Hiding ur interest in other men

moosejones

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^ love this. ..

guys, be honest...

does that mean you need to "come out" to your whole community, or suddenly start dressing in drag & flying rainbow flags everywhere? NO

Sadly, I think the main reason so many guys are afraid to be honest about their attraction to other men is the fear that they will be seen as a bunch of nelly queens - not only is it short-sighted, it's pretty damn silly.

Not all gay men are the same - they're individuals just like everyone else....

just be honest with the one you claimk it to love...it's nobody else's business...your woman deserves it and so do you...that is all.

Thanks, I dont dress in drag, fly a rainbow flag or like nelly queens. I live more of a straight life because thats who I am and what I like. I am also a biker that rides with a club and builds custom motorcycles but it dosent mean I am some kind of bad ass biker even if I look it, its just who I am
 

B_thickjohnny

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I was dating women for years and lived with one for 4 years but knew of my desires for men. While we slept together and had great sex, I'd go to the gym and have sex in the showers or steam room, or go off with a guy for sex (defined as jerking off or BJ not anal sex). She wanted to get married and I would have loved to have had kids but I knew inside that eventually it would go tits up. I didn't want to do that to her or kids.
 
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helgaleena

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I was dating women for years and lived with one for 4 years but knew of my desires for men. While we slept together and had great sex, I'd go to the gym and have sex in the showers or steam room, or go off with a guy for sex (defined as jerking off or BJ not anal sex). She wanted to get married and I would have loved to have had kids but I knew inside that eventually it would go tits up. I didn't want to do that to her or kids.

Why did you think that johnny? Did you ever confess to her that she was not enough? Did you ever think she might have managed to be okay with the situation?

Lots of married people agree to have men and women on the side, right up front. Unless she was especially possessive, and expected monogamy to be strict, you will never know.
 
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D_Harry Erik Shun

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There are many guys that proclaim to be straight while with family and friends or in the workplace; yet at the same time are active in male to male relations on the down low.

At most glory holes and tea rooms you find bi married guys looking for anonymous sex. Usually frequenting these places on their way to work or on their way home from work.

I suspect that some of these guys would never admit to being bi, let alone to being gay.
They return home after their liaison to the role of straight husband and father, always hoping that no one ever finds out.

The fear of being discovered is ever present and helps feed the lie.

I don't cast stones, we all have our secrets and our reasons for keeping them secret from family and friends. If this secret life you live is burning a whole in your heart; only you can apply the ointment.
 
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I went through this. I left my wife, tried the gay life for three years and realized the reality of it wasn't like the fantasy. Men are kind of like espresso, ok once in a while but not something I want every day. A relationship with a woman is very different and more enjoyable. As I get older, sex with men is less appealling. Most older men just aren't as hot as they were in their 20s or 30s. Any way after my foray into exclusively gay life I realized I'm bi. I settled down with a woman and had a kid and a mortgage and it's fine. I'm still attracted to handsome men, but I'm in what I want. I understand about the children impacting your choices. Always wear a condom and do your best, that's all any of us can do.

OK, I'm going to resurrect this dead thread because this is a topic that has been on my mind for awhile now. I agree so much with what the poster above has said. From what I have been reading on this thread and other threads about this topic, it seems that people are saying if you're on the DL or considering it, you should just throw away your marriage, ruin your kids life, and cause financial devestation for yourself and your family (which divorce always results in and women usually get the short end of the stick - my mother included). I was a child of divorce (father cheating with other women), and I can tell you that their divorce fucked up me when I was younger, and even more so my brother and sister to the point that they still have dysfunctional lives to this very day from it. My sister ended up getting divorced later in life and it fucked up her 2 sons good and plenty. Anyone who says divorce doesn't impact the kids, or that the kids will support their parents decision to divorce so their parent can be their true selves doesn't really have a clue.

