HIV concerns from unprotected oral sex

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by LMX, Nov 6, 2009.

  1. LMX

    LMX New Member

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    I'm really worried that I might have contracted HIV from a recent sexual experience. I hooked up with another student on my college campus whom I knew nothing about. I don't know his sexual history. I found him through adam4adam.com. Even if he did reveal his sexual history, he could have lied about STDs or been unaware of his status. You can't trust anyone. But basically, we exchanged blowjobs. I sucked him and swallowed most of his cum and spit out the rest. I know that HIV transmission through oral sex is really low, but there are other factors. One is that he is black. I now know that young black gay men have the highest prevalence of HIV. I've read that as high as 50% of young, black gay men in non-monogamous relationships are HIV+. I don't know how many people he has had sex with. So let's just assume he is HIV+. Another factor is that when I brush my teeth my gums sometimes bleed or become sore. I didn't brush my teeth before giving him a blowjob. The last time I brushed my teeth was the night before. I didn't brush my teeth again until after at least two hours after the incident. But still, I'm worried about that, too.

    So I'm really freaking out. My integrity for myself has gone done the gutter. No one could make me feel any worse right now than I'm making myself feel. The fact that I have to wait three months until getting tested is torture. I can't focus on classes/studying. HIV has preoccupied my mind since that sexual experience three days ago, and I don't see myself moving past it until I get tested. How can I put my mind at ease? Am I likely to get HIV? I'm really scared right now and don't know what to do. I've talked to my mom. If I get HIV, I will never forgive myself. I'd rather be dead than live with it.

    Please don't bash me about what I did. I bash myself enough. I know what I did was stupid to say the least. Obviously my cock was thinking rather than my brain.
     
  2. BigDallasDick8x6

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    I think it's very low chance that you got anything from oral unless you had open sores in your mouth. (Yikes.)

    Just learn from this experience and move on. Analyze why you did this. Were you drunk? Then resolve not to have sex when you're drunk. Were you super horny? Then jack off or do something before letting it get to that phase. Don't be so consummed with lust that you'll get carried away in the sack and do things you rationally know are wrong.
     
  3. AZNEWGUY

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    like you said, its a very low chance of getting HIV from oral sex. I have to know where did you get these facts about black men ?
     
  4. greengrass_89

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    Dallas has a point. You just have to move on. It's good to have that fear, it will keep you safe in the future, but don't get too hung up on it. I've had unprotected experiences before, and even with guys from a4a. You just have to learn from it and be safe from now on. Next time you want to hook up with someone, just remember how scared and freaked out you were about this experience. The best thing to do is get into a committed relationship, have both of yourselves tested and still use condoms for anal.
     
  5. AZNEWGUY

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    Never mind, I did read some info about the facts you posted. According to CDC, African-Americans get nearly half of all new HIV infections in the U.S. This is very disturbing, but want you to realize its not half of the young black guy out there are HIV +. Again there is a slim chance of you getting HIV from BJ unless there are tons of cuts in your mouth.
     
  6. BJs4You IL

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    Try not to be so freaked out. What's done is done. You CAN prevent it from happening in the future. Chances are, you'll be fine. There is a chance you won't. It would be foolish not to be honest about that. But again, what's done is done. IF, and I say IIIFFF you ended up positive, your life is still worth living. What disturbs me most is the idea you seem to have that if "the worse case scenario" happens, you'll just have to end it all. You can, and many many people do, live with it. Just as you can live with any other disease that people aren't "supposed" to get, eg, cancer, diabetes, etc etc. Your life is worth everything. Not only if you make all the right decisions in life, but regardless. Accept responsibility for what happened, do your best to prevent it from happening again, and know that regardless, you can live a happy fulfilling life.
     
  7. rob_just_rob

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    1) Your chances of getting HIV that way are really low.
    2) Relax a bit. As others have said, it's not the end of the world. If everyone who ever had unprotected sex got HIV, we'd all be dead now.
    2) Get yourself tested (I believe you may have to wait a little while after the encounter that you are concerned about before being tested) to give yourself peace of mind.
     
  8. dandelion

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    Been there, done that. Don't panic. To the best of my knowledge, the blowjob is considered a negligible risk factor. You can't say there is no risk, but as best I remember the risk isn't really different to playing football with someone, crashing into them and getting infected from their blood. It is a theoretical risk but just doesn't happen. If I was going to generalise about black guys it would be, be happy because he was more likely than others to have had a nice body.

    I can't tell you the exact numbers but you will have to find out and sort out in your own mind what the real risks are. Some homework might help you to get a sense of proportion about this. HIV is actually frightening because it is a very mild disease...it doesn't kill you any time soon and is not very infectious! Whereas, being run down by a car because youre preoccupied thinking about HIV is pretty quick and decisive and happens every day. What I mean is, you need to get a handle on the real risks of certain kinds of behaviour and compare them to everyday risks. Mountain climbing is risky. Driving is risky. Walking a street is risky. Life just isn't worth living if you try to remove every risk because there is nothing left you can do. The central advice is, use a condom when fucking.
     
