The first time I saw him naked it really hurt my feelings or ego and created such strong emotions that I never had before. I was a totally straight guy, never had any interest in another guy, never fantasized about it, and my thoughts were always about women. My friend was literally hung like a horse with a completely flaccid penis so thick and long that my erection would pale in comparison. Yet, here we were in a changing room at a community pool and I felt so unhappy that he could see my little penis (although really of normal size) but looking like an acorn next to this massive hunk of hanging flesh. I quickly pulled on my bathing suit, said nothing, and quickly left without him to jump into the pool trying to immediately will my growing erection to stop. I was so embarrassed and full of panic as to my response. He came out and I was fascinated that you could not tell the slightest hint of that elephant looking trunk tucked in his bathing suit. I tried to act as normal as possible although my heart was racing and I could hear my voice quiver as we talked about nothing. Fortunately, the cold water had hidden my response although I had to stay in the water much longer than I preferred. When he got out again I tried to sneak looks to see if it was possible to detect that big penis and again you simply saw nothing. I could only guess it must tuck under his balls or squish up so you couldn’t tell.
I know it may sound like an exaggeration but that relatively 15 to 20 second observation of his penis forever changed my life.
I looked at my friend in a different way with a respect that I had never thought about before. We stayed at the pool for several hours, went back into change, and when he was removing his wet bathing suit I pretended to be coughing so I could look again hopefully without him noticing that I was. I felt a lust and a shame at the same time for having any thoughts about his cock. We got dressed, drove back in his car where I was dropped off. That evening I struggled to sleep and finally began masturbating thinking about how girls would be in fear and fascination if they saw him naked. They would respect him so much and know he could fuck them in such a dominant way that if he wasn’t careful he could hurt them yet at the same time exhibit so much sexual prowess that he would be the most special man they had ever been with. I looked at my 6 inch erect penis and thought no woman is going to remember me as special or become subservient to my masculinity like they would to him. They would be scared, fascinated, and have to touch it. I imagined that his penis was hanging off of me and how wonderful it would be to walk naked in front of woman and watch their combination of fear and desire and respect. Then I realized these were my thoughts about him as well. I wanted to hold his cock, pull on it to see how much bigger it would get and the skin folds of his flaccid cock made me believe it would stretch out to a real and true very thick 9” at least. I kept jacking my cock and imagined sucking it too. I was angry at myself for these feelings but also came in a very intensive orgasm.
Once my sexual desires subsided I was ashamed that I had these thoughts. What was wrong with me? I am not gay; I don’t desire a man, to fuck a man or be fucked by a man, did I?
After that truly life changing mental experience, over the years my fascination with big penises and equal jealousy continued. The feeling always left a pit in my stomach of how average I was sexually and how superior even just in appearnce a big penis really looked. I would sometimes buy a magazine that featured men with large penises and look at them with a mixture of envy and desire. But, the desire was always unclear. Was it that I wanted to suck it or get fucked by it; or was it that I wanted it to be mine? Maybe it was both but whatever the thoughts were it stuck with me and turned me on sexually. I then loved the stories too and became obsessed with finding big penis stories where the bigger penis overwhelmed the woman with pleasure. Again, it was female focused but also these stories really made me curious as to whether it was really true that the bigger penis felt better and was better to a woman? Of course I read how size doesn’t matter, or how the smaller flaccid penis grows more but then when the internet came around it was visually obvious none of that was true. In fact, I continually and secretly would masturbate to those amateur videos where the wife was fucked by a much bigger penis than her husband and loved it.
At this point of my life I had married and although my wife seemed fine with me sexually, I often would fuck her imagining what it would feel like to have one of those big penises to experience going so deep into her and having all the sensations I didn’t have or couldn’t have with my average cock. Plus, I wanted to see what difference it would make for her. That eventually led to me making contacts with well-endowed guys to join us for a 3some (although she didn’t know it yet). (to be continued)
I know it may sound like an exaggeration but that relatively 15 to 20 second observation of his penis forever changed my life.
I looked at my friend in a different way with a respect that I had never thought about before. We stayed at the pool for several hours, went back into change, and when he was removing his wet bathing suit I pretended to be coughing so I could look again hopefully without him noticing that I was. I felt a lust and a shame at the same time for having any thoughts about his cock. We got dressed, drove back in his car where I was dropped off. That evening I struggled to sleep and finally began masturbating thinking about how girls would be in fear and fascination if they saw him naked. They would respect him so much and know he could fuck them in such a dominant way that if he wasn’t careful he could hurt them yet at the same time exhibit so much sexual prowess that he would be the most special man they had ever been with. I looked at my 6 inch erect penis and thought no woman is going to remember me as special or become subservient to my masculinity like they would to him. They would be scared, fascinated, and have to touch it. I imagined that his penis was hanging off of me and how wonderful it would be to walk naked in front of woman and watch their combination of fear and desire and respect. Then I realized these were my thoughts about him as well. I wanted to hold his cock, pull on it to see how much bigger it would get and the skin folds of his flaccid cock made me believe it would stretch out to a real and true very thick 9” at least. I kept jacking my cock and imagined sucking it too. I was angry at myself for these feelings but also came in a very intensive orgasm.
Once my sexual desires subsided I was ashamed that I had these thoughts. What was wrong with me? I am not gay; I don’t desire a man, to fuck a man or be fucked by a man, did I?
After that truly life changing mental experience, over the years my fascination with big penises and equal jealousy continued. The feeling always left a pit in my stomach of how average I was sexually and how superior even just in appearnce a big penis really looked. I would sometimes buy a magazine that featured men with large penises and look at them with a mixture of envy and desire. But, the desire was always unclear. Was it that I wanted to suck it or get fucked by it; or was it that I wanted it to be mine? Maybe it was both but whatever the thoughts were it stuck with me and turned me on sexually. I then loved the stories too and became obsessed with finding big penis stories where the bigger penis overwhelmed the woman with pleasure. Again, it was female focused but also these stories really made me curious as to whether it was really true that the bigger penis felt better and was better to a woman? Of course I read how size doesn’t matter, or how the smaller flaccid penis grows more but then when the internet came around it was visually obvious none of that was true. In fact, I continually and secretly would masturbate to those amateur videos where the wife was fucked by a much bigger penis than her husband and loved it.
At this point of my life I had married and although my wife seemed fine with me sexually, I often would fuck her imagining what it would feel like to have one of those big penises to experience going so deep into her and having all the sensations I didn’t have or couldn’t have with my average cock. Plus, I wanted to see what difference it would make for her. That eventually led to me making contacts with well-endowed guys to join us for a 3some (although she didn’t know it yet). (to be continued)
