may have some questions to ask yourself about your sexuality.
 

someotherguy

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Thank you, AlteredEgo.

What I was trying to get at in my original post wasn't that I think this label is something that should be used for anyone who doesn't think they're bi-sexual. I was curious as to people's opinions on it. I feel like labels like that make things easier for people to be more at ease with their respective sexualities. They seem to be a necessary evil. In a perfect world we wouldn't need them. A man could be in love with another man and yet still seek women for sex or vice versa and no one would bat an eye. But we all know that it's not as simple as that.

If the label "heteroflexible" helps someone accept themselves then I support it. Perhaps later on down the line the need for them will be gone and we won't have to search for something that defines us.
 

B_Hung Jon

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Thank you, AlteredEgo.

What I was trying to get at in my original post wasn't that I think this label is something that should be used for anyone who doesn't think they're bi-sexual. I was curious as to people's opinions on it. I feel like labels like that make things easier for people to be more at ease with their respective sexualities. They seem to be a necessary evil. In a perfect world we wouldn't need them. A man could be in love with another man and yet still seek women for sex or vice versa and no one would bat an eye. But we all know that it's not as simple as that.

If the label "heteroflexible" helps someone accept themselves then I support it. Perhaps later on down the line the need for them will be gone and we won't have to search for something that defines us.


Someotherguy, why isn't it as simple as that? Why is it so hard for a man to fall in love with another man? Or a woman with another woman, whatever their sexual orientation? To me that's the most important question to ask in this discussion.
 

nubian

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Thank you, AlteredEgo.

What I was trying to get at in my original post wasn't that I think this label is something that should be used for anyone who doesn't think they're bi-sexual. I was curious as to people's opinions on it. I feel like labels like that make things easier for people to be more at ease with their respective sexualities. They seem to be a necessary evil. In a perfect world we wouldn't need them. A man could be in love with another man and yet still seek women for sex or vice versa and no one would bat an eye. But we all know that it's not as simple as that.

If the label "heteroflexible" helps someone accept themselves then I support it. Perhaps later on down the line the need for them will be gone and we won't have to search for something that defines us.

Agreed!
 

someotherguy

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Someotherguy, why isn't it as simple as that? Why is it so hard for a man to fall in love with another man? Or a woman with another woman, whatever their sexual orientation? To me that's the most important question to ask in this discussion.

Because, unfortunately, society is still too close-minded.
 

NEWREBA

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Because, unfortunately, society is still too close-minded.

Well, if you love another person whatever their gender, who gives a fuck?! Isn't it time that we liberate ourselves from this shallow society? :biggrin1:
 

AlteredEgo

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Someotherguy, why isn't it as simple as that? Why is it so hard for a man to fall in love with another man? Or a woman with another woman, whatever their sexual orientation? To me that's the most important question to ask in this discussion.
How could I possibly fall in love with a woman, even if I were sexually attracted to her? She cannot possibly fulfill my relationship needs. It is very simple for me.
 

B_Hung Jon

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How could I possibly fall in love with a woman, even if I were sexually attracted to her? She cannot possibly fulfill my relationship needs. It is very simple for me.

I don't think that "falling in love" with another person means you have to marry them or force them into fulfilling some relationship needs that you may have. People fall in love all the time and it doesn't necessarily have to be forever or have some fixed definition in time and space. In fact it doesn't even have to be sexual. I think maybe you have a very specific view of falling in love. "Falling in love" = being together for the rest of your lives and/or getting married.
 

AlteredEgo

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I don't think that "falling in love" with another person means you have to marry them or force them into fulfilling some relationship needs that you may have. People fall in love all the time and it doesn't necessarily have to be forever or have some fixed definition in time and space. In fact it doesn't even have to be sexual. I think maybe you have a very specific view of falling in love. "Falling in love" = being together for the rest of your lives and/or getting married.
Are you serious? I would never force someone into fulfilling my relationship needs. But if they clearly can't, I'm not open to exploring those emotions with them. Why waste my energy by pouring it into something doomed?

