Hiring male escort for my wife?

[D_Phil_R_Upp]

I'm gay but I've always found the str8 cuckold scene hot. And even a beginner/novice/nonexpert like me wonders why you'd leap first to the thought "hire an escort" when there are plenty of "bulls" that would love to ram your wife full of cock.

What came through in your post, though, is a lot about what you think and what you perceive to be the case re: sex with your wife (versus what may be the case, or how she sees it). If you don't believe what she's telling you, dig deeper.

And ask yourself why you don't believe what she's saying, or why you feel like you are not enough. I think there's some issues on communication, self-esteem and what you really want to have happen that you aren't looking at head-on. There is no dick big enough or wide enough to distract either of you from those issues or big enough to resolve them on its own.

 

[Pitbull]

As someone who's actually been told to take a hike by a size queen I'm not sure I can relate to this. Your wife has not said you are small. No one seems to have said you are small. She is "getting off" during sex so seriously where is the problem?

I hate to say it but is this part of some plan to push her away so you can pursue someone else?

I don't think there is any "plan" regarding his wife.

"Where is the Problem?"
Its in his head. In his head.
Maybe you can relate to that.

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

don't mean to pile on, but don't do it, bad idea

 

[INTP]

There is alot of good advice in this thread, I'm reading it all, trust me, and doing my best to still my mind to absorb it all totally objectively.

To the people who think I have some cuckold fantasy, good god you couldn't be further from the truth. Indeed, there is a despondent knowledge that doing something like that, out of despair, in order to definitely, undeniably see her and what her reaction is, how much she is enjoying being totally filled, would be fatal to our relationship. Or to me, at least. But in the grip of that black mood, it is a self-destructive need to see how her body reacts when being with a preposterously endowed male, so that I can FINALLY know, beyond doubt, what total fulfilment is to her, as I'd see it on her face in that moment, despite the fact that moment would destroy me, and "us".

I like to think I am rational, and objective. I am in most things, it is the only reason a part of me is able to distance itself from the turmoil in my head and acknowledge that I'm not functioning rationally here, and that self-destructive behaviours are not healthy, or sane.

I think this kind of penis anxiety that has afflicted me, increasingly over the past few years, is something modern society it going to see alot more of, given the nigh on worship of giant cocks in the mainstream media, and in generic porn, and in women's magazines, etc.

I mean, how is an average man SUPPOSED to feel & react when bombarded in this manner, and with no alternative perspectives to ground him? One's self esteem is left to the mercy of mass-media and female fantasy, and I'm sorry if that offends the women here who obviously are partial to large cocks (hence their membership here) but it is true.

The mitigating factors in my situation are that my wife's vagina is rather "large" compared to all the women I slept with before her (I just assumed since it is because she is tall at 5'11, same height as me) so I assume it must be larger than average in depth, etc. AND, she can not stand to be stimulated clitorally. Not even allowed to touch her there. She hates it. Penetration is everything to her, hence my fixation with the subject.

But to finish, I am indeed not going to pursue this thing, as it would kill me, and end our marriage, as pointed out, I see that now. Left to the mercy of my own out of control insecurities, it seemed a good idea to get to the truth of it, and her, and put me out of my misery, but as pointed out to me, I can see I am being totally unfair in 2nd guessing her, not LISTENING to her and just letting my mind run away with me.

I'm not an arsehole, I love my wife, and I see it as my duty to totally fulfill her and meet her needs. My male pride needs to know I can to be able to function.

it's all very primordial stuff, I guess.

Thanks for all the replies, they are sincerely appreciated.

 

[Pitbull]

My male pride needs to know I can to be able to function.

Here is a joke with a moral to it.

Bob and Joe are friends
After golfing they go to the locker room to shower.
Joe has a very large penis and Bob is just average.

Bob can't help commenting:
"That is a heck of a nice big cock you have there."
"You are lucky guy!"

Joe replies:
"Not a big deal really. Just a penis.Yours looks perfectly fine to me."

Bob:
"Its OK. But really like most guys I wish I had a big one like yours."

Joe:
"Does yours work?"

Bob:
"Works fine."

Joe:
"Wish I could trade mine for yours."

 

[B_subgirrl]

But to finish, I am indeed not going to pursue this thing, as it would kill me, and end our marriage, as pointed out, I see that now. Left to the mercy of my own out of control insecurities, it seemed a good idea to get to the truth of it, and her, and put me out of my misery, but as pointed out to me, I can see I am being totally unfair in 2nd guessing her, not LISTENING to her and just letting my mind run away with me.

It sounds like you're a good bloke at heart. I'm really glad you seem able to step back and see the truth. Don't let your insecurities get the best of you. I hope you continue to have a wonderful marriage :smile:.