What if you try the DL lifestyle for awhile only to discover that it's not what you imagined it to be? Taking drastic action such as ending your marriage, hurting the ones you love and devestating your finances only to find out that you preferred what you had before is IMO irresponsible, selfish, reckless, and would be impossible to recover from. It is possible to be in love with your wife (like I am), but still feel a physical need to be with other men. There really are some itches that a woman cannot scratch. Does this mean that I am gay and should just throw away what has taken us 16 years to build up simply because I want to explore another aspect of my sexuality? Of course not! We do not have kids (by choice), but maybe the other guy does. Would I expect him to end his marriage, destroy his kids, ruin his finances and move into an apartment in the gay village with me simply because he had some urges that his wife couldn't satisfy? Of course not! We all have responsibilities from choices that we made earlier in life that we can't just walk away from because we want to explore a different aspect of our sexuality. Things in life change.

I haven't actually done anything on the DL yet, but if I did, I would be safe. I would never hook up with some random guy over the internet. It would have to be with someone I am attracted to, know, trust to be discreet, and someone I know is disease free. In other words, not just any cock would do. For all I know, I might try it once and find out that it's not for me. Just imagine if I trashed my marriage first to find this out.

This is not an uncommon feeling to have. There are lots of guys who love their straight life, but feel the sexual urge to be with men from time to time.

Ashley Madison - We Know Down Low Male Discreet Affair Partners

I don't think they should be judged so harshly for it. Just because they want to explore another aspect of their sexuality by experimenting or having occassional sex with men doesn't make them gay. Isn't that what all of this percentage stuff is about on this website? I do remember studying sexuality in physchology class when in university. There are very few people who are 100% straight or 100% gay whether they want to admit it or not. Live the lifestyle that you identify with the most. No one has to be exclusively straight or gay as far as I'm concerned, just happy and doing what suits them. Being that I identify mostly as straight, that is the lifestyle I live. This doesn't mean though that I am actually 100% straight. If I was, then the thought of sex with another man wouldn't even cross my mind, but it does, and that's all there is to it. As much as I wish it didn't even enter my head, there is nothing I can do about it, so it is what it is.
 
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sonicyouth3

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In a gay bath house, you'd be surprised as to how many married men with kids are there. Sometimes there are more of these men than your regular, milquetoast gay men. Very fascinating topic. Societal pressure to get married and maintain a family is still very strong.
 
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I dont think divorce is always wrong, I think divorce can save some family actually, even if it's painful.
I have a couple of neighbours, I hear her scream and cry 2 or 3 times a week (and I am not always home, cause I work in another place) and I bet all I got in my wallet that it's not healthy for the daughter (she is around 11), not to mention the husband and wife (I think he sleeps with another woman, that's why she screams so much).

Different situations are possible.
Maybe I am a romantic, but I think that if you dont love your wife anymore, you cheat, you lie, you shouldn't be with her.
If you still love her, you got the need to fuck men, you know your wife could never agree, it's complicated.
Imagine to found out your wife cheated on you, cause she got this need to fuck other women, even if she loves you. How does it make you feel? Do you have in mind the question "why she didn't tell the truth before cheating"?
If you love your wife, but you are curious, and you like to see pics and videos of guys on internet, it is a lighter situation. You are not a cheater, and probably you dont have a moral obligation to tell what you do to your wife. But can you imagine how beautiful could be if you could share this part of your life too with her?
 
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In a gay bath house, you'd be surprised as to how many married men with kids are there. Sometimes there are more of these men than your regular, milquetoast gay men. Very fascinating topic. Societal pressure to get married and maintain a family is still very strong.

I'm starting to realize how common this is among married men. I think once you reach a certain point in your life, you start to lower those walls you put up to hide your feelings. I was shopping the other week and there was another young couple in the same aisle as me. I saw the guy checking me out a few time even though he was with his girl.

I agree that societal pressure is still very strong to be exclusively in a heterosexual relationship, and to deny any feelings for other men. Gay marriage is legal in my country, but homophobia and hate crimes related to homosexuality are still common.
 
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I dont think divorce is always wrong, I think divorce can save some family actually, even if it's painful.
I have a couple of neighbours, I hear her scream and cry 2 or 3 times a week (and I am not always home, cause I work in another place) and I bet all I got in my wallet that it's not healthy for the daughter (she is around 11), not to mention the husband and wife (I think he sleeps with another woman, that's why she screams so much).

