Hey, straight guys -- do you feel weird coming here too?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_henry miller, Mar 9, 2008.

  1. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Big Sur, California
    I'm watching the movie "Without a Paddle" as I type this. This movie actually made me decide to post about this topic, because this movie (unintentionally) hits on how ambiguous male relationships tend to be. Funny, but just now as I type this, the guys in the movie are contemplating lying together to keep warm.

    Anyway, must admit that I never visit this site without feeling just a little insecure. It's so weird to be male because others, and often you yourself, think that if you have any interest in what is essentially your own body then you are not a real man.

    Oh. Blah blah blah.... my question is really simple: do other self-identified straight guys feel a little weird coming here?

    For me, I think one reason I feel weird is that, I don't know, there's a sense that you're not supposed to objectify other men, that it's sort of a form of brotherly blasphemy, or something. You can empathize with other man's pain, but you aren't supposed to be a loser who envies another man's penis. On one hand, I like hearing about what guys with big penises experience, etc. On the other hand, there's this strange ambiguous sense of violation, that I'm objectifying another male -- which sort of sickens me.

    Does this make any sense to anyone, or have I just lost my mind? (Seriously. I'm asking. I should probably be committed.)
     
  2. _avg_

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2007
    Messages:
    1,704
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Yes.

    I came here thinking that, as a "support" site, it might be a good place to meet local singles. I quickly realized how foolish that was. But soon I found the community was warm and intelligent, and much more respectful and engaging than other sites I've been to. So I've stuck around.

    For me, the "weirdness" is mostly that -- as is commonly seen around here -- I'm certain that no one would accept that I participate on this (and another) penis site and yet derive no (sexual) pleasure from looking at men. I'm pretty open about everything, even my pornography, but I hide this from others because, for me, I think they'd find it just too weird to accept.
     
  3. B_Demention

    B_Demention New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2008
    Messages:
    589
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Nah, I'm having fun on here. I can identify and laugh with the other straight guys and get some banter going with regards to like-minded issues, get some great feedback and a whole new perspective on things from the gay guys, and talk to some awesome, sexual, openminded women. I want to pay the latter a compliment, by the way. It can't always be easy staying civil and level headed in the midst of this meatmarket. I'm sure they deal with a hundred PMs a day along the lines of "nice shoes, wanna fuck?" and yet they still manage to keep it together and not become completely embittered and man-hating. Maybe a couple more years on here will do that though, haha.
     
  4. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I'm watching the movie "Without a Paddle" as I type this. This movie actually made me decide to post about this topic, because this movie (unintentionally) hits on how ambiguous male relationships tend to be. Funny, but just now as I type this, the guys in the movie are contemplating lying together to keep warm.

    Anyway, must admit that I never visit this site without feeling just a little insecure. It's so weird to be male because others, and often you yourself, think that if you have any interest in what is essentially your own body then you are not a real man.

    INVISIBLEMAN quotes...

    "I HAVE NEVER MET a man who didn’t feel uneasy about masculinity, who didn’t feel that in some way he wasn’t living up to what it meant to be a man. There’s a reason for that: Masculinity is a fraud; it’s a trap. None of us are man enough."
    Robert Jensen, writer, Clamor (Sept./Oct. 2002)

    Oh. Blah blah blah.... my question is really simple: do other self-identified straight guys feel a little weird coming here?

    The real questions should be: Why should you feel weird coming to LPSG? It is the internet. I find LPSG a pretty cool place...that is if you aren't into creating a lot of drama on here. There is no place on the planet I know that people talk about many various topics other than the big dicks. I think that is a great thing. As a gay man who isn't into fishing for straight guys, I am really cool about my straight brethren. :smile:

    I think that there are many times in many men's lives men have felt weird. Life isn't very specific...there are a lot of abstracts and mysteries. Weirdness is a given. Humans behave weird...expect to feel and be weird.

    For me, I think one reason I feel weird is that, I don't know, there's a sense that you're not supposed to objectify other men, that it's sort of a form of brotherly blasphemy, or something. You can empathize with other man's pain, but you aren't supposed to be a loser who envies another man's penis. On one hand, I like hearing about what guys with big penises experience, etc. On the other hand, there's this strange ambiguous sense of violation, that I'm objectifying another male -- which sort of sickens me.

    Maybe you feel that way based on how you were raised. In order to feel less weird, you have to come to terms with why--the reasons behind your feelings. Why do you feel that you are a loser because you envy another man's penis? I don't feel bad. I am just as good as any other man. There are men out there bigger. Why should I be dissatisfied with what I got because some men are a lot bigger than I? What is wrong with objectification of men?
    I can appreciate the handsomeness...the sexual appeal of men.

    Does this make any sense to anyone, or have I just lost my mind? (Seriously. I'm asking. I should probably be committed.)

    No, I do not believe you are weird. Maybe you feel awkward because of the way you were raised. I feel men really molded because what is supposed to acceptable behavior for a man to be acting. You should ask yourself the reasons why you feel weird coming to LPSG. And coming to LPSG is not a reason to be committed. Hehehe. :smile:
     
  5. bigrider

    bigrider Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2008
    Messages:
    369
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Lancaster (PA, US)
    i feel fine coming here its fun
     
  6. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Big Sur, California
    That's exactly where I'm coming from. I would never mention this site to anyone else. And then a part of me thinks, "If I would never mention this site to anyone else, then there must really be something weird about me coming here."