  9. LMX

    LMX New Member

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    I know I have a greater risk dying from driving on the highway. Lightning could strike me down tomorrow, and it wouldn't matter if I had caught HIV. haha

    I think the most upsetting thing would be the regret, not necessarily HIV itself. It wouldn't be that much harder for me to live with HIV. It would be harder to live with the regret of knowing that I could have easily prevented it. HIV would pose a much greater mental health risk than physical health risk for me.

    I wasn't generalizing about black guys. I was trying to determine the probability of him being HIV-positive. Not all black people have HIV, obviously. But a disproportionate amount of them do, compared to other races. I'm not a racist for examining statistics. If I was racist or prejudiced or whatever, I wouldn't have had oral sex with him. lol

    Thanks everyone for the reassuring words. I know there's very little chance of me having HIV, but I'm sure I would go on fine even if I got it. I'm strong-willed once I get through difficult adjustments.
     
  10. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    The chances are extremely good that you're absolutely fine. But if this is the wake-up call that makes you re-examine your motives and behaviour, so be it, and it will have been a lesson well learned.

    Now have the test and stop worrying until you find out all's well. :wink:
     
  11. dandelion

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    I wasn't joking when I said the chance of catching HIV was negligible, and I think people have agreed with this. I'd guess you will calm down to a more sensible steady level of caution in the future. But if I had an HIV test every time I had oral sex with a new guy I'd be down there all the time. But I understand that sense of panic when you first stop and think about this. To be honest, the first time I was really scared was some idiot of a doctor who kept going on so much about the benefits of having a test I was convinced he was trying to break it to me gently (it was fine). I wasn't impressed by his approach.
     
  12. MarkLondon

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    It's unprotected fucking that passes hiv between men in the vast majority of cases. It's a virus that is difficult to transmit compared to most.

    It's not impossible to contract hiv from oral sex, but it is extremely unlikely.

    The higher prevalence of hiv in black americans is probably linked to poverty and ignorance rather than ethnicity itself. So presumeably a college guy is less of a risk.

    If you're seriously worried (and it sounds like you are), get to a clinic and have a course of PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) treatment prescribed. I don't know what the provision is like in the states, but in the UK you'd go to a sexual health clinic or even the Accident and Emergency department of your local hospital and it would be free. It's a month's supply of anti-retroviral drugs and you'll probably also be given anti-nausea and anti-diarrhoea medication to counteract the side-effects. It needs to be commenced within 72 hours (three days) of exposure.
     
  13. LMX

    LMX New Member

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    It's too late for something like PEP now. Plus, they wouldn't administer it to someone with low risk of getting HIV.

    I don't like having to wait three months to get tested. Ridiculoussss.
     
  14. Rowan Ravenseed

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    In australia there is another test you can get where they test for the antigens instead of the antibodies, the antigen test only has a window period of about 6 weeks so if your really concerned ask a health professional about the test for antigens
     
  15. LMX

    LMX New Member

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    HIV/AIDS and Men Who Have Sex with Men (MSM) (for the Public) | Topics | CDC HIV/AIDS

    "In a 2005 study of 5 large US cities, 46% of African American MSM were HIV-positive."

    See, I knew I saw it somewhere.
     
  16. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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  17. AZNEWGUY

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    That is a study. They study or interview a certain amount of men, that's not in general. IF I'm mistaken please someone correct me. I refuse to believe half of the african american gay/bi community is HIV +. Again, it is very disturbing and I thank you for the link.
     
  18. LMX

    LMX New Member

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    Yes, but I'm pretty sure they'd use a sample size large enough to generalize to gay African American men in large cities.

    I don't live in a large city, so it's probably less than that given that sexual networks would presumably be not as large. But still, it is disturbing. As much as 1/3, which I have seen cited in other studies, is too high.
     
  19. Witlof

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    I echo what everyone else has said about not worrying too much, but I realise that you're going to worry anyway.
    I'm assuming this guy is about your age, so his chances of having HIV are way lower than average for his race etc. HIV infection rates increase with age, obviously, since once you have it you can't stop having it. A college-age guy who's only been sexually active for a short time is statistically less likely to have HIV than someone in his 30s or 40s +.
    You also need to remember the comparative safeness of oral sex. All oral sex has a small risk, even when you don't swallow, because of pre-cum. So unless he's wearing a condom when you give a guy head (does anyone actually do that??), there is no 100% safe way of giving head unless you know the guy and have been tested together. Guys (and girls) give head to other guys without being 100% sure of their HIV status millions of times a day, and yet the infection rate from oral sex is negligible. HIV is a very weak virus and the bacteria in your mouth, throat and stomach kill it easily.
     
  20. D_Penruddick Middlefinger

    D_Penruddick Middlefinger Account Disabled

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    Next time you are worried, get your ass to student health services within 36 hours, preferably within 24, and explain what happened. Ask for "Post Exposure Prophylaxis" treatment. They will give you a course of HIV antiviral medication for 1 month. Doing this within 36 hours of exposure dramatically reduces the risk of contracting the disease, if you were exposed. After the 36 hour window closes, you're basically fucked and left to worry for the next 3 to 6 months as you test repeatedly for HIV.

    As other people have said, your risk from oral sex is low. Next time, don't let anyone jizz in your mouth. Get tested in 1 month, again in 2 more, then in 3 more. If you're going to seroconvert at all, it will likely be sooner rather than later.
     
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