"Heteroflexible"?

[Catharsis]

Ah, this sounds like me. Except I've never had a sexual experience with any other guys... I do find them physically attractive, but I couldn't be emotionally bonded to them.

 

[B_Nick8]

More like pure bullshit, if you ask me.

Perhaps you misunderstand me. Perhaps not. Maybe we should talk, but I suspect I hit a nerve.

As for me I consider all of the labels as next to worthless, but must admit that "heteroflexible" comes damned close to describing me.

Finally the truth is spoken with no holds barred. Thanks, Nick. I think the "no label" excuse has a little merit in certain circumstances but generally speaking if someone is having sex with another person they have to acknowledge the truth of the situation, and emotional integration is a huge part of that. This idea that guys can just suck cock or get sucked and that it means nothing is a whole crock of shyt. After all whether you want to believe it or not, "just sex" is two people relating to each other and it does have consequences for both parties. It's not so much what you call it, but rather how you deal with what emotions it brings up in you and how you integrate those feelings into the rest of your life. I see a whole let of suffering in the world created by men (and women) who disregard their sexual affairs to their own detriment. Pretending like something didn't happen or is "just sex" is a cop-out which will affect the parties somewhere down the line. I feel the mature response is to "own" what we do however we may define it.

Thanks, HJ. I think--I know--that too many of the peeps here want more from their encounters than a dildo. There's an overriding yearning for male-bonding, mutual nudity, "comparing", mutual jerking, you name it, and all from straight me. I believe they're more than primarily straight. But I believe there's a primal need that men have for men that Western society, particularly American society, doesn't allow.

That said, this hetero-flexible principle seems to me a way for men to disavow the need to identify their sexuality entirely or, frankly, in any way at all. To, as I said, compartmentalize it into oblivion. "Oh, I just want to suck on something or have something up my ass (or "worship" which is a word that comes up more often than not) but I could never "kiss, or have a relationship with, or love...". It's crap. Vito...you're blocking.

If you got that from what he wrote, it is because you wanted to. I can't speak to someotherguy's experience, but I do know that I do not find it remotely disturbing to see two other women in love. Like any other couples, when I see happy lesbians running errands together or canoodling, I can't help but smile, and see their happiness as hope for the continued happiness in my own relationship with my husband.

Sometimes, when I meet some women, I would like to have sex with them. So, in the past, if we were both available for that, that's what we did. I was always pretty well-acquainted with any woman with whom I slept; on the other hand, I never felt any pressing need to know men particularly well before I trusted them enough for sex.

I have never wanted to make any romantic overtures to any women, nor have I wanted to receive any. I have never been on a date with a woman. Even considering a date seems strange to me. Why go on a date with a woman? I don't want a girlfriend. I have had intense chemistry with a woman to the point where we were very handsy and smoochy before we could get where we were going to go have sex. A public display of passion with a woman wasn't something I needed to avoid. I was never ashamed of laying with girls. So I know there is no impetus to hide my girl on girl shenanigans motivating me to avoid a romantic entanglement with another woman. I just don't like ladies that way. And if I had to be exclusive with a woman, I'd really miss the peen.

I only ever felt or desired to feel romantic with men. And when I'm horny, the go-to solution in my mind is to find a man to work that out with. To call myself totally straight would be to lie. Bisexuality implies an equal or nearly equal attraction when I hear it. Me? I'm heteroflexible. I'd always prefer to fuck a man, but sometimes, if it's the right woman, I could prefer her too. But only for sex, and beyond that, only for platonic love.

If you are reading anything negative or hateful into those feelings, those thoughts originate inside you. You may have some questions to ask yourself about your sexuality.

AE, this is one of the most truly accessible and clear statements I've ever read. I completely believe and understand you. Still, I've yet to hear anything that approaches this from a man :wink:. Maybe I will, because I know they exist as well, although rarely as well spoken. Thank you.