    Funny parallel. In the movie Without a Paddle while the guys are huddling together for warmth, to keep from freezing to death, one of them says, "This never leaves the cave!" That's sort of how this forum is for me. What's said here, stays here. I remember hearing a similar statement somewhere, that what goes on in the locker room stays in the locker room.
     
  7. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Big Sur, California
    Well ... the question was specifically addressed to straight men. But the quote is interesting nonetheless.

     
  8. HaagenDazs

    HaagenDazs New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2007
    Messages:
    582
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    No. I dont mind dudes seeing my dick or their comments. Just as long as they know they dont stand a snowball's chance in hell of getting it.
     
  9. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Big Sur, California
    But the question was more directed toward: "Are you comfortable seeing other men, etc.?" Thanks. :cool:
     
  10. sleazeball666

    sleazeball666 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2008
    Messages:
    192
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pa
    quoted for truth..my feelings exactly..
    and as far as the looking at other mens penis..i mainly check out the chicks galleries ..only ever really look at the guys galleries if its claimed something abnormal as in abnormally large..abnormally small..abnormal shape..out of interest because here i have truly learned dicks come in all shapes and sizes..the only other time is if somebody is my size(7.5x5.5) i check it out to see how it looks compared to mine..mainly tho i like reading the posts
     
  11. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Sorry for breaking the rules...:rolleyes:

    Yeah, I know that the question was "specifically" addressed to "straight" men :rolleyes: ...but I thought that maybe there may be men--generally--but not limited to "straight" men could benefit from an alternate view. Every man faces moments of weirdness.

    And because you aren't free to mention this website to your friends and family, doesn't make you weird. Unless your family is weird like we all are and can deal with everyone else's weirdness.
     
  12. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Big Sur, California
    It kind of goes without saying that since you're gay you won't be as threatened by seeing other men naked, and them seeing you naked, as some straight men may be.

     
  13. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Big Sur, California
    It does get to a point where you seen-one-you-seen-em-all. However, it's really weird, but when a guy makes a strong point, is really strong on his opinion, I often find myself clicking on his gallery to take a look at what he's got. It's sort of a subconscious way of seeing if he's got enough cock to back up his strong posturing. lol. :biggrin1: Pretty neurotic, I know.
     
  14. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina

    That is a great thing. Everyone doesn't get what they want in life, love, liberty and in the pursuit of happiness. This is a truism. Everything we perceive as attractive isn't necessarily right for us. Another truism.

    We are attracted to whomever for whatever the reason. Because we like what we see, doesn't mean that we have carte blanche and we can do whatever and however we choose. We do not possess them.

    For example: Hey, I like Matt Damon. Michael C. Hall. Henry Rollins. And Ben Affleck. These guys are straight. I am not trying to run a cock in their asses. Or pick out china patterns. Or discussing gay marriage with any of them or anything. :biggrin1:
     
  15. mattyacht

    mattyacht New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northwest
    Henry Miller,

    Somewhere along the line someone fed you the John Wayne philosophy that men aren't supposed to envy (a universal human emotion). Men aren't supposed to be aware of any competition tiny dick or huge dick. Just be pussy, pussy, pussy minded. What you are actually experiencing in here is a true discovery of your human condition. These unrealistic philosophies will drive you to seek the truth when you find yourself falling short of them. The cold hard truth is that men, straight or gay, compare and admire when they see a fine specimen of humanity. I hope this helps.
     
  16. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Big Sur, California
    Thanks. What you say is true. However, I'll add that no one "fed" me this idea. I either picked it up somewhere along the lines, or it is simply inborn in a man.

    Look. It's probably just etched into the (straight) male psyche that we men want to have the biggest dick, the most money, fastest and best looking sports car, and hot blonde in the prime of her life. Or a variation of this. Maybe some guys prefer redheads or something. Whatever the case, masculinity is often about being the best and the biggest. Being in awe of another guy's big cock means admitting that it's bigger than your own, and that hurts the male ego, I suppose. :rolleyes:

     
  17. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina

    That is true. Maybe some straight men are taught by the friends and family how they should feel...instead of feeling for themselves. Behavioral conditioning. Maybe it is homophobia. Who knows.

    Then if it is a problem straight guys not being able to handle the come ons by gay men via chat and PM. You can always say "Thanks for the compliments...but I love women. I am not into guys." That is sufficient.
    But sometimes some gay guys need extra convincing though. You keep on saying it. Proving it.
     
  18. mattyacht

    mattyacht New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northwest
    Henry,

    No one in particular fed it to you. It's in the media, advertisement, porn, elementary, junior high, high school, and college attitudes, not to mention th environment you grew up in. It was indirectly and subliminally built into your psyche. Another truth is, men crave affirmation of their masculinity from other men and not so much from women.
     
  19. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Big Sur, California
    I'm just a neurotic mess, I think. Part of me feels the average straight male awkwardness of it all. And then another part of me feels so idiotic to feel that. Look. I know it's illogical to feel threatened by any of this. I'm just being honest. I sometimes wonder if these other guys who come here and go "I'm fine with it" are just trying to sound like highly evolved Renaissance Men. Thanks, though.
     
  20. Mr. Snakey

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2006
    Messages:
    24,702
    Likes Received:
    25
    Wayne(a.k.a Jane) County - Are you man enough to be a woman?
     
Draft saved Draft deleted