hitting on straight guys

[rob_just_rob]

How about this:

1. Gay guys, if you know a guy is straight, don't hit on him. If he was interested, he would already be gay. If you're not sure if he's straight, try to discreetly find out before hitting on him. If he says no to your proposition, move on.

(the last sentence can apply to straight guys hitting on women, too)

2. Straight guys, treat an unwelcome proposition from a man the same way you would treat an unwelcome proposition from a woman. This can be a polite "no, thanks", a "sorry, I don't swing that way" or whatever civil, nonconfrontational demurral (or little white lie - e.g. "I'm taken") you choose.

Personally, I try to take it as a compliment when someone I'm not interested in hits on me. It's not always easy, but I try.

 

[Lex]

... I don't believe you're not homophobic. Especially since, by your own admission, it's not the forwardness that offends you, but merely the fact that these guys are gay and might be attracted to you, which makes YOU uncomfortable.

....
Since you would only single out guys... you're obviously a bigot.

This is TEXTBOOK homophobia.

 

[Standard Deviant]

IAs far as getting head from a gay guy, yeah, it's happened to me and it may happen again. Just don't expect me to return the favour guys!
Chris

You aren't my type but this attitude is exactly what I had always wished to find but never seemed to. I'm more straight than bi, which makes it hard to be attracted to gay men, who just have such a totally different mindset than mine. Also very oral, and always found that the guys who I was with wanted so badly to go down on me I could never take the role I wanted. There was only one glorious night when I was in my mid 20s and met a younger guy 18 who was straight (so far) and after talking with him for over 10 hours and smoking a whole lot of grass, he finally volunteered to give it a try. He laid back and let me do all the work/"worship", which was what I had always wanted.

That was ONE night in my whole life!!!! You're definitely better off being either gay or straight than like me when it comes to finding compatible partners.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

This is TEXTBOOK homophobia.

exactly. In retrospect I think my own language could have been stronger.

 

[B_IanTheTall]

A guy once told my girlfriend, "I have a tongue like a snake and I can breath through my ears." Straight guys are guys, just like gay guys or bi guys. :wink:

The best way for straight guy to avoid being hit on by gay guys is to not go to gay clubs/bars. Just a friendly tip.

 

[Standard Deviant]

Being a straight guy - and having the misfortune of being hit on by gay guys alot - the answer is simple - I am disgusted by it. What the hell thinks these guys can just come up to me and say the things they say ? How dare anyone put me in that situation before they have said 2 words to me. I haven't punched someone in the face yet - but believe me the day is coming real soon.

See, I was never worried about being hit, because I'm athletic, muscular, masculine and grew up in a neighborhood where I had to learn how to fight when I was a kid, and almost always won.

But HugeAussie, I am the kind of guy who was respectful and would never have asked you because I was too shy and didn't want to offend. And where did it get me? FRUSTRATED as SHIT. Even when I struck up a friendship with a dude I was attracted to, I could never figure out an appropriate way or time to bring the subject up!

So which is worse, being so concerned about the other guy's feelings that you hardly ever get to have the sexual experiences you are dying for, or taking the chance of offending and ASKING the guy? Would it have pissed you off any less if you knew somebody for a few weeks or months and then he admitted he was attracted to you, and offered to blow you? Or are you just so terminally homophobic you would ALWAYS be ticked off, no matter what?

Speaking of popping somebody in the face, I think it's gonna happen real soon in my case to, when I encounter my next chickenshit homophobe. They're all closet cases, anyway. I was the same way before I finally made the breakthough. The reason guys get SO worked up about the threat of male-male sex is INVARIABLY because they have deep-seated fears that they will LIKE IT too much.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

The reason guys get SO worked up about the threat of male-male sex is INVARIABLY because they have deep-seated fears that they will LIKE IT too much.

In fairness, some of them also get mad when people throw around dumb generalizations like these...

Though of course it takes a straight man truly comfortable with his own sexuality to accept gay men hitting on him and take it all in stride... to say that the opposite behavior is INVARIABLY attributable to closeted homosexual urges is ridiculous. Not only would this make the majority of straight guys gay, but it also completely discounts the fact that disgust and revulsion at the act of homosexual love are deeply ingrained on many as a product of cultural indoctrination and places full responsibility for these feelings on the homophobe/repressed homosexual themselves. This is overly-Freudian and implausible if not completely unrealistic.

 

[B_hugeaussie]

God why did I even bother trying to explain.

I have never read so much crap in all my life. I hardly ever post on LPSG threads, when I finally saw one I felt like answering - this is the sort of crap I have to listen to. I have been branded a TEXTBOOK homophobe.

You have obviously judged me and that's the end of it according to you so I guess there is no bother for anymore talk.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

God why did I even bother trying to explain.

Because it's such a struggle to justify this bullshit in your own mind that you have started seeking outside validation?

Assaulting people or wanting to assault people because they are coming on to you is NOT okay. Expressing your opinion, having your own preferences and ideas is fine. But thinking like you described is DANGEROUS. Just because it is commonplace does NOT make it okay. Pointing this out is the duty of any sane and caring human being.

 

[B_hugeaussie]

There is no struggle whatsoever, I feel what I feel and believe what I believe. So just stop talking crap if it is at all possible and I repeat -

You have obviously judged me and that's the end of it according to you so I guess there is no bother for anymore talk.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

vows of silence are even better when they're repeated multiple times.

 

[Standard Deviant]

You have obviously judged me and that's the end of it according to you so I guess there is no bother for anymore talk.

For someone who talks big about busting people in the face you sure are a PUSSY when it comes to answering my entirely legit question. Considering that some "straight" men will at least be flattered and sometimes have enough curiosity to want to give some things a try when given the chance, is it fair to never allow any way of asking? As I said, I almost never DID ask, out of not wanting to offend. The one time I did, the answer was yes.

And...I believe the generalization about violent reactions being rooted in fear of one's own bisexuality is valid, based not just on Kinsey and other studies that make "100%" hetero or homosexuality unlikely in humans, but on my own experience. Before I finally made a breakthrough in my own self-understanding, I was a "100% heterosexual" who had violent thoughts when males came on to me. I've seen it over and over in others who exhibited the same mentality and later became screamers. I threw it out in the language I did to parody the stupidity of the post that provoked it.

 

[B_hugeaussie]

For someone who talks big about busting people in the face you sure are a PUSSY when it comes to answering my entirely legit question. Considering that some "straight" men will at least be flattered and sometimes have enough curiosity to want to give some things a try when given the chance, is it fair to never allow any way of asking? As I said, I almost never DID ask, out of not wanting to offend. The one time I did, the answer was yes.

And...I believe the generalization about violent reactions being rooted in fear of one's own bisexuality is valid, based not just on Kinsey and other studies that make "100%" hetero or homosexuality unlikely in humans, but on my own experience. Before I finally made a breakthrough in my own self-understanding, I was a "100% heterosexual" who had violent thoughts when males came on to me. I've seen it over and over in others who exhibited the same mentality and later became screamers. I threw it out in the language I did to parody the stupidity of the post that provoked it.

Man you guys know how to be funny but I suppose you have had alot of experience. I love the 'talking big' line, Real funny stuff.

I haven't hit anyone, and it is extremely likely that I never will. That doesn;t stop me thinking it when the situation arises, just like when driving ande someone cuts me off, sure I would like to punch them in the face - is it gonna happen ? No. When you get an angry customer in whatever your field of work is - there is nothing more you would like to do than smack them one - will it happen ? No. Can you think it ? Sure you can.

So let me get this straight - because I choose NOT to act on these impulses I am some sort of freak ? - what sort of world would we live in if everyone did that ? Get back in the real world and try to have a normal conversation will you ?