Different situations are possible.
Maybe I am a romantic, but I think that if you dont love your wife anymore, you cheat, you lie, you shouldn't be with her.
If you still love her, you got the need to fuck men, you know your wife could never agree, it's complicated.
Imagine to found out your wife cheated on you, cause she got this need to fuck other women, even if she loves you. How does it make you feel? Do you have in mind the question "why she didn't tell the truth before cheating"?
If you love your wife, but you are curious, and you like to see pics and videos of guys on internet, it is a lighter situation. You are not a cheater, and probably you dont have a moral obligation to tell what you do to your wife. But can you imagine how beautiful could be if you could share this part of your life too with her?

I agree that if you are constantly fighting and there are kids involved, it is better to divorce. However, that is not the case for me. My wife and I almost never fight, and when we do, we don't yell, we just disagree. As I mentioned before, we don't have kids. My wife and I actually have a great marriage, so these feelings I have are nothing to do with her or our marriage. I have always been curious about being with another guy, but pushed those feelings deep down because when I was younger, attitudes were very different. As you get older though, you start to care less about what others think, and there has been a major shift in society's attitude. While not perfect, there is more tolerance and acceptance today than there was in the past. I know for a fact that I couldn't ever make it a lifestyle for me because I cannot relate to men on an emotional level. After having male room mates and traveling extensively with buddies in the past, I know that I couldn't be with men exclusively on a continuous basis. This is purely a physical thing only for me.

I have thought about how I would react to my wife being with another woman. To be completely honest, I would be fine with it if it was an aspect of her sexuality that she wanted to explore. I would rather she did that to see if it suited her rather than toss our marriage away only to find out that it wasn't what she thought. I would actually be more upset if it was with another guy because she has that aspect of her sexuality hopefully satisfied by me, so there would be no excuse for it. I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in being with another woman because that aspect of my sexuality is satisfied by my wife. As I mentioned before, this is something that can never be satisfied by any woman because it's an itch that they just can't scratch.
 
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SkySkin77

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I have thought about how I would react to my wife being with another woman. To be completely honest, I would be fine with it if it was an aspect of her sexuality that she wanted to explore.
Yes, but you have to understand that cause you got those feelings for men, you wouldn't disagree to your wife exploring homosexuality, cause that will just make you two equal.
That's why I was asking if you could see yourself wonderin "why she didnt told me that before cheating", it's something you can relate to, maybe.
I know you dont see cheatin with a man or a woman as the same thing, but you have to understand that a lot of str8 men and women think it's the same damn thing and cheating is cheating, and maybe your wife is one of them.
 

invisibleman

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I have met (INFO: just friends not lovers) about four guys online who are married. I have met another guy (who lives in my locale) who I thought was gay and single but is REALLY married to a woman...but he has some strong M2M feelings towards me. (I found out that he was married from his wife.:eek: (She didn't kill me. Her hubby never wore a wedding band indicating so. Apparently they have an understanding.) But I didn't mess with him. I would've felt bad if we did and I found out that he was married after the fact. I should've known better because he is REALLY attractive.


I avoid straight men and those down low "straight" guys because it is less stress and I don't get any issues.
 
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Yes, but you have to understand that cause you got those feelings for men, you wouldn't disagree to your wife exploring homosexuality, cause that will just make you two equal.
That's why I was asking if you could see yourself wonderin "why she didnt told me that before cheating", it's something you can relate to, maybe.
I know you dont see cheatin with a man or a woman as the same thing, but you have to understand that a lot of str8 men and women think it's the same damn thing and cheating is cheating, and maybe your wife is one of them.

Well, that's YOUR opinion. Obviously you have an issue with it, so it's not for you. I have already had quite a few married guys PM me about going through this. You can sit in judgment all you want, but remember "judge not lest ye be judged". I could sit in judgement of you for being 99% gay which I assume means that you don't have any heterosexual relations with women at all. Homosexuality is still considered immoral, deviant, and a mortal sin among all world religions, and outlawed and punishable by death in some countries. Is that sound I hear you falling off your high horse? :rolleyes:
 
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amadordelsexo

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THE FIRST POINT OF VIEW TO CONSIDER IS THAT THIS WORLD OWN TO STRAIGHT PEOPLE (BOTH FEMALE AND MALE)
OF COURSE IF ANYBODY VISIT AN SPECIFIC MEETING CLUB ALL IS OK
BUT CANT HE CANT LIVE THERE WHOLE LIFE
IN OTHER HAND ARE DIFFERENT CURIOSITY LEVEL OR GRADES.
AND WE MUST BE CLEAR ,IT IS AN ILLNESS
THIS ILLNESS HAVE DIFFERENT ORIGEN
ONE IS GENETIC ,OTHER MENTAL,
OTHER SOME deficiency ,OTHER DUE PHISYCAL SEXUAL ORGAN DEFFECT ECT
IN OTHER HAND ARE OTHER THAT LOVE MALE AS BRIDE
OTHER ONLY FOR A WHILE AND ALSO LIKE WHOLE MALE BODY (PROPER OF FEMALE)
AND OTHER LIKE SPECIFIC MALE BODY PART
AS SAMPLE SOMEONE LIKE BICEP MUSCLE DUE THEY OWN PITY BICEPS ECTC
IN SUCH CASE IF IT IS IKPORTANT WITH DRUG FORMULA AND EXCERCICE CAN GET GOOD MUSCLE
BUT ARE OTHER THAT CANT GROW
AND ITS SERIOUS PROBLEM IF GROWMENT IS CONSIDER IKPORTN
 

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I am sorry to hear that
I was not judgin you or anybody, just tryin to make you think. I am not perfect and I really cant judge anybody. Maybe I just wasn't able to explain my point of view Idk.

You know, people that judge homosexuality the way you colorful described is just right as kkk. I dont have an horse, not even a pony.
 

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@ Sonicyouth. Um, did you say milquetoast gay men? How fucking dare you, under the circumstances! Maybe you should say "outright gay heroes" vs "pretend-straight liars and cowards".

Fuck. Internal homophobia much. Yeah, ain't gonna stand for that.
 

auspoz

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How any of you can live with yourselves while betraying a woman's trust I do not know. Rationalise it how you want, YOU are USING another human. Usually you lot say "it's about who you're with". Yeah right. After years meeting married men I can say in all confidence: if you're fucking guys, you're a liar and fraud. She DOESN'T know and IS NOT ok with it, and NO! I'm not gonna help you feel ok about your narcissistic self at all. Suck it up, princess! (Had this happen too many times to me).
 
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How any of you can live with yourselves while betraying a woman's trust I do not know. Rationalise it how you want, YOU are USING another human. Usually you lot say "it's about who you're with". Yeah right. After years meeting married men I can say in all confidence: if you're fucking guys, you're a liar and fraud. She DOESN'T know and IS NOT ok with it, and NO! I'm not gonna help you feel ok about your narcissistic self at all. Suck it up, princess! (Had this happen too many times to me).

Grow some balls. You like cock. Phut.


...and we're off...:rolleyes: http://www.lpsg.com/28719-married-men-who-use-a-31.html#post5032512

What a very black and white world you live in. If you have the slightest curiosity about another guy, then you're 1,000,000,000,000% gay and you should just own it. :rolleyes: Not extreme in the slightest. :rolleyes: Does this rule of yours apply to guys who are predominantly gay, but are curious to know what a pussy tastes like? Would you react the same way to a straight guy who wants to try being with another woman? I think this is more to do with you and your own experience with it than it is to do with this issue.

It's very obvious that you have been down this road before and are extremely bitter about it, and that's fine. However, if you get involved with a married guy on the DL, and you expected more, then you got what you bagained for. I haven't actually done anything yet, I'm just talking, as are most guys which was brought to your attention in the thread posted above. If I did act on this, I wouldn't want to hook up with someone who was predominantly gay. I would want to do it with a guy who is in the same situation as me, so the expectations are clear. If you think you will get a guy who is married (possibly with kids) and is on the DL to give everything up to be with you exclusively, then you are very naive. If a life partner is what you're looking for, it's best to stay away from guys on the DL and pursue guys that are gay only because you are definitely barking up the wrong tree. If 2 guys want to keep the life they have, and have some no strings attached fun with another guy, I don't see what concern it is to you, or who you are to dictate to them what they can and can't do. No one is looking for your approval, so your refusal to give it is of no consequence to anyone but you. If it's between 2 consenting adults, it's their own business, and quite frankly, none of yours. If you don't like this topic, no one is putting a gun to your head to read it.

OK, I will expect your next irrational, extreme, angry, and insane rant shortly.
 
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