 

[AlteredEgo]

alteredego, you have a traditional view of relationships it seems to me. i presuppose that you realize that not everyone has your same point of view. you're doing some preaching here to tell people how they should define their sexuality. maybe i'm reading you wrong here though. i don't think anyone is telling you how to define yourself. i also think that your opinion that "those people are almost always gay" is quite homophobic and not true. why would you bring up the gay issue? prejudice perhaps?

Listen, Lady, get a grip. I do not have a traditional view of relationships, I just don't want other grown women living in my house, let alone trying to agree with one over how to raise a family, and the hundreds of other little things I have learned to compromise over with my husband. I do not LIKE most women I meet. I cannot conceive of loving one as a life partner. There are differences in how men and women are socialized when they are children, and those differences make men a lot more appealing to me, and make me seem weird to most women. However, I love seeing happy couples. Any happy couple gives me hope for relationships in general. If I knew how to recognize triads and larger, seeing happy ones would give me the same feeling. You are presupposing MORE than you think you are.

Show me one! Show me just ONE post where I tell someone else how to define their sexuality. I dare you. You won't, but I'd love to get the giggles watching you try lamely to stretch my words into something like that.

On the other hand, I can't see how you don't see others as telling me (well, not me, specifically, but anyone who feels about themselves as I feel about myself) how I should define my sexuality, especially HungJon. Look at this.

...generally speaking if someone is having sex with another person they have to acknowledge the truth of the situation, and emotional integration is a huge part of that.This idea that guys can just suck cock or get sucked and that it means nothing is a whole crock of shyt. After all whether you want to believe it or not, "just sex" is two people relating to each other and it does have consequences for both parties. It's not so much what you call it, but rather how you deal with what emotions it brings up in you and how you integrate those feelings into the rest of your life.

Emphasis added by me. Here, he is telling people that they definitely form emotional connections when they have sex, and cannot have sex just for the sake of the sex. This is in direct opposition to what some of us have said as we define our sexuality. I, and some others who posted in this thread have said that the reason we do not feel "bisexual" is an appropriate way to describe our sexuality is that we do not feel equally attracted to both genders, and we do not feel intense emotional connections (at least in a romantic sense) for others of our respective genders. It might be easier to swallow this from him, if he didn't add the part about HIS OPINION about how I define MYSELF being true whether I "want to believe it or not". And you think I should not find that offensive? Let's see if he has anything further to say which might mitigate this.

I see a whole let of suffering in the world created by men (and women) who disregard their sexual affairs to their own detriment. Pretending like something didn't happen or is "just sex" is a cop-out which will affect the parties somewhere down the line. I feel the mature response is to "own" what we do however we may define it.

How is not assigning emotions I do not feel to an act I do not deny enjoying a cop-out, not owning something I did, and more importantly, how is this supposed to effect me in the future? The only effect it has ever had so far, is something nice to jill off to when I remember. I'm preachy? I'm peachy? Really? And this guy isn't telling me how to feel about fucking women? Yeah. Like I already said, Reba. Get a grip.

Also, do not presume to tell me about my life experiences. I catch a lot of slack whenever talking publicly about this issue, and it is, in fact, nearly always from gay people. If I use the word bisexual, I get a lot of gay people (men and women) telling me I'm just in denial about being a lesbian. They say there is no such thing as bisexuality, and that I need to accept myself. No straight person has EVER said that to me in that context, nor has any bisexual. When I use the word heteroflexible, which is less well-understood by others, but more accurate to me, I get the exact same type of prejudice thrown at me, except this time, bisexual and straight people join in. How is this relevant, you ask? Well, straight people are a majority group, and do not face much sexuality-based discrimination, and none whatsoever that effects their legal rights. But they usually don't mess with me about my sexuality. Gays, on the other hand, DO face a lot of discrimination, and are usually the ones who can't let me be in charge of defining my own sexuality. Gays are frequently told their attractions are unnatural, a choice, and that they can be taught to be a "nice, normal straight person". The irony is not lost on me. Is it lost on you? No. I'm not homophobic. Seems to me the prejudice here is yours, against me.

AE, this is one of the most truly accessible and clear statements I've ever read. I completely believe and understand you. Still, I've yet to hear anything that approaches this from a man :wink:. Maybe I will, because I know they exist as well, although rarely as well spoken. Thank you.

This is very complimentary. I'm glad I was able to get anyone to understand me. Thanks.

 

[B_ILIW]

I was recently made aware of this term by a good friend of mine. We were having a conversation on what I would label myself. I can't call myself "Bi-sexual" because I can never see myself as having an emotional relationship with a man. Neither can I label myself as "straight" because I have had sexual encounters with other men and have quite enjoyed them. He said that perhaps I was "heteroflexible". I looked it up and it summed up my view on things.

"A person who enjoys sex with both male & females but considers themself heterosexual in the sense that they do not relate with the same sex for an emotional relationship like a bi-sexual could. Heteroflexible is a heterosexual person that is beyond the bi-curious stage but would never engage in an emotional relationship with the same sex."

What do you all think? Have you heard of this before? Could this be a valid term? Or is it just another useless label that eases people minds when they're confused about themselves?

Never heard the label, but it sounds like the term men that have sex with men.

 

[D_Harry_Crax]

Prove this.

I think the fact that you're the only one who thought this needs to be proved suggests that it doesn't really need to be proved.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I think the fact that you're the only one who thought this needs to be proved suggests that it doesn't really need to be proved.

 

[HungThickProf]

Thank you, AlteredEgo.

What I was trying to get at in my original post wasn't that I think this label is something that should be used for anyone who doesn't think they're bi-sexual. I was curious as to people's opinions on it. I feel like labels like that make things easier for people to be more at ease with their respective sexualities. They seem to be a necessary evil. In a perfect world we wouldn't need them. A man could be in love with another man and yet still seek women for sex or vice versa and no one would bat an eye. But we all know that it's not as simple as that.

If the label "heteroflexible" helps someone accept themselves then I support it. Perhaps later on down the line the need for them will be gone and we won't have to search for something that defines us.

I'm not trying to argue here, but my issues with labels are the ones that people try to reach for so that they can remain in their comfort zones. I personally identify myself as a gay male, sexually bisexual, but that's because I don't date women. I've tried, and it's just not for me. However, sexually, I am attracted to them and I can definitely have my fun with them. Now to be fair, that's how I always identify myself- explanation given. It doesn't matter because I'm already against the norm. Once you acknowledge and it's known that you're anything but straight, that strict wall is sorta destroyed for you. You can tell everyone on this site that you're heteroflexible- SHOUT IT FROM THE INTERNET ROOFTOPS! But once you hit that X in the upper-right hand corner and go about your daily life- to those around you, you're heterosexual. And that's exactly what you would tell to anyone who isn't your best friend or you fear would judge you. No matter what, people will see you how they want to see you, not necessarily how you want them to see you. So what's the point of feeding into the shit and adding another label to the list if you can't even properly categorize yourself in private?

When it comes down to it, I'm a bisexual who doesn't date women and I prefer men. You're a bisexual who doesn't date men, and prefer women. What's so hard about that? Because lets be for real for here. The label "heteroflexible" is not about you feeling comfortable and accepting yourself, but being accepted by others and taking comfort in the fact that you still hold the label heterosexual, and no one's the wiser.

If you truly believe that labels shouldn't even matter, then join the fight in preaching tolerance and acceptance- and do your part to try to make our world a place where you'd like to exist, instead of hiding and sucking cock in secret.

I'm just sayin', bud =)

 

[kayman]

I'm not trying to argue here, but my issues with labels are the ones that people try to reach for so that they can remain in their comfort zones. I personally identify myself as a gay male, sexually bisexual, but that's because I don't date women. I've tried, and it's just not for me. However, sexually, I am attracted to them and I can definitely have my fun with them. Now to be fair, that's how I always identify myself- explanation given. It doesn't matter because I'm already against the norm. Once you acknowledge and it's known that you're anything but straight, that strict wall is sorta destroyed for you. You can tell everyone on this site that you're heteroflexible- SHOUT IT FROM THE INTERNET ROOFTOPS! But once you hit that X in the upper-right hand corner and go about your daily life- to those around you, you're heterosexual. And that's exactly what you would tell to anyone who isn't your best friend or you fear would judge you. No matter what, people will see you how they want to see you, not necessarily how you want them to see you. So what's the point of feeding into the shit and adding another label to the list if you can't even properly categorize yourself in private?

When it comes down to it, I'm a bisexual who doesn't date women and I prefer men. You're a bisexual who doesn't date men, and prefer women. What's so hard about that? Because lets be for real for here. The label "heteroflexible" is not about you feeling comfortable and accepting yourself, but being accepted by others and taking comfort in the fact that you still hold the label heterosexual, and no one's the wiser.

If you truly believe that labels shouldn't even matter, then join the fight in preaching tolerance and acceptance- and do your part to try to make our world a place where you'd like to exist, instead of hiding and sucking cock in secret.

I'm just sayin', bud =)

Bravo! I couldn't have said it better myself! :arms: This bizarre conversation is as bizarre as the ones some guys I've talked with have with me about how they aren't bisexual rather "bi-attractive" because they don't want a relationship with another dude but like to fuck one.

Our society is going to hell in the handbasket because so many people want to have sexual relations without the other stuff like emotional and mental engagement that required to sustain healthy interactions with other human beings.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'm not trying to argue here, but my issues with labels are the ones that people try to reach for so that they can remain in their comfort zones. I personally identify myself as a gay male, sexually bisexual, but that's because I don't date women. I've tried, and it's just not for me. However, sexually, I am attracted to them and I can definitely have my fun with them. Now to be fair, that's how I always identify myself- explanation given. It doesn't matter because I'm already against the norm. Once you acknowledge and it's known that you're anything but straight, that strict wall is sorta destroyed for you. You can tell everyone on this site that you're heteroflexible- SHOUT IT FROM THE INTERNET ROOFTOPS! But once you hit that X in the upper-right hand corner and go about your daily life- to those around you, you're heterosexual. And that's exactly what you would tell to anyone who isn't your best friend or you fear would judge you. No matter what, people will see you how they want to see you, not necessarily how you want them to see you. So what's the point of feeding into the shit and adding another label to the list if you can't even properly categorize yourself in private?

When it comes down to it, I'm a bisexual who doesn't date women and I prefer men. You're a bisexual who doesn't date men, and prefer women. What's so hard about that? Because lets be for real for here. The label "heteroflexible" is not about you feeling comfortable and accepting yourself, but being accepted by others and taking comfort in the fact that you still hold the label heterosexual, and no one's the wiser.

If you truly believe that labels shouldn't even matter, then join the fight in preaching tolerance and acceptance- and do your part to try to make our world a place where you'd like to exist, instead of hiding and sucking cock in secret.

I'm just sayin', bud =)

Who are you to tell someone else how to identify? THAT is what I do not get. If he doesn't feel like the word bisexual is quite right, or if he feels it is kind of disingenuous, why can't he try out something that he feels better with.

I identify as heteroflexible, and have since I was 13! Back then, I mostly knew girls who were square pegs in round holes, like I was. When boys suddenly stopped calling my house, and one particular girl called several times a day, my mother thought I was dating her. (I wasn't. I wasn't even interested in fucking her.) She encouraged me to be open to any feelings I might be having. She told me, "Janis Joplin said not to cut ourselves off from half a world of love." I don't know if my mother was sharing something about her own sexuality, or just trying to be supportive of mine. But whichever it is, I certainly didn't come from a family I would have to hide anything from. I wouldn't keep friends who wouldn't let me be myself. I don't work in a field that would preclude me from being openly gay or bisexual. My absolute favorite type of hangout is karaoke night at a gay bar. In fact, there is one back in NY that has given me my own theme song! I do not live a life that would make anyone want to hide his or her sexuality. So why would I try to hide mine? If ther has to be a label, heteroflexible is the one that feels right for me. Just because you feel differently, that doesn't mean I'm wrong to feel the way I do, nor does it mean that the dudes who feel the same way fit into your neat little boxes.

I have to wonder why some people seem ever vigilant for signs of closeting in others. Every person who rejects the label you use for yourself isn't saying something negative about your self-identifying labels, nor is every person who rejects the labels you embrace trying to hide from the ramifications of your label. How very closed-minded. You want acceptance? Two-way street.

 

[HungThickProf]

Who are you to tell someone else how to identify? THAT is what I do not get. If he doesn't feel like the word bisexual is quite right, or if he feels it is kind of disingenuous, why can't he try out something that he feels better with.

I identify as heteroflexible, and have since I was 13! Back then, I mostly knew girls who were square pegs in round holes, like I was. When boys suddenly stopped calling my house, and one particular girl called several times a day, my mother thought I was dating her. (I wasn't. I wasn't even interested in fucking her.) She encouraged me to be open to any feelings I might be having. She told me, "Janis Joplin said not to cut ourselves off from half a world of love." I don't know if my mother was sharing something about her own sexuality, or just trying to be supportive of mine. But whichever it is, I certainly didn't come from a family I would have to hide anything from. I wouldn't keep friends who wouldn't let me be myself. I don't work in a field that would preclude me from being openly gay or bisexual. My absolute favorite type of hangout is karaoke night at a gay bar. In fact, there is one back in NY that has given me my own theme song! I do not live a life that would make anyone want to hide his or her sexuality. So why would I try to hide mine? If ther has to be a label, heteroflexible is the one that feels right for me. Just because you feel differently, that doesn't mean I'm wrong to feel the way I do, nor does it mean that the dudes who feel the same way fit into your neat little boxes.

I have to wonder why some people seem ever vigilant for signs of closeting in others. Every person who rejects the label you use for yourself isn't saying something negative about your self-identifying labels, nor is every person who rejects the labels you embrace trying to hide from the ramifications of your label. How very closed-minded. You want acceptance? Two-way street.

Well excuse the hell out of me. The point that I was trying to make of course was not to discourage being open-minded or trying to slap a label on someone. You're right, acceptance works both ways. But just because someone feels that they can accept others doesn't necessarily mean that they accept themselves, or truly believe in the acceptance and tolerance that they may preach. For example- growing up, my mother had gay friends she loved like family. When I came out to her, it was the end of the world! A friend of mine has a dad who isn't racist- loves me dearly. But the thought of his children dating outside of their race turns him into the Hulk- what the hell is that?

The acceptance that I'm referring to is that if you're going to pick a label that you feel works for you, so you can say "I'm straight but from time to time, I like to do this and this with the same sex", then fine- I won't argue there. But be willing to accept that that's who you are, and if someone in your day to day life was to ask you your sexual orientation, then speak up and say heteroflexible. Because if you can create another label/category that you feel explains you, then there shouldn't be anything to hide, should there? Otherwise, this entire thread is pointless- you're just taking yourself back to square one. Because lets be honest here- how many "heteroflexible" individuals who replied to this thread do you truly believe would tell their buddies they are?
And if you're going to argue "Well it doesn't matter if it's just sexual!" Then bullshit- you're right- it doesn't matter- I just want to know if you're sucking my dick or not- I don't give a shit! It just takes us back to it all being pointless!

So before you go on thinking that I'm some closed-minded bitch, who just wants everyone to call themselves gay or bi or straight- that's not the case. I'm cool with the term "heteroflexible", just like I'd be cool with going by "homoflexible". But my issue is where that honesty ends. You can tell a bunch of strangers on the internet that you're heteroflexible, but if you can't tell a stranger you met at a bar, a friend you're having dinner with, or a relative if they asked for no reason at all, then what's the fucking point?

I've never thought I'd ever say this, but Nick8 might actually be right about labels. Because it seems that most people who have issues with labels are the ones who take issue in having to explain their own. Seriously, Gay is Gay. Bi is Bi. Heterosexual is now Straight, Str8, Bi-Curious, and Heteroflexible. What the fuck?