 

[Pdick]

1. You have an above average length dick, and an average girth dick.
2. Your wife gets off multiple time on that dick.
3. Your wife isn't complaining about your dick.
4. Porn is a horrible idea to compare your dick to, try a locker room.
5. Women can't accurately measure a dick if their lives depended on it. If you have a 6" dick, they will say it's 7-8" if asked.
6. Women do not give a shit about the size of your dick as long as they are interested in the man it's attached to and they can get off on it. Size queens are an exception, and maybe some women just out looking for a shag.
7. This is all in your head. Tell your head to shut up, and then go fuck your wife.

 

[Daneforyou3]

Your definitely thinking correctly!!! My wife has only been w me 6" and i convinced her with some good narcotics and big cock porn to have two BBCs come over. They were 11" and 10" both very thick (wx my girth). They DPd her, Double vag, and i watched her come twice in a row, once a bit of a squirt, when she was taking an anal pounding w the other cock in her mouth. She said although nervous at first it was the greatest sexual experience she could ever imagine. She came about a dozen times and i filmed it all. We watch and have sex to it all the time. Too hot. 2x a year since some debauchery occors in our sex life and always includes a hige cock. Im totally fine w that. I love to see her pleased, makes me happy. BTW they are not only huge there is no stopping between loads. Go for it dude, my wife loves me just the same.

 

[alpharomeo]

Dear INTP,

I took your problem to a wise friend because I was moved by your post. I want to include what he has written so I copied and pasted it below (be warned it is long):

Many years ago, I had the kind of preoccupation you do, on the same subject and with intensity you describe. I was a young man and I stressed over the same type of expressions you do from what you think is all around you. Although it surprises me now, I actually experienced a lot of pain and anguish over my thoughts and perceptions.

Like you, I am not stupid; I am rationale. I am reasonable. I was on scholarship to a top 20 university. And my penis is shorter than yours, but in the average range.

Here's the good news: Over time, it has faded away and passed into oblivion.

Did I need a program or a Transcendental Truth revealed to me from the lips of a woman on what women really want? No.

Why?

Because it doesn't exist. If you think your wife could give you the ultimate truth of what she wants sexually (which she very may well not even know or understand herself, given her background) and it turned out you had all the tools to do it, do you think your life would be completely sexually fulfilling? Maybe, but probably not as much as you'd think. It still might depend on whether you help with the dishes at night after work, or in the morning after you sleep in. Things might seem a bit better for a little while. But everything changes, including women and wives and what they consider ideal. The "ideal" is not a concept that you should expect to remain in stasis in your wife's mind, and that applies to sexuality as much as anything.

You have many other challenges to which you can look forward, including many that will, believe me, in later years make your present one seem a bit foolish. But that's okay. It's part of being human.

Some of those challenges might be:

*Your wife may get a prolapsed uterus. Then you'll wish your penis were smaller.
*Your wife's hormones may change. Then, without knowing it, she may like her clitoris stimulated and dislike intercourse.
*Your hormones may change. Then, you might have to work on even caring about what your wife wants sexually.
*Your money will never be enough for everyone that insists you must pay them. Economic pressure will displace non-expedient anxieties.
*You will be exhausted and the greatest motivation in your life will be to find some peace and good music.
*Your son will grow and start to worry about things you know won't make a difference in his life but you'll worry that they will cause pain and mental suffering, so you'll explain and teach him how knowledge, motivation, and eschewing ridiculous messages from ridiculous people in our societal media is the key to potency, results, and personal triumph (of course by then, this present concern of yours will have been settled, and rightly dispatched from your brain).

Don't worry that your wife has a secret "ideal" or will discover a previously unknown "ideal" sexually that is biologically separate from what her psyche expresses to you. It just doesn't exist, as you might fear or imagine it. And it is a fool's errand. Just learn as much about her as you can and act on that. Keep your information up your sleeve and as the years progress it will pay in spades.

Consider your neighbors. More than 55% of the married ones will get divorced. More will die this year from opioid overdose than automobile and cancer deaths combined. Your life might be more ideal than you think.

The short of it is this: Our brain and our feelings sometimes LIE to us. When you recognize that yours have lied to you, because you bought into the mendacious and misanthropic cuts of popular culture sources (and make no mistake, many of these sources make their own pleasure in finding ways to bring pain to others), you'll immediately begin to engage with more honest and robust thinking and align your brain with genuine cerebral rigor and mastery.

Two books might help: "Bonds that Make us Free" and "Emotional Intelligence." They both require hard slogs to get through, but are worth it.

Take care of yourself.

 

[rayray]

Dear INTP,

I took your problem to a wise friend because I was moved by your post. I want to include what he has written so I copied and pasted it below (be warned it is long):

Many years ago, I had the kind of preoccupation you do, on the same subject and with intensity you describe. I was a young man and I stressed over the same type of expressions you do from what you think is all around you. Although it surprises me now, I actually experienced a lot of pain and anguish over my thoughts and perceptions.

