Hiding ur interest in other men

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dotball, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. dotball

    dotball Member

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    I would really like to know how many guys here are secretly curious or secretly onto other men?
    Like me - I'm married but have a strong like for M2M action and really like the look of a naked guy and have no problem sleeping with my best mate. But it's all so secretive and I tell no one, including my friends about my feeling in fear of being "outed".
    So how many other guys come here to release their gay side, perve on pics and read stories of wishful thinking, only to return to a pseudo betrothed reality?
    I keep my urges private to protect others, that's all. I strongly believe that most guys, however straight they appear, are interested or at least ok with being with another guy. There's some stat that 1 in 5 guys are openly gay and 60% of all males have experienced a M2M sexual encounter between the ages of 18 and 40.
     
  2. Charles Finn

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    I have always been open about my bisexuality
    I prefer guys but I like some women too
    but I prefer to be with guys
    I have never been with a woman like that
    I have fucked a few way back when but I have always tried to stay true to who and what i am
     
  3. SeeDickRun

    SeeDickRun New Member

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    I spent years being "curious", and it took a long time (aside from Jr. High and a little college time) to reach the point of acting on it. But, once done, there was no turning back!
     
  4. maxcok

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    A whole lot more than will admit it, even anonymously. I know, weird.

    I don't understand why someone who self-identifies as 80% gay would continue the facade of a straight marriage and have a secret sex life.

    I think you're rationalizing. I don't think anybody benefits from that.
     
    #4 maxcok, Jan 27, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2011
  5. Charles Finn

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    if it works for him then so be it but having been the other man sooner or later he will find a guy he wants to be with
     
  6. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    Yeah once you have kids it is not about you anymore.
     
  7. maxcok

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    He didn't say he had children. Even if that's the case, I've known many men who used this rationalization for years. There was always a tension in the family over something felt, if not spoken, and it caused damage. Typically there was a lot of resentment when the secrets finally came out, as they inevitably do, and even more resentment for the lies.

    The majority of people get divorced in this country for some reason or other. Children are resilient, and they will survive and adapt - if the parents make it clear that they love them, if they behave like adults with each other, and if they are honest. Staying together "for the sake of the children" is rarely a valid reason, imho. I am in favor of leading an honest life, allowing people to come to grips with reality and moving positively forward.
     
    #7 maxcok, Jan 27, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2011
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  8. dotball

    dotball Member

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    Thank u so much extessy - one of the few who got exactly the point. I've made my bed and now am responsible for other's lives so maintaining the facade to help them be decent adults.
     
  9. dotball

    dotball Member

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    Yes. There are kids involved. Tooooo many kids go off the rails in single parent families am I'm the first to begrudge these ferals, so I'm doing what I can to prevent it.
    I assume by posts so far there are none in a similar situation. All guys here are either single or in a gay relationship - none are hiding their sexuality? I don't believe that onthe only one.
     
  10. killerb

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    I'd never put myself in that position.
     
  11. dotball

    dotball Member

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    That's so easy to say in this day and age. And is so dependent on ur up bringing. I felt regardless how I felt, that I had to confirm to societiy's expectations and was not fortunate enough to be a youth amongst today's understanding and accepting peers.
     
  12. killerb

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    I was only speaking for myself. I've never been one who felt the need to conform to anyone's expectations.

    Also, I have a friend who is about to put himself in the same situation you are in, so it has little to do with the day & age. He's planning to get married in a few months but he is carrying on a secret relationship with another man (or men, maybe). He felt, like you, that he "should" get married and have a family.

    Terrible way to live, in my opinion. I wish you the best.
     
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  13. dotball

    dotball Member

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    I'm enjoying hearing everyone's thoughts, and would like to hear more about the original topic - how many guys visit here for their secret gay fix. How many guys are in hetro relationships yet are ok with the M2M thing?

    Killerb, thnx for that. I appreciate what ur saying.
    Today's youth though, are so accepting when it comes to homosexuality.
     
  14. voodoo2

    voodoo2 Member

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    I am.married and keep it a secret ,, I like to look at other men
     
  15. BigMike1955

    BigMike1955 New Member

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    Dotball, you're not the only one by a long shot!

    I'm now in 34 years of marriage to a woman, have two daughters in their twenties, and totally get why you've stayed married for the the well-being of others.
     
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  16. dotball

    dotball Member

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    Thanx guys. I'm sure those with kids will know it's not just a saying that kids turn ur world upside down - they really do change ur entire perspective on life and obligations, but every human is susceptible to primal urges, in all their forms.
     
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  17. EmJay

    EmJay New Member

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    Yes I would want him to split, respect my mom and his own feelings, love me for what I am and provide me with all the help possible to deal with the separation. Because in the end I want nothing more than my parents to be happy. And no matter how hard it is as a child..I will survive..many have..and I will too!!

    I'm sorry don't use children as an excuse to do this. If you want to hide your true self do it as a single man. But the constitution of marriage deserves a whole lot more than someone who deceives the one he so called 'loves'.

    I have no respect for this at all!!!

    In fact it actually sickens me how you can all have a *you go boy*..kind of attiude praising him for staying with the family. Djeez..
     
    #17 EmJay, Jan 28, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2011
  18. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    I feel the same way EmJay. And if I was the wife, I would rather my husband be happy. If he wants to be with men, be with men. Not live a lie. I just think this guys wife deserves a man that puts her above all other sexual partners unless she is in agreement with this situation. The reason why he doesn't want to tell her is that his wife would probably make him choose and that isn't what he wants.
     
  19. AZZAWA

    AZZAWA Member

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    I am with you girls on this. Don't use the kids as an excuse. Kids from divorced parents are not the only kids that go "off the rails"
     
  20. HakaiToson

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    [raising hand] Meee!!!!!!!!! :smile:
     
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