When a woman turns me on I want to fuck her not build a life. Of course love doesn't have to be sexual; it's NOT sexual. I think you have a very weird concept of romantic love. I already said I have platonic love for some women. I have not, never will, and could not have romantic love, ie be in love with a woman. Love is not some kind of spontaneous magic sprinkled upon us by Fate, Cupid, and Hallmark. It is a chemical reaction in the brain that is remarkably similar to the brain's response to opiates and cocaine. The attachments felt are addictions. I am addicted to my husband's love like a fiend; no woman can make me feel that way because I am just not attracted to women that way. It's not my wiring.

Don't invent definitions for me either. To me, falling in love is most tangibly felt as a need to be with him, a need to build with him, and a desire to have that building continue forever. It doesn't always work, but if it isn't even possible, that ain't love to me. People do not fall in love with the expectation of transiency. That is called infatuation. Infatuation mimics cocaine in the brain, but not as strongly as a new love. An older love mimics opiates. Both can be experienced as psychological addiction.

Why are you so fussed about what kind of attractions other people have to other people? I don't tell anyone how to define their sexuality, but people constantly amaze me by trying to tell me how to define mine. (And those people are almost always gay. I do not get it.)
 

D_Harry_Crax

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A friend and I believe we invented this word in 1993. I am glad it is spreading. I define it exactly as the OP, and it is my sexual orientation. I do not relate to women with any kind of romantic love. I have never wanted a girlfriend, I don't even have many female friends. I am not attracted to most women, even superficially. For any kind of companionship I prefer a man. That means friendship, romantic love, and sexual relations. But I am attracted to some women, for friendship, some for friendship and sex. I have never fallen in love with a woman. The very idea is repulsive. Live with non-related women in my house? Hell no. I can't stand living with women.

Well, actually most men can't stand living with women, but they do it anyway.
 

novice_btm

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Remember kids... "Adult Forum". Play nice.

If the flippant "humourous" comment that castration was suggested as a form of birth control, and that had to be let go as "just a joke", then the comment that women are difficult to live with better at least be afforded the same.
 

B_Hung Jon

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To me the purpose of relationships is partially to understand who I am as a person not to primarily fulfill some deep-seated fantasy. For some people having several relationships in a life time is one path. For others it's being with one person for their entire life. I don't suggest that I know what all people need or want. I think it depends entirely on the person and their karma.
 

jfc_8122

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Haha, I actually used this term in introducing myself here :p

Sex feels good, emotional connection or not. Sex with a guy can be just as fun as sex with a girl. Personally, I feel only emotionally attracted to women, but sexually attracted to both.

Maybe bisexual, but heteroerotic? I don't know really. Nor do I care much. All I know is I like what I like.
 

NEWREBA

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Are you serious? I would never force someone into fulfilling my relationship needs. But if they clearly can't, I'm not open to exploring those emotions with them. Why waste my energy by pouring it into something doomed?

When a woman turns me on I want to fuck her not build a life. Of course love doesn't have to be sexual; it's NOT sexual. I think you have a very weird concept of romantic love. I already said I have platonic love for some women. I have not, never will, and could not have romantic love, ie be in love with a woman. Love is not some kind of spontaneous magic sprinkled upon us by Fate, Cupid, and Hallmark. It is a chemical reaction in the brain that is remarkably similar to the brain's response to opiates and cocaine. The attachments felt are addictions. I am addicted to my husband's love like a fiend; no woman can make me feel that way because I am just not attracted to women that way. It's not my wiring.

Don't invent definitions for me either. To me, falling in love is most tangibly felt as a need to be with him, a need to build with him, and a desire to have that building continue forever. It doesn't always work, but if it isn't even possible, that ain't love to me. People do not fall in love with the expectation of transiency. That is called infatuation. Infatuation mimics cocaine in the brain, but not as strongly as a new love. An older love mimics opiates. Both can be experienced as psychological addiction.

Why are you so fussed about what kind of attractions other people have to other people? I don't tell anyone how to define their sexuality, but people constantly amaze me by trying to tell me how to define mine. (And those people are almost always gay. I do not get it.)


alteredego, you have a traditional view of relationships it seems to me. i presuppose that you realize that not everyone has your same point of view. you're doing some preaching here to tell people how they should define their sexuality. maybe i'm reading you wrong here though. i don't think anyone is telling you how to define yourself. i also think that your opinion that "those people are almost always gay" is quite homophobic and not true. why would you bring up the gay issue? prejudice perhaps? :confused: