hey, help me

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by ultravires, Oct 28, 2006.

  1. ultravires

    ultravires New Member

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    i have always been like this, and i wonder why.

    whenever someone at a bar or other social places initiated to approach me, the chances are i wont be crazy at all about him. i'd rather hunt for someone who seems cool and less easygoing, less approachable/
    and also, in a relationship, once he becomes so sticky on me, i just lose most of my interest of him. and i also feel guity if i led him to a deeper relationship with me.
    and also, whenever i am asked what sort of guys i like, i just don't know what to respond. it's so hard for me to feel and show affection to anyone. ppl say thats because i have slept too many ppl. is it true.

    am i cheap? should i see a therapist?
     
  2. TallHungLB

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    In my opinion you should just calm down and not think about it too much. The harder you push, the harder you'll hit the wall. Just take things in stride. Things won't happen (i.e., finding the right someone) until they're meant to so there's no use getting yourself all worked up trying to over-analyze it.

    Go With The Flow!!!:240:
     
  3. reallyhot

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    I concur with TallHungLB...
    Well said! Go with the Flow!
     
  4. GoneA

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    I dunno . . . how much do you charge?

    At any rate, count my vote in with the "go with the flow" crowd. While your taciturnity may be somewhat related to your "having slept with too many people", I doubt that's the chief reason. You were more than likely having a 'good time' -- a right you're certainly entitled to. However, you did use the term "too many people" as opposed to "very many", the former having a negative connotation and possibly unveiling a degree of regret (or remorse) for having done so. If so, I say there's nothing that can be done to change the past; however, you can resolve to enjoy your life and live it the best you can.

    Also, if you feel you've slept with too many people, you may be looking for a 'tougher catch' ... a challenge, as it were. Thus, you're desire to have the "less approachable" types. The best I can do for that one is wish you good luck.

    Feel free to call bullshit.
     
  5. AlteredEgo

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    Your pun fu stronger than mine!:biggrin1:
     
  6. GoneA

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    LOL!! Nice!! :cool:
     
  7. hypolimnas

    hypolimnas Well-Known Member

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    it's so hard for me to feel and show affection to anyone. ppl say thats because i have slept too many ppl. is it true. am i cheap? should i see a therapist?[/quote

    Be patient with yourself. There is no reason why you are unlovable or won't have fulfillment and happiness. It will come later. Life is an art, you will develop your own approach.

    The main thing is to get out as much as you can, open up, engage with the world.

    Look for balance, and positive stuff in other parts of your life.

    Don't reject the potentially good ones too quickly. They do often seem few, and far between, though.

    We all develop feelings, (and ways to show affection to the people special to us) in our own time.

    If you are feeling lonely then you might look for new people to talk with. You could find it will help, but I'm sure getting on with it will as well.

    Helping other people, or causes, can sometimes be a good way to develop a new circle of friends. Self reflection isn't always very productive.

    The main thing is to work out how you can have more fun in your life. The rest will take care of itself.
     
  8. invisibleman

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    No you aren't cheap. If you want to see a therapist make sure you tell them that you aren't likely to commit to he or she. Hehehe. You are just afraid of committing.

    Maybe you should warn the guys ahead of time so they won't waste their time with you. (It is only fair.) Be polyamorous with other polyamorous people. (They won't be worried because they have many people in their lives to love.)

    Well, if you are afraid to show your emotions. Maybe you should really ask yourself why. If you feel that it is a problem, you can ask yourself for the reasons why. Only you can know.:smile:
     
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