His vs. hers orgasm scorecard, how long would you keep him around?

[HughJorgen]

I have a female friend up near Chicago. For the sake of this story, I’ll call her “Jennifer”. She has a new boyfriend, that I’ll call “Paul”.

Some background info:

I have known Jennifer since 1988. We are strictly friends. We tell each other everything.

Jennifer is now separated from her second husband “Bob”. They were married for 10 years, together for 14. Come to find out Bob had a very low sex drive. They only had sex twice a year. Their wedding anniversary,, and her birthday. Bob has ADHD, and apparently would rather be in another room ironing his work clothes instead of cuddling with Jennifer on the couch while they watched a movie. They do not have any children.

Jennifer's first husband died from cancer. Again, no kids in the picture.

So she started dating Paul about 4 months ago. He is in his 50’s. He has never been married. He does not have any kids. He has never co-habitated with a woman while in a long term relationship.

Their first few times together in the bedroom, he had erectile dysfunction issues. He also appears to know nothing about giving oral or manual / digital stimulation to a woman. I did mention he is in his 50’s….didn’t I?

By my best estimates now, the orgasm count stands at:

Paul: 10

Jennifer: 0

Jennifer is absolutely smitten or enamored with Paul. They met about 2 years ago, but it has been strictly platonic up until about 4 months ago.

Part of that, obviously, might be because her husband neglected her for the past 10 years. And this is a new or novel relationship. There is always excitement in the beginning. Besides, she has gotten more sex…as non-orgasmic as it might be….within the past 4 months than she has had in the past 10 years. Jennifer has to resort to finishing herself off by her own hand after Paul cums.

So my question to you ladies of LPSG: how long would you keep such a guy around?

Would you have kicked him to the curb 3 months ago, already?

 

[Acquar]

If she's in love then she should talk with Paul about it. Sex is not my main focus in a relationship but feeling not cared about is a time bomb... I mean, he should see a doctor, learn techniques or whatever, not just for the sake of her orgasm but to show her he cares.

 

[HughJorgen]

If she's in love then she should talk with Paul about it. Sex is not my main focus in a relationship but feeling not cared about is a time bomb... I mean, he should see a doctor, learn techniques or whatever, not just for the sake of her orgasm but to show her he cares.

Thank you for the reply.

I think they did have a brief bedroom discussion where she tried to “steer” him towards oral or giving her a “handy”. His reply was along the lines of “I’m not good at that either.”

I would think that regardless of how much she loves him or she thinks she loves him, that after a while of her NOT orgasming, she would start to resent him.

 

[HughJorgen]

My mother told me a bit of dating advice 20 years ago:

“Don’t make yourself too available!"

And this is the same advice I gave to “Jennifer” maybe about 6 months ago.

And I think over the past 2 to 3 months, Jennifer did the exact opposite. She was basically at Paul’s “beck and call”.

Paul called her last night.

Jennifer texted me about it too, last night.

I told her that he was checking up on her to see if she was out on a date with somebody else.

He had a chance to ask her if she had any plans for tonight / Saturday night, but he did NOT.

It sets up a weird dynamic in a relationship when one party was married twice, but so, so neglected in the second marriage. Then the other party has never been married, never co-habitated with a romantic partner, and has probably never had a relationship last longer than 4 months.