hey, stumped as what to do

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by snake12, Feb 17, 2008.

  1. snake12

    snake12 New Member

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    hey, im new here this is my first thread. lim not a snake or anywhere near 12 for those who may ask. im gay(but not out) im a server at work and there is this new girl(she has worked there for 3 weeks now) at work who has looked at me wierd since the day she got there, and asked me if i wanted to hang out and have dinner with her(3days in advance), a day before we go have lunch and hang out she asks me if im gay, i said no and feel bad for lieing to her(shes first person to ask me if im gay, im sure close friends/family know but will probley never ask) im still going out for lunch with her, probley hang out all day. what if she makes a move on me? i dont know what to do i dont wanna sound to mean if i do out myself to her(which i most likely wont) so, what to do(if she makes a move on me?)
     
  2. guyface

    guyface New Member

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    Some ideas:

    1. Just tell her you are gay (you could ask her to promise not to tell).

    2. Tell her you already have a girlfriend, long distance. (probably a dumb idea...)

    3. Let her make a move on you. Who knows, you might like it. (probably a dumb idea, haha...)


    ------------------
    Well I hope that wasn't completely retarded...
     
  3. Mr. Bungle

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    I'd just tell her the truth, that you're gay - there's no reason lying to her. If she's already asked that you're gay, that means something's tipped her off, and if you tell her, she won't be that surprised. If you're worried about telling her and it possibly be getting back to your friends and family, I wouldn't worry about that. Just tell her the truth, be yourself, and everything'll be fine.
     
  4. snake12

    snake12 New Member

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    yea i wanted to tell the truth just hard be real with myself and stop trying to hide it :(
     
  5. blackxrobedxone

    blackxrobedxone New Member

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    Hey Snake12,

    I agree with Mr. Bungle, Tell her, she's guessed pretty much that you are. She's just waiting for you to say it. I'd say she still would have doubts. Maybe post a pic and people here will let you know if you have the gay "vibe" or not.

    Anyway, tell her, if she tells anyone you know call her a liar and say that you had sex with her and that she's not happy cause you don't want to see her anymore.

    There is always that excuse. If she is cool with it, then that's good, if not, well you wont lose anymore sleep over working it out.

    Take the plunge!

    Hope it heaps! :)
     
  6. snake12

    snake12 New Member

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    pics soon :p
     
  7. zp28

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    Hi and Welcome! I agree with the other guys. Just tell her the truth
     
  8. biguy_ondl

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    I think it's out of the ordinary for someone to ask, "are you gay?" Most likely she has had a relative or close relationship with a gay person and has picked up on some similar traits.

    Do you think she wants to be intimate? She may not ever want to take your relationship that far. I'd wait until that threshold is crossed before I'd say anything. It may happen that you would never have say anything.
     
  9. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    She's got good gaydar or you're bad at hiding it. Allow her to make the advance and then it looks bad on you when you react negatively to her advances. Maybe it might open another side to you.. probably not though. I'd say just be honest with yourself and with her, over lunch or whatever just say look "I haven't told anyone yet, but yes I do believe I'm gay". She's probably already figured out you're hiding it, perhaps she still be a good friend for you through the coming out process.
     
  10. Brendnj

    Brendnj New Member

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    She's already onto you. Chances are a day of spending casual time together will enforce her initial thought. Just build the courage and tell her. It feels monumentally better in the long run.
     
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