 

[HungThickProf]

Bravo! I couldn't have said it better myself! :arms: This bizarre conversation is as bizarre as the ones some guys I've talked with have with me about how they aren't bisexual rather "bi-attractive" because they don't want a relationship with another dude but like to fuck one.

Our society is going to hell in the handbasket because so many people want to have sexual relations without the other stuff like emotional and mental engagement that required to sustain healthy interactions with other human beings.

Dude, I agree completely. We don't care anymore. We're all desensitized. I know, because I'm guilty of it.

 

[AlteredEgo]

You are making a lot of assumptions without asking any questions, Dante. But I still adore you.

 

[Hunnydewboy]

Just love yourself and your set!
I'm on the right track baby i was born this way yeah!

Fuking born this way!

 

[HungThickProf]

You are making a lot of assumptions without asking any questions, Dante. But I still adore you.

To be fair, I should ask more questions. But the only thing I could think to ask would be if someone would truly acknowledge themselves as heteroflexible. I'd like to be wrong in assuming that they wouldn't- that's a step forward.

 

[AlteredEgo]

That's all I'm saying. Ask, don't assume. I agree; that's a huge step forward.

 

[HungThickProf]

That's all I'm saying. Ask, don't assume. I agree; that's a huge step forward.

But what should I ask? What would you ask?

 

[AlteredEgo]

But what should I ask? What would you ask?

Exactly what you said. The assumption you tend to make is that the label is an escape clause employed by people who want to get out of owning to their true sexuality, and who simply tell people they encounter offline that they are heterosexual. So ask precisely that, rather than assuming. "What do you tell people who might judge you out in your real life when they ask your orientation?"

Now, if you asked me that question, I'd have to chuckle. No one in my entire life has asked me my orientation except for women I wasn't attracted to, so to spare their feelings, I told them I was straight. It seemed kinder than, "I'm heteroflexible, or bisexual if that's easier to understand, but I'm just not attracted to you." And well, there was that one incident with my mother, but she didn't outright ask me; she asked if I was attracted to that particular girl, so I answered that question. I didn't volunteer that I was attracted to a girl who looked uncannily like a Bajoran from Star Trek, but that she turned out to be both straight and boring, and so I was pursuing this guy from the handball court instead. Eventually she found out about the handball court guy, and helped me figure out how to get his attention. Oh, and I guess there have been guys who asked if I was down to invite a girl over for a threesome. That probably counts too. I always said, "I don't know any girls we'd both find attractive. I like dark-haired girls with bigger hips and asses than mine, full lips, brown eyes, and some pubic hair. If you know of such a girl, give her my number so I can get to know her. If she's not at least a little geeky, I don't see myself getting wet. Basically, she needs to be you, but female." They never said, "Are you bisexual?" So I never said, "No, I'm heteroflexible. Do you know what that means?"

 

[Touch_here]

I've held relationships with both men and women. I actually came out in '02 during my early 20's, and enjoyed playing the male field until an unexpected encounter with a woman that ended up becoming my then GF. In reality I always felt I enjoyed both genders vs just one, and that relationship kinda confirmed things.

I don't call myself "bi" "switch-hitter" or whatever. I am who I am, full stop. I can say at 32 I am more comfortable in my own skin than I ever have been. It's just a shame a lot of "bi" guys don't seem to feel the same way...

 

[HungThickProf]

Exactly what you said. The assumption you tend to make is that the label is an escape clause employed by people who want to get out of owning to their true sexuality, and who simply tell people they encounter offline that they are heterosexual. So ask precisely that, rather than assuming. "What do you tell people who might judge you out in your real life when they ask your orientation?"

