What's going wrong Valkyriessong? The lack of kissing may be down to your choice of men, and the lack of your orgasm may be also due to your choice of men. We have to accept accept that most of us guys don't work hard enough at sex, but maybe you're not giving them a chance to find their own way of turning you on. What I mean here is that you might be putting undue pressure on yourself regarding your sexual response.
The longest sex episodes I've had are approximately 10 minutes give or take a few. Maybe on extremely rare occasions it stretched to 15 but that's so rare I think it's only happened twice. And that was back in my early 20's. My 10 minutes are good. It's just well..I had to rely on bottled lube a lot. My partner of many years didn't particularly get into foreplay sessions. We aren't together anymore and I'm not dating anyone now. But our short sessions were fun.
I have a rather difficult time orgasming now even with solo 'play'. When I was younger I could have clitoral orgasms in 5 minutes flat. Now, 5 out of 6 times I never orgasm no matter how long I go at it. And the few times I do it takes 30 minutes or longer to build up to it. And of course I've never had a vaginal orgasm. I have no clue what those are like though I keep reading and hearing from many different sources that many women given the choice prefer vaginal orgasms to clitoral ones (though they still like clitoral orgasms too).
I'd never even owned any sex toys until Fall 2005 when I got my little vibrator and my pink wand. They're still the only sex toys I own. I can't afford anything else right now.
I think my hormonal levels are falling as I age so it's become more difficult to orgasm via any means. And it's been so long since I've orgasmed with a man during sex I can't actually remember anymore what that truly feels like. I only remember intellectually now that once long ago - in my mid to late 20's - I orgasmed clitorally a few times with girl-on-top grinding with a man.
I've never had a man offer to help me try to have a g-spot orgasm. I've never had a man go down on me. Most men I've been with either A) shoot within 3-5 minutes of poking it in or B) just don't have much interest in caressing, kissing or whatnot. And sometimes if they went for the 10 minute sessions they'd have to stop and start so often I'd be perpetually at stage one arrousal - ie. having difficulty getting wet. Sometimes I get lucky though and I lubricate way too much. So much there's no friction at all. I can't figure that one out. I finally just chalked that up to fluctuating hormone levels too.
Well..there's also the fact I'm on the larger-than-average side of things for a woman internally. I suppose that might have something to do with the lack of orgasms too. My thing has always been how hard a man gets cause often it's the only way I really feel anything going on.
I do like fellatio though. Most guys seem to really enjoy that too. So that's one fun thing we both get to enjoy. What sex I've had has been good. Doesn't last very long but it's good. Not great, but good. :smile:
I don't know...maybe it's the men I've picked to be with over the years. They just haven't been interested in foreplay. Maybe someday that will change. I don't know...
I guess it's just that I've never experienced personally what I see so many women and men post of their own experiences on these or other boards. Reading all these experiences - to me - is somewhat like reading a novel. I can imagine what it's like vicariously through what others have written but I've never experienced any of these things myself. I've never actually experienced 20+ minute lovemaking sessions where two people spend time just sort of engaged in body worship. But through all of you I get to live many exciting experiences all the same. :smile: