Hey! Question for the girls

[helgaleena]

In my personal experience, men can be just as bad about explaining what they want as women. It's like they think they can just stick it in and the whole business will magically take care of itself without having to admit they might not be fountains of sex magnetics. Certainly it will get the job done, but if you want finesse, if you want excellence, you do need to communicate.

You are not using another person as a substitute for masturbation, you are RELATING. Both men and women have a lot to learn when they first begin loving relationships about how to make it better as a team, an association. And I do not think it's any harder to talk about for men than it is for women. It's just a cultural bias.

 

[Not_Punny]

Nothing on earth I relish more than making a pretty woman laugh.

and now I am imagining you lying there with relish...



A condiment compliment.

LOL * quickly changes out of ancient PJs into something less comfortable but easier on the eyes *

Women are supposed to be better communicators than men. Subtlety in conveying messages is fine between two or more women. Once a man is involved, women as the supposedly better communicators should automatically adjust their style of communication to the level of the recipient. If he needs to be hit over the head with a message, just so it. Ask for what you want in a way the would-be giver understands, or shut the hell up about not getting it. That's my view.

You're right. It's not my strong suit. :redface:

This.

* sigh * Toastmasters, here I come...:wink:

i say what i like and don't like. i don't beat around the bush, i'm clear and assertive.
trouble is that, as many posts on this site prove, lots of men think they know better.
also, as soon as i'm naked the big head stops working, so instructions are literally in one ear and out the other.
i'll say something 5 times before i move to blazing row. if it doesn't improve after that then i'm outa there!

some guys are great, some guys are cretins...it's hard to predict which are which from how sharp they are outside the bedroom.

I wish a little of your communication ability would leap across the Atlantic.
I can see it now, landing in my mailbox. It would be saying, "Open the damned package. Not that side, THIS side..." :biggrin1::biggrin1::wink:

In my personal experience, men can be just as bad about explaining what they want as women. It's like they think they can just stick it in and the whole business will magically take care of itself without having to admit they might not be fountains of sex magnetics. Certainly it will get the job done, but if you want finesse, if you want excellence, you do need to communicate.

You are not using another person as a substitute for masturbation, you are RELATING. Both men and women have a lot to learn when they first begin loving relationships about how to make it better as a team, an association. And I do not think it's any harder to talk about for men than it is for women. It's just a cultural bias.

LOL, I remember many encounters of that precise nature (see bolded text above). However, none of them were more than that -- just encounters.
The LTR's I've had were better at communicating, thank goodness! I kinda had the idea it was a gender thing. Maybe not.

However, I do agree about the team thing.

---------------

Hey... just had an idea. I write for a living. Maybe I should practice writing "steamy stuff" to get more accustomed to communicating along the subject. at:

 

[helgaleena]

OH yes! :smile:

 

[B_curiousme01]

Well...Eve asked Adam if he wanted an apple and she became the epitomy of "sin." And, of course, it was all her fault that he ate it! Also, Mary, mother of Jesus, is protrayed is a prositute! How's that for a nice warm fuzzie? So, I would say that woman do not ask for the simple fact that throughout history, we have been blamed as the cause of all mankinds woes...all because of men not thinking with their "big head." Cover up and shut up are still alive and well in many countries. After all, it's only 2010...these things do take time. OP: I have never asked for what I really want(ed), but I am getting better. I really, really want to... I'm going through a major, secret sexual revolution at the moment and I think he might completely freak out at what could actually come out of my mouth, if I was brave enough to say it. I serioulsy doubt I will get there anytime soon. Besides, he gets other clues to go by..like my recent and constant VERY expensive lingerie shopping excursions. Not to mention my frequently recurring trips to the toy store-alone now as I am becoming braver. To all the men: woman like men who can read their body language. It's a female thingie . Call us sensitive or whatever. It would be helpful for you to learn our body language. It's not difficult if you use your "big head."

 

[dolfette]

I wish a little of your communication ability would leap across the Atlantic.
I can see it now, landing in my mailbox. It would be saying, "Open the damned package. Not that side, THIS side..." :biggrin1::biggrin1::wink:

something like that :tongue:

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Also, Mary, mother of Jesus, is protrayed is a prositute!

Really? Are you sure about that?

Of course, I don't know what 'protray' and 'prositute' mean, but I'm guessing you mean 'portrayed as a prostitute' - and that you are thinking of Mary Magdalene, who wasn't a prostitute either but a lot of people think she was.

 

[dolfette]

Really? Are you sure about that?

Of course, I don't know what 'protray' and 'prositute' mean, but I'm guessing you mean 'portrayed as a prostitute' - and that you are thinking of Mary Magdalene, who wasn't a prostitute either but a lot of people think she was.

mary is always portayed as a virgin...

how hoes virgin birth = prostitute

 

[Daisy]

I've never had a problem telling a man exactly what I want. I know that every body is unique and what may have worked on former girlfriends won't work on me. I just tell it like it is. Right down to "a little further down" or "more pressure". I don't believe in beating around the bush, I just tell him what I want!

 

[SilverTrain]

I don't believe in beating around the bush...

A shame.






:biggrin1:

 

[nicenycdick]

I am a man...and I am horrible about saying what I want. And I am pretty good at sensing what a woman wants. This is not simply a woman thing. Some of us ask easily and some of us intuit well. I've gotten better and all of us can learn new things. It's a good thing to talk about in any relationship...who is the giver, who is the receiver (that seems to go hand-in-hand with the asking/guessing dichotomy)...and to strive to make adjustments where necessary.

 

[Not_Punny]

Well...Eve asked Adam if he wanted an apple and she became the epitomy of "sin." And, of course, it was all her fault that he ate it! Also, Mary, mother of Jesus, is protrayed is a prositute! How's that for a nice warm fuzzie? So, I would say that woman do not ask for the simple fact that throughout history, we have been blamed as the cause of all mankinds woes...all because of men not thinking with their "big head." Cover up and shut up are still alive and well in many countries. After all, it's only 2010...these things do take time. OP: I have never asked for what I really want(ed), but I am getting better. I really, really want to... I'm going through a major, secret sexual revolution at the moment and I think he might completely freak out at what could actually come out of my mouth, if I was brave enough to say it. I serioulsy doubt I will get there anytime soon. Besides, he gets other clues to go by..like my recent and constant VERY expensive lingerie shopping excursions. Not to mention my frequently recurring trips to the toy store-alone now as I am becoming braver. To all the men: woman like men who can read their body language. It's a female thingie . Call us sensitive or whatever. It would be helpful for you to learn our body language. It's not difficult if you use your "big head."

Good for you on your secret sexual revolution! Exploration is the key to success. :wink:

I've never had a problem telling a man exactly what I want. I know that every body is unique and what may have worked on former girlfriends won't work on me. I just tell it like it is. Right down to "a little further down" or "more pressure". I don't believe in beating around the bush, I just tell him what I want!

LOL, love your double meaning there!

I am a man...and I am horrible about saying what I want. And I am pretty good at sensing what a woman wants. This is not simply a woman thing. Some of us ask easily and some of us intuit well. I've gotten better and all of us can learn new things. It's a good thing to talk about in any relationship...who is the giver, who is the receiver (that seems to go hand-in-hand with the asking/guessing dichotomy)...and to strive to make adjustments where necessary.

That makes you my twin! (I'm also bad at saying and good at intuiting)

- - - - - -

I wish someone would invent a telepathy machine so that we who lack the gift-of-the-gab could tape electrodes on our partner's brain... which would give new meaning to the term, strap-on. :biggrin1:

 

[Wish-4-8]

Really? Are you sure about that?

Of course, I don't know what 'protray' and 'prositute' mean, but I'm guessing you mean 'portrayed as a prostitute' - and that you are thinking of Mary Magdalene, who wasn't a prostitute either but a lot of people think she was.

mary is always portayed as a virgin...

how hoes virgin birth = prostitute

I think she means Mary Magdalene. Which BTW, was not a prostitute. The chruch made her out to be one.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Really? Are you sure about that?

Of course, I don't know what 'protray' and 'prositute' mean, but I'm guessing you mean 'portrayed as a prostitute' - and that you are thinking of Mary Magdalene, who wasn't a prostitute either but a lot of people think she was.

I think she means Mary Magdalene. Which BTW, was not a prostitute. The chruch made her out to be one.

Gee, thanks, Wish - if you hadn't told me I wouldn't have known. :tongue:

 

[Wish-4-8]

Gee, thanks, Wish - if you hadn't told me I wouldn't have known. :tongue:

Ummm... you have a moth on your mouth. :tongue:

 

[dolfette]

I think she means Mary Magdalene. Which BTW, was not a prostitute. The chruch made her out to be one.

well she dares to be equal with his male disciples.
burn her!

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Ummm... you have a moth on your mouth. :tongue:

That's the way I roll

 

[B_curiousme01]

Manly Banisters: Yep. My spelling is terrible and spell check key does not work. Thanks for cleaning it up for me

 

[Wish-4-8]

That's the way I roll

Originally, I was going to say, "Ummm... you have a moth on your face, can I swat it?"

But that would have been rude. :biggrin1:

 

[Wish-4-8]

well she dares to be equal with his male disciples.
burn her!

Few characters in the New Testament have been so sorely miscast as Mary Magdalene, whose reputation as a fallen woman originated not in the Bible but in a sixth-century sermon by Pope Gregory the Great. Not only is misidentified as the repentant prostitute of legend, meditating and levitating in a cave, but she was not necessarily even a notable sinner: Being possessed by "seven demons" that were exorcised by Jesus, she was arguably more victim than sinner. And the idea, popularized by The Da Vinci Code, that Mary was Jesus' wife and bore his child, while not totally disprovable, is the longest of long shots.

– U.S. News and World Report[51]

I will get the matches. :tongue:

 

[EllieP]

Why try? My husband doesn't listen to me anyway! He even tells me as much.

"Darling, did you remember about tonight?"

"What about tonight?"

"I told you on Saturday about tonight, about going to Ian's."

"You know I never listen to you."

It sounds funny, but that's not a made up conversation. And it happens often. So if he doesn't listen to me when I'm talking to him face-to-face, what would make me think he's listening to me while making love.

I listen to him when we're passionate. But all I can hear is "touch my dick, touch my dick!"

Sorry for being so blunt. Age old problem. No solutions here.