Like you, I am not stupid; I am rationale. I am reasonable. I was on scholarship to a top 20 university. And my penis is shorter than yours, but in the average range.

Here's the good news: Over time, it has faded away and passed into oblivion.

Did I need a program or a Transcendental Truth revealed to me from the lips of a woman on what women really want? No.

Why?

Because it doesn't exist. If you think your wife could give you the ultimate truth of what she wants sexually (which she very may well not even know or understand herself, given her background) and it turned out you had all the tools to do it, do you think your life would be completely sexually fulfilling? Maybe, but probably not as much as you'd think. It still might depend on whether you help with the dishes at night after work, or in the morning after you sleep in. Things might seem a bit better for a little while. But everything changes, including women and wives and what they consider ideal. The "ideal" is not a concept that you should expect to remain in stasis in your wife's mind, and that applies to sexuality as much as anything.

You have many other challenges to which you can look forward, including many that will, believe me, in later years make your present one seem a bit foolish. But that's okay. It's part of being human.

Some of those challenges might be:

*Your wife may get a prolapsed uterus. Then you'll wish your penis were smaller.
*Your wife's hormones may change. Then, without knowing it, she may like her clitoris stimulated and dislike intercourse.
*Your hormones may change. Then, you might have to work on even caring about what your wife wants sexually.
*Your money will never be enough for everyone that insists you must pay them. Economic pressure will displace non-expedient anxieties.
*You will be exhausted and the greatest motivation in your life will be to find some peace and good music.
*Your son will grow and start to worry about things you know won't make a difference in his life but you'll worry that they will cause pain and mental suffering, so you'll explain and teach him how knowledge, motivation, and eschewing ridiculous messages from ridiculous people in our societal media is the key to potency, results, and personal triumph (of course by then, this present concern of yours will have been settled, and rightly dispatched from your brain).

Don't worry that your wife has a secret "ideal" or will discover a previously unknown "ideal" sexually that is biologically separate from what her psyche expresses to you. It just doesn't exist, as you might fear or imagine it. And it is a fool's errand. Just learn as much about her as you can and act on that. Keep your information up your sleeve and as the years progress it will pay in spades.

Consider your neighbors. More than 55% of the married ones will get divorced. More will die this year from opioid overdose than automobile and cancer deaths combined. Your life might be more ideal than you think.

The short of it is this: Our brain and our feelings sometimes LIE to us. When you recognize that yours have lied to you, because you bought into the mendacious and misanthropic cuts of popular culture sources (and make no mistake, many of these sources make their own pleasure in finding ways to bring pain to others), you'll immediately begin to engage with more honest and robust thinking and align your brain with genuine cerebral rigor and mastery.

Two books might help: "Bonds that Make us Free" and "Emotional Intelligence." They both require hard slogs to get through, but are worth it.

Take care of yourself.

I hope you realize this thread was started in 2010 ? The same year of the OPs last posting .

 

[Samuel Marusco]

1st post, hope you can bear with me, as this seems a good forum to ask this, given the number of sexually "well-travelled" people here.

My wife seems happy with me, though I know I am too small for her (6.5" x 4.5") as she is tall, and has had our son. I dunno, perhaps it is "penis anxiety" or neuroses, but it's getting to the point of obsessing my every waking thought just how inadequate I must be since I am unable to REALLY fcuk her deeply, completely & totally, the way a man with a large penis could.

I feel like I'm not even a real human, let alone a real man.

Anyway, I bought a sextoy (bigger than me, of course) to incorporate into our lovelife for her pleasure. She was very shy at first, and said no, but once she tried it, she took quite a liking to it. Which validated my suspicions about her needs.

I suggested that perhaps I'd even consider hiring a male escort with a huge one to "bang her brains out". She laughed nervously, and said she wouldn't want it, but I know that laugh, and it meant she liked the idea, and only said she'd reject it to spare my feelings. :frown1:

But anyway, if I do this thing for her, will she be ruined for me forever afterward? As in, if she were to have sex with a man with a huge penis, would she be unable to ever enjoy sex with me again?

It's self-destructive of me, and would probably destroy me to see her having deep, profound ecstasy inflicted on her in a way I can never do for her (as I am a male afterall, and it would probably fatally compromise my male self-esteem) but I feel like I'm denying her self-fulfilment and our marriage is a only as real as I can keep her sexually naive, and her needs suppressed, ie, not real at all.

Perhaps my perceptions of what other men are packing are distorted by porn, and anecdote and hearsay, but it seems like men with huge, thick cocks are everywhere, even though statistics suggests they are quite uncommon or rare. Unless it's because men with large cocks are far more sexually active than small/average men, so the female perception of average is skewed to large as a result.

 

[CUBE]

I think it’s all in your head. Maybe you want your wife to take on a big cock as you’d like to enjoy the size too