Now, if you asked me that question, I'd have to chuckle. No one in my entire life has asked me my orientation except for women I wasn't attracted to, so to spare their feelings, I told them I was straight. It seemed kinder than, "I'm heteroflexible, or bisexual if that's easier to understand, but I'm just not attracted to you." And well, there was that one incident with my mother, but she didn't outright ask me; she asked if I was attracted to that particular girl, so I answered that question. I didn't volunteer that I was attracted to a girl who looked uncannily like a Bajoran from Star Trek, but that she turned out to be both straight and boring, and so I was pursuing this guy from the handball court instead. Eventually she found out about the handball court guy, and helped me figure out how to get his attention. Oh, and I guess there have been guys who asked if I was down to invite a girl over for a threesome. That probably counts too. I always said, "I don't know any girls we'd both find attractive. I like dark-haired girls with bigger hips and asses than mine, full lips, brown eyes, and some pubic hair. If you know of such a girl, give her my number so I can get to know her. If she's not at least a little geeky, I don't see myself getting wet. Basically, she needs to be you, but female." They never said, "Are you bisexual?" So I never said, "No, I'm heteroflexible. Do you know what that means?"

So just to be sure, and please forgive me- I'm stoned at the moment- so just to be sure, if he would more than likely tell someone that he's heterosexual over "heteroflexible", my assumption is correct, and so would my argument? I just want to be sure here. Because if that was to be the case, then choosing to create/go by a new label would be meaningless. It all comes back to sex. And like I said- I don't care how you identify yourself- I just want to know if we're fucking or not. We could go back and forth, and mix and mingle each others' words. Like I said earlier I'm a bisexual male who prefers men, and he prefers women. You just said

It seemed kinder than, "I'm heteroflexible, or bisexual if that's easier to understand, but I'm just not attracted to you."

No matter the name you put on it, that's what it comes back to. So what's the point?

So to the original poster- would you tell people in your day to day life, if they asked of course, that you're heteroflexible or heterosexual?

According to the world english dictionary, the definitions of heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual all lack emotional involvement- only sexual attraction. So again, what's the point of creating a new label if we can't even correctly use the labels we have. Lets face it- the definitions are clear, and there's nothing ambiguous about them.

 

[AlteredEgo]

So just to be sure, and please forgive me- I'm stoned at the moment- so just to be sure, if he would more than likely tell someone that he's heterosexual over "heteroflexible", my assumption is correct, and so would my argument? I just want to be sure here. Because if that was to be the case, then choosing to create/go by a new label would be meaningless. It all comes back to sex. And like I said- I don't care how you identify yourself- I just want to know if we're fucking or not. We could go back and forth, and mix and mingle each others' words. Like I said earlier I'm a bisexual male who prefers men, and he prefers women. You just said No matter the name you put on it, that's what it comes back to. So what's the point?

So to the original poster- would you tell people in your day to day life, if they asked of course, that you're heteroflexible or heterosexual?

According to the world english dictionary, the definitions of heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual all lack emotional involvement- only sexual attraction. So again, what's the point of creating a new label if we can't even correctly use the labels we have. Lets face it- the definitions are clear, and there's nothing ambiguous about them.

So what's the point? The point is I'm willing to tell a white lie to spare someone's feelings. I imagine it is nicer to be told, "No, I'm not attracted to any women." than it is to be told, "Yes, I am attracted to women, but you are not one of them." If I don't know them anyway, and they will never find out otherwise, why not spare their feelings? That's the point.

If you asked and your question was answered that way your assumption would only be correct as applied to that one person answering, and the rest of your argument would only be applied to that one person answering. This is parallel to someone assuming that all transvestites are gay, for example. Now, if you ask transvestites if they are gay, some will say yes, and some will tell you they are only attracted to women, but they like to wear women's clothing from time to time. You can't run around assuming things. You have to ask.

Dictionary or no, there are connotations associated to the words based on the commonly observed behaviors of those who identify with the labels. Straight people can be observed having sex just with those of the opposite sex, and pairing up in monogamous relationships with members of the opposite sex. This is a normative expectation. It doesn't happen to describe me perfectly, so I prefer not to use it. To my perception, the word bisexual con notates an equality of preferences that I just do not feel. I am not equally attracted to men and women, with or without the fact that I'm not down for a romance with a chick. I certainly don't belong to any vagina websites. It doesn't fit, to me. It's inaccurate. Acceptable, but slightly false. If it feels accurate for you, I'm glad you have the word bisexual as a commonly understood word to describe your attractions. Good for you.