I'm really worried that I might have contracted HIV from a recent sexual experience. I hooked up with another student on my college campus whom I knew nothing about. I don't know his sexual history. I found him through adam4adam.com. Even if he did reveal his sexual history, he could have lied about STDs or been unaware of his status. You can't trust anyone. But basically, we exchanged blowjobs. I sucked him and swallowed most of his cum and spit out the rest. I know that HIV transmission through oral sex is really low, but there are other factors. One is that he is black. I now know that young black gay men have the highest prevalence of HIV. I've read that as high as 50% of young, black gay men in non-monogamous relationships are HIV+. I don't know how many people he has had sex with. So let's just assume he is HIV+. Another factor is that when I brush my teeth my gums sometimes bleed or become sore. I didn't brush my teeth before giving him a blowjob. The last time I brushed my teeth was the night before. I didn't brush my teeth again until after at least two hours after the incident. But still, I'm worried about that, too. So I'm really freaking out. My integrity for myself has gone done the gutter. No one could make me feel any worse right now than I'm making myself feel. The fact that I have to wait three months until getting tested is torture. I can't focus on classes/studying. HIV has preoccupied my mind since that sexual experience three days ago, and I don't see myself moving past it until I get tested. How can I put my mind at ease? Am I likely to get HIV? I'm really scared right now and don't know what to do. I've talked to my mom. If I get HIV, I will never forgive myself. I'd rather be dead than live with it. Please don't bash me about what I did. I bash myself enough. I know what I did was stupid to say the least. Obviously my cock was thinking rather than my brain.