Hickboy's Advice for the Lovelorn Wanderer

[B_Hickboy]

What do I need to know in order to operate a successful advice thread?

Nothing, really. You just have to be a people person. Like me.

 

[lafever]

What do I need to know in order to operate a successful advice thread?

You have to know how to use velcro.

 

[B_Hickboy]

You have to know how to use velcro.

Fuck off and get your own fucking advice thread, mister.

 

[Calboner]

Nothing, really. You just have to be a people person. Like me.

Shit. I'm out.

 

[798686]

Yes. Bring the keyboard over, along with a six of Bass Ale.

Running a dual-boot system?

Sounds good to me.

And dunno about the dual-boot thing? The key fell off my laptop when I got a crisp stuck under it.

 

[B_Hickboy]

Damn fine taters they make those things from these days.

 

[798686]

Worth losin' a key for.

 

[B_Hickboy]

If all is not lost, where is it?

Is that one of those questions that's rigged to make you look smart? If it is, it didn't work.

Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

Technically, no. But I have a problem with that particular compound word. Usually what people refer to as smart-ass behavior is actually dumb-ass behavior.

You know how most packages say "Open here".
What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Follow the fucking instructions.

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes,
why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

It wouldn't help. The idea is not so much to get the plane back on the ground in one piece as it is to get the passengers back on the ground safe. If an indestructible plane hit the ground at 600 mph it would probably liquefy everyone inside it, killing all of them in the process.

Anyway, if you built a plane out of material that stout it probably would be too heavy to fly.

If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

In case they see you coming.

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Bluer.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Both, and most likely dead too.

 

[Calboner]

If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

In case they see you coming.

:rofl:

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

1) Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

2) If 'between you and me, something smells' is the answer, what is the question?

3) Can a short person 'talk down' to a taller person?

4) How would you know when you were out of invisible ink?

 

[Calboner]

Some people seem to get offended when I point out to them how stupid they are. What do you think I should do about this?

 

[798686]

Some people seem to get offended when I point out to them how stupid they are. What do you think I should do about this?

Give them a slap too, for being impertinent.

 

[B_Hickboy]

1) Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

It does.

2) If 'between you and me, something smells' is the answer, what is the question?

Was that you?

3) Can a short person 'talk down' to a taller person?

Yes, because it's not about physical height.

4) How would you know when you were out of invisible ink?

There is no such thing as invisible ink. All inks are visible as they are applied, and are rendered invisible after the writing has been done.

 

[B_Hickboy]

Some people seem to get offended when I point out to them how stupid they are. What do you think I should do about this?

Don't point out that they're stupid, unless you're deliberately trying to offend them.

 

[B_Hickboy]

Give them a slap too, for being impertinent.

Do you see your name anywhere in the title of this thread? Fuck off.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

1) Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

It does.

Huh?

2) If 'between you and me, something smells' is the answer, what is the question?

Was that you?

Yes, if I'm your left ... or right ... eyeball, and you're my example of symmetry.
(But who nose?)

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

I swear, I don't know what I'd do without the gentle, MENTAL wisdom of Sir Hick boy.

 

[deleted3782]

If you can fool some of the people all the time, and all of the people some of the time...why can't you fool all of the people all of the time?

 

[B_Hickboy]

If you can fool some of the people all the time, and all of the people some of the time...why can't you fool all of the people all of the time?

There are too many of us.

 

[Calboner]

My shit stinks. Why is that?

Edited to add: I changed my mind. My shit doesn't stink.