High School Reunions

[Enid]

Do you go or no?

My 30 year is in September. We had a 10, did not attend. 20, I did. I took my sister and kind of enjoyed it but then felt awkward about the questions "Ohhh...you never married? No children? You're here with...your *sister*? What happened?"

And yea, at the time I hated the perceived judgment for not being "normal" and conforming to what was generally expected. Especially with all the extra lingering looks because I was always the weirdo with Tourette's in a class of approx 150. "Is she still twitchy? Maybe that's why. No one wanted her. You know, she went in the looney bin for 6 months. She's fucked up."

But now I realize none of that matters and I should just go because 30 years is a long time and perhaps I need this. Perhaps it's time to exercise that confidence. Because fuck convention, right?

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Oh hell no I don't go.

Fuck those people.

 

[EllieP]

I'm still close to a handful of old classmates, all women, but I'm not giving serious thoughts to attending my 30th this year. The 20th was fun but turned into a train wreck. Couldn't get a date 20 years ago, but all of a sudden some want to make up for it.

Yeah, well, see, I'm married now. But yes, I agree, it would have been fun back then. No, I don't fool around now.

Twelve friend requests. Yeah, I should have printed our their messages and sent them to their wives. Except I'm sure their wives already know what they married. All twelve have been unfriended.

I'd rather just go visit those I like when I go home.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I will not subject myself to the burden of keeping company with those people.

 

[LaFemme]

In two years, it’ll be my 40th. Holy guacamole. *Femme counts, recounts, faints, rallies, recounts, checks the mirror*. Yep. 40.

Ok. I look pretty damn good. Age is a great equalizer. I’d go. None of us are the same people. What the hell? I grew up with some of those damn people. If some of them made my life hell, they’re old now, I’m too old to hold a grudge. Some of my classmates are even dead now. I turned out better than anyone could have predicted. Not as well as some, but I can hold my own. So what I never married? Let them speculate if they care to. I think at this point, it just doesn’t matter.

So I’d go. You’re awesome, Ms Enid. There’s a lot of distance between you and high school. Everybody has grown up. At least that’s been my experience.

 

[Enid]

@Enid any closer to making a decision?

I haven't. They moved the location from a nearby "resort" to the local country club (which is no big deal, at alll) so part of my reason for not going has gone away. But I'm still pretty meh about the whole thing.

I decided not to go. I'm not really feeling in a great place lately, and even though it's in September so aways away, I know myself. I'll deeply regret paying 50$ now & when reunion rolls around and I'm inevitably all like "Aw hell no, that's THIS weekend?!" I'll be very pissed with myself about a needless expenditure.

I was only close with a few people anyways. One's dead, another is living in a hippie commune out west, and the 1 or 2 others are people with whom I'd never connect now. (Ultra conservative, traditional mindsets, do not understand the childfree spinster lifestyle I have chosen.)

 

[286798]

Mine is this September, too! And I'm having anxiety/mixed feelings about it... which is not something I usually struggle with.

I'm leaning toward not going, for a couple reasons. #1- I'm divorced, no kids and not dating anyone seriously enough to want to take. #2- I've gained weight. #3- I keep up with everyone I want to though text/facebook. #4- there's another event the same day I've wanted to attend for a few years. #5- Since so many people from my class never left my small town, they're having it at a resort about 70 miles away to make it a getaway weekend for the "townies". If I'd go, I wouldn't get to visit people from home outside of my class. #6- it's a Friday and Saturday so I'd have to take a vacation day. I have enough, but that's not how I want to burn a vacation day to go to po-dunk.

Reasons I'm considering: #1- I did attend my 20 and enjoyed catching up with a few people who are not on FB. #2- I haven't been home in a year (my family likes to visit me).

I am still thinking about it. IF I go, I'll probably go solo and just for one of the two days and go see family.

What are the details of yours? Typical banquet at a hotel/meeting space? Or something interesting outside of your apprehensiveness?

 

[LaFemme]

If I lived in my hometown, I would... but I'm 8 hours away.

I had 25 at my house yesterday... probably 10 tonight. I'm down for entertaining.

I love throwing a little party. But I gotta say. If @AlteredEgo is throwing one, I’m definitely going!

 

[AlteredEgo]

I didn't go to my prom. I didn't go to graduation, even though I was valedictorian. I didn't want to spend extra time with them then, I'm not doing it now.

I do like other folks from the school where I began high school. But I see them. I call them. I Facebook with them. I tweet them. Everyone else? They can fuck right off.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I got an email, out of the blue from a classmate I was sort of friendly with. We’d hang out, but not stay over at each other’s places.

She went into painful detail about all the nasty rumors about what happened to me.
I got my GED and went to college, but the rumors have me dead of an OD, killed by a pimp, etc.
Now, I lettered in Forensics/Debate. I made great grades for someone who showed up weekly for class.

Why would someone want to share that intel? I was upset for weeks.

