All right guys. I just figured a really easy way. ONLY 3 ITEMS!!
1 L Nalgene Water bottle
50 cm fuel tubing (this is a critical piece it must be small enough to create a seal, yet large enough to draw a vacuum)
1 masturbation sleeve
Directions:
Slide about 8 inches of fuel line through the only hole in the sleeve.
Push the sleeve as far down on you penis as possible and fold up the lower end so it looks like an upside down mushroom with your dick and a tube through the center.
Slide the nalgene bottle over the entire apparatus. Provided you have about 5.5 inches of girth to start with and lots of lube, with a little bit of wiggling, you can create a seal and trust me, your mouth has MORE THAN ENOUGH suction power.
If these directions seem unclear, I'll try and give more info. I got the idea from this post and just started grabbing things from around the house. After about an hour of fiddling with different things, this simple solution works great! I mean it was FREE!