My so called 'violent reactions' have nothing to do with homosexuals or anyone else. IF something really annoys me I get angry - like 95% of other people on the planet. If something extremley pisses me off then that is my way of dealing with it. If you would rather me punch them in the face instead of keep control of myself - let me know.


And as for your question - I couldn't care less if you came up to me and asked me if I was gay or not or if I wanted to go out with you. That is called respect. It's a damn way more polite than along the lines of - I wanna suck your massive meat.

Get the disctinction there ? Can you see it ?

It's called respect, give me some and you will get more than that back.
Act like a total moron and you guess how you will be received by others.

Any other questions ?

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

And...I believe the generalization about violent reactions being rooted in fear of one's own bisexuality is valid

I wasn't arguing that it wasn't valid some of the time, I just think it's ridiculous to say that this is the reasons ALL of the time, which you said before and I've heard said many other times as well. If this was true for you in your own personal experience, of course that makes a very powerful anecdotal case in your own mind, but that still doesn't mean that everyone who acts the same way is doing so for exactly the same reasons. There are many ways that we are all the same but it's also important to acknoweldge and remember the differences.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

When you get an angry customer in whatever your field of work is - there is nothing more you would like to do than smack them one - will it happen ? No. Can you think it ? Sure you can.

There have been many homosexual men who have been assaulted, tortured, beaten, and even murdered for no other reason than their sexual preference. This isn't a joke.

Incidentally, I agree with you that approaching a stranger and offering to perform some kind of lewd sexual act on them, regardless of what the sex of the approacher or approached is, is rude and offensive. So would most of the gay men on these boards and probably the overwhelming majority of them. But, as I pointed out before, you only feel violent toward the men who would do this to you. The hostility you feel is only toward gay men for offending your straight sensibilities. This isn't the same as being upset that someone is being rude, and obviously stems from some deep-seated homophobic tendencies. Recognizing this about yourself would be a big step in the direction of personal growth.

 

[dannymawg]

Retract your violent comment hugeaussie, and get this over with. You can still hang onto your values, which are clear now.

 

[B_hugeaussie]

Incidentally, I agree with you that approaching a stranger and offering to perform some kind of lewd sexual act on them, regardless of what the sex of the approacher or approached is, is rude and offensive. So would most of the gay men on these boards and probably the overwhelming majority of them. But, as I pointed out before, you only feel violent toward the men who would do this to you. The hostility you feel is only toward gay men for offending your straight sensibilities. This isn't the same as being upset that someone is being rude, and obviously stems from some deep-seated homophobic tendencies. Recognizing this about yourself would be a big step in the direction of personal growth.

The only reason I only feel this way towards gay men is because it is ONLY gay men who approach me and say things like this - do you understand that ? Can you get to that ?

If a woman came up to me and said the same thing I probably wouldn't be as angry but would still be shocked at the total rudeness of it.

If I am only violent towards gay men I suppose next time someone cuts me off in traffic - I should just assume he is gay because I feel angry ? Bloody ridiculous comments you just made there.

And I won't be retracting my 'violent comment' because it is still true and is probably true for a majority of people whether they choose to admit it or not, and I am sure next time it happens I will still get just as angry at these totally ignorant mannerless people.

 

[B_hugeaussie]

Retract your violent comment hugeaussie, and get this over with. You can still hang onto your values, which are clear now.

Oh don't make me laugh ! My values ?

Yes my values and morals are hideous.

Respect me and I will respect you.

Yes what awful values I have.



Hysterical :biggrin1:

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

seek therapy. You're beyond my powers to help. I only hope I at least planted some nugget in your thick skull that will eventually turn into a thought at some point down the road...

 

[B_hugeaussie]

seek therapy. You're beyond my powers to help. I only hope I at least planted some nugget in your thick skull that will eventually turn into a thought at some point down the road...

The last resort of someone with too much of an ego to admit they are wrong.

Yes resort to insults, that's the way to show your maturity.

Have you thought of seeking therapy ? You seem to be obsessed with the fact that people are homophobes when clearly they are not.