So I told her what I had done. Lived in three additional countries, gotten a degree in journalism and put in a decade telling people’s stories. Raised a kick ass kiddo, worked in the music industry 3/4 time as my side hustle. Married the love of my youth. Separated the bond of marriage with the love of my youth. Made great friends. Made a few formidable enemies. Sold a lot of tie dyes. Painted a lot of concerts.
Trained for an encore career.
Hardly the loser she was describing. Pimp...the closest I danced to sex work was a month of phone acting.

Why on earth would I want to go? I didn’t graduate with these assholes.

 

[LaFemme]

That’s totally fine. I would rather not go alone myself. You should have at least one person who has your back.

I approve your decision!

 

[AlteredEgo]

A few people (that I do like and would like to catch up with) are applying pressure for me to go. I'd like to see a handful of folks, but am just not feeling it. Maybe I'll come around later. I dunno.

Throw a small party? A few trays of lasagne, a couple pans of roasted veg, a few bottles of mid-range red wine, a chocolate cake and some gelato or ice cream. You set up a buffet on your lawn, a dance floor on your patio. (In my case, when I lived in the Bronx, dinner in the backyard, dancing in the driveway, music coming from inside the garage, where the buffet was set up.

I used to throw such a party once a year. $300 can stretch to 25 people. Make it clear they should bring a bottle. I usually bought 12 bottles of wine. I always ended up with a full bar. Vague wording. Some people interpret "a bottle" to mean hard liquor. I was ready for that with sodas and juices, and in case only more wine showed up, a rum punch made with frozen fruit punch concentrate, sherbet, and Mount Gay or Meyers rum. I prepared the veggetables a week in advance, the lasagne or ziti a few days ahead, and the cakes baked the day before, filled and crumb coated early in the morning, frosted and decorated before arranging my patio furniture. I can only make a pint of gelato or ice cream a day. I make 2 gallons for a party that size. I try to start a month ahead. Two weeks minimum, and I'll be a quart low. Fewer guests is stupid cheap. Buying the cake and ice cream saves a lot of time.

When I used to give house parties like that, I had to put mp3s on compact disks, and play them with a 5 disk changer. Disks one and two were music to talk over. Disk 3 was transitional. Danceable, but not too distracting. Disks 4 and 5 were clearly for dancing. When Disk one starts over, bring out the cake. Jeebus. Compact disks. Barbarism. I haven't given a party in a while, but no longer live where public transportation is a thing. So. A little wine. The trade off is less dancing. Sober people do not dance. Apparently.

lol Throw a party. See your people on your terms. Life is short.

 

[ChanelleNo5]

I went to my prom but the reunion...nah. I had started putting on weight and wasn't proud of where i was in life (are we ever or will I ever be?), on top of that I was a bit of an outcast in HS. No thanks.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I went to my prom but the reunion...nah. I had started putting on weight and wasn't proud of where i was in life (are we ever or will I ever be?), on top of that I was a bit of an outcast in HS. No thanks.

You're absolutely stunning.

#mynewladycrush

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'd rather just go visit those I like when I go home.

That's what I do.

 

[1850231]

Do you go or no?

My 30 year is in September. We had a 10, did not attend. 20, I did. I took my sister and kind of enjoyed it but then felt awkward about the questions "Ohhh...you never married? No children? You're here with...your *sister*? What happened?"

And yea, at the time I hated the perceived judgment for not being "normal" and conforming to what was generally expected. Especially with all the extra lingering looks because I was always the weirdo with Tourette's in a class of approx 150. "Is she still twitchy? Maybe that's why. No one wanted her. You know, she went in the looney bin for 6 months. She's fucked up."

But now I realize none of that matters and I should just go because 30 years is a long time and perhaps I need this. Perhaps it's time to exercise that confidence. Because fuck convention, right?

Hmmmn, I don’t know, maybe you don’t need it - why spend time with people who make you feel like shit? I’ve never gone to a school reunion because I know reside in a different hemisphere. (And frankly, that’s the least of it...) If there are people you want to see, see them independently but don’t spent time with dicks. There is scientific research on the profound impact, negative experiences have on us (especially chronic cases) and how it can effectively rewire your brain and damage you. It’s really important to avoid situations that don’t serve you. Taking care of yourself is a sign of good mental health.

 

[286798]

Throw a small party? ...
lol Throw a party. See your people on your terms. Life is short.

If I lived in my hometown, I would... but I'm 8 hours away.

I had 25 at my house yesterday... probably 10 tonight. I'm down for entertaining.

 

[ChanelleNo5]

I didn't go to my 10 yr.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I didn't go to my 10 yr.

I didn't either. I didn't even know it was happening until the night of because I ran into two classmates I hadn't seen since a funeral just after graduation at the grocery store.

They asked if I was going to attend and I told them they should know me better than that. They were actually pretty close to me back then, so I figured they would know how stubborn I am.

I didn't go to prom, I didn't do any of that. It's anti-me.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I didn't go to prom, I didn't do any of that. It's anti-me.

I would have loved to go to prom. I was grounded when prom came up in my original school. I was asked, but mymother said I couldn't go. In the school from which I graduated, I didn't trust anyone, and would have declined even if I had been asked. I didn't like any of those people. By then, I was an orphan, and would have had to pay for it myself. Nope. Spent not a penny on spending time with those people then,and I harbor no curiosity about them now.