This past Sunday I went to my gym with the intention of just hanging out in the spa, was pretty tired from going out the night prior and wasn't in the mood to workout. I hung out in the Jacuzzi for about an hour, alternating between that and the cooler pool, while talking to some of the people I know there. At some point I noticed this guy that was doing laps in the pool, was a pretty tall and built guy with the look of a professional swimmer, overall a physically impressive individual.
I eventually decide to call an end to my relaxation time and make my way back to the locker room to dry off and change back into my regular clothes. In the locker room, had my jeans and shoes on but no shirt and I noticed the swimmer guy come in, he was dressed and going through his locker. Guy was a bit taller than me, probably around 6'6", and a very attractive guy, definitely top tier genetics. Curious, I asked him if he swam in college, which he did, and we talked a bit about that, a totally normal conversation. We end up introducing ourselves but at some point in the conversation he starts asking me more personal questions, which I didn't think much of because we were getting to know each other. He ends up asking me how far away I live and then mentions that he lives across he street, at this point I still didn't really pick up on it but based on how he was looking at me it became more apparent that he was interested in me. I was putting my shirt on and he walks a bit closer to me and was taking out his phone while asking me more personal questions, like he wanted to get my number. At this point I did get a bit uncomfortable because I wasn't sure of how our interaction would change after I tell him I'm not attracted to men, as I actually did enjoy talking to him. He ended up putting his phone back in his pocket and we made a polite farewell and agreed we'd talk again next time we saw one another.
During this experience I was never once felt threatened or uncomfortable with the exception of the realization that I wouldn't really know how to tell him I wasn't attracted to men if he had made a move on me. I see a lot of this crazy talk from people on here about hooking up with dudes in the sauna or showers, but I saw this as totally normal and acceptable. It granted me a better understanding as to how difficult it can be for gay men to approach other men out of interest when they aren't aware of whether or not that individual shares the same sexuality.
Thanks for sharing this. So much is fascinating on a few fronts. First of all, I've always suspected that irregardless of sexuality, gay or straight, men make decisions of initiating platonic and non-platonic relationships based on physical attraction. Even if, ostensibly for the straight men, the physical component will never be acted upon. I think that instead of projecting a wish-fulillment of you being bi/curious/etc. which many seem to want to do because of your descriptive word choices about the other guy (which is by the way understandable) I prefer to think of you as an open person who experienced the dance of budding relationships.
Another thing I'll put out there is based upon the details you provided, consider the following:
1 - You were in a gym spa where men are typically nude or semi-nude for over an hour without working out, going from area to area.
2 - You noticed this guy swimming. Is the swimming pool in direct view from the spa? Your "noticing" could be interpreted as sexual interest by a gay/bi/curious, etc. guy since the visual (held) gaze is highly developed/cultivated/used to translate as interest. I'm betting the guy was aware of your "noticing" each time, the entire time.
3 - In the locker area you don't seem to be on his radar until you ("curious") initiate conversation. Your conversation and curiosity is essentially based on his physical beauty - that was your point of departure and I posit the only reason you had a desire to engage with him. Now from his standpoint there's this guy, you, who's hanging about the spa, chatting, not working out, frequently watching him and then chatting him up in the locker room.
4 - I'd be curious what these "personal questions" he was asking you were...and how you answered them or volleyed back to him...
I wouldn't really know how to tell him I wasn't attracted to men if he had made a move on me.
I don't quite understand this. By, making a move on you, do you mean if he grabbed your dick you aren't sure if you should let him or not?
You seem to turn this encounter into a demonstration of surprising civility by a gay man but I think it's more a revelation of your attraction.
I see a lot of this crazy talk from people on here about hooking up with dudes in the sauna or showers, but I saw this as totally normal and acceptable.
I don't think this is relevant with your experience even though you want to frame it that way. First of all, you were the initiator and secondly, the people that have sex in saunas/showers do so as two (or more) consenting parties regardless of their sexuality.
Actually, in my opinion, your encounter was not normal or acceptable. Because you initiated the dance without being forthcoming and luxuriated in the insinuations, the flirting and the thrill of the sexual possibilities fully aware that you were not prepared to go further.
Finally, I'd be very curious to know if the guy is actually gay (or any other of our current hipster labels which translates into having sex with another man). Wouldn't that be interesting if he is not?