Hometowns - Do You Stay Or Do You Go?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by B_ScaredLittleBoy, Oct 11, 2008.

  1. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    So recently as I was on my travels I overheard a conversation on the bus. This guy behind me was talking to his friend and said "I've come to the conclusion that, basically, if you don't get out of [this town] you're life is going nowhere."

    Or words to that effect. I have had talks with my friends about a similar thing...this town is a little old fashioned, a little set in its ways, a little stagnant. I can see how moving away would help especially moving to a big city but then isn't there a lot of uncertainty and risk (personal, financial, etc) in doing that?

    So I ask you:

    Did you or would you move out of your hometown?

    And is that a requirement for personal success and happiness?
     
  2. Gl3nn

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    I don't know if I would move out of my town...

    It's not too far from a big city where I'll likely work later. I don't want to live in the city itself. I enjoy a bit of green and the peace&quiet at a village. That and I want a house, not a flat or so.

    So I might move away, but it won't be too far away.
     
  3. killerb

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    I haven't lived outside of my hometown yet, but I'm working on it.

    I don't think it's NECESSARY to leave your hometown in order to be successful or happy, but sometimes it does help.
     
  4. nudeyorker

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    I grew up in LA and Honolulu, moving to New York opened my eyes to a new way of life and looking at things. I don't think it is the same as coming from a small town to a big city,But these places are the polar opposite if one another. When you have a chance to see new things and look at the world differently and interact with people you have never been exposed to before it is a growing experience. You can always go back it it's not for you.
     
  5. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Well, Like Glenn already said, if you live nearby a big city or have easy acces to be quick in a big city I rather stay on the "countryside" and have a home in stead of an appartment. But a loft would be cool too :p
     
  6. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I grew up in a rather small midwestern town, in the U.S., and fled. I miss it, but I'd be suffocating if I lived there, instead of just visited.
     
  7. Meniscus

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    When I was in high school, the general consensus among my peers was that anyone with any ambition wanted to leave our hometown. We all thought it was boring there.

    Also, I took it for granted that I would be going away to college. My parents liked to fantasize that both my sister and I would be rich and successful, so that we could own fancy homes in other countries, and they could come and live with us.

    Well, I didn't succeed at becoming rich, but I did go away to college as planned. I didn't go very far though. My college was about 65 miles away from home, and the drive only took about 1.5 hours, so it was easy to visit home if I wanted. Nevertheless, I think it was an important and valuable experience to live in another town, and to see what living in another place was like. So when I went to grad school, I decided I wanted to go from the Northeast to Colorado, and I lived there for 4 years. I was a nice visit, and I enjoyed my time there, but I also learned that I didn't want to stay there, that it wasn't the right place for me.

    I moved back to Western Massachusetts, but not to my hometown. I found a job about 60 miles away. 60 miles isn't far, but it can make a difference. There are several colleges in the area, so there's more "culture" here and the people who live here tend to be liberal and well-educated. There's a small but significant gay population (mostly lesbian, unfortunately), and a gay bar about 10 miles away. (My hometown was somewhat conservative and not terribly gay-friendly.) Also, the economy is generally better and there are more job opportunities. The downside is the cost of living is much higher--too high for me to buy a house.

    In other recent threads I've mentioned where I live and how much I like it here, but I'm still very open to settling down somewhere else, expecially if I can find a better job. Since I've been here, I've travelled for work, mainly to Seattle and various parts of Arizona. Having travelled a little bit, I'm very conscious of the fact there are many, many places I haven't seen, and I have a nagging feeling that somewhere in the world there is a town which is "just right" for me, with the right kind of job opportunities, economy, geography, climate, gay community, etc. The problem is, it's a big world, and that place could be anywhere. It could be 10 miles away, or on the other side of the country, or in another country altogether. I have no idea how to go about finding that place.

    I should also say that having lived in a few places, I appreciate my hometown much more than I used to. It has everything you need: stores, banks, restaurants, gas stations, movie theaters, auto dealerships, museums, etc. In nearby towns there's classical music, dance, theater, Shakespeare, and opera. What it doesn't have is a healthy economy or good job opportunities. (Frankly, I wonder what all the people who live there do for a living.) It also doesn't have a gay community. Nevertheless, if I found a good job opportunity there, I'd seriously consider moving back.
     
  8. Tristessa

    Tristessa New Member

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    I left my hometown (in Louisiana) the day after I graduated high school. Since then, I've lived in 6 US states and 3 European countries. For me, leaving was a necessity for success and happiness (I wanted travel, a wider world view, etc), but I'm sure that's individual. It depends on what you want from your life, and whether that's available in your current surroundings.

    And yes there's risk in moving, but security isn't very important to me, I prefer adventure. I have a much better life thanks to taking the chances than anything I can envision in my previous surroundings.
     
  9. Meniscus

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    I agree.

    I don't think one needs to go from a small town to a big city (or vice versa). I'm fairly sure I'd be unhappy in a city. I haven't enjoyed the cities I've visited. I'm also fairly sure that I don't want to live in a town that's a 45 minute drive (or more) away from the nearest grocery store, or department store, or movie theater. (There are many little towns like that in New England. Whenever I drive through one of those towns, I wonder what all those people do? What do they do for a living? What do they do for fun? I have no idea.)

    But if you live somewhere dry, try going somewhere where it rains. If you live in the mountains, try living near the ocean. At least visit some places that are different from where you live.

    My parents have become friends with a retired couple bought the house across the street from them. A couple of years ago, they moved to Massachusetts from North Dakota to be closer to their daughter and grandchildren. At first, they complained a lot about the winters here, and about the humidity in the summer. But they've also said that they wouldn't want to go back to North Dakota. They told me that since they grew up in that part of the country, they never knew how barren it was until they tried living somewhere else. Now that they know, they couldn't go back.

    Moving away from your hometown may help you find something you've been missing your whole life, something you may not have even known existed. It may also help you see what your hometown has that other places don't. Changing jobs and moving sucks, but if you don't like where you are, you can always go back.
     
    #9 Meniscus, Oct 11, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2008
  10. lvsxy808

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    It all depends on your individual personality. For me, personally, I would never have been happy in my decently-sized-but-still-too-small home town. I left at 18, and have never lived in my home town full-time since (which is not to say I fell out with my family or anything - we're still close). I got out at my first opportunity, because I know I'm a city boy at heart.

    But it depends on how you feel. Do you see yourself settling down in a house of your own in that town, waking up on that street and going to those shops? Would you be satisfied in that life?

    Or do you see yourself travelling further afield, exploring new worlds, taking chances which may not work out? Because the thing is, if you don't give it a try, you'll never know. Don't let the fear of it may not working out to every tiny detail put you off and force you to settle for something you know you don't want.

    The old chestnut still applies - it's better to regret having done something, than to regret NOT having done it.
     
  11. arktrucker

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    But, are there mudbugs in Norway?
     
  12. arktrucker

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    I moved away from my home town long ago. There were NO jobs there and things were pretty bleak. Since then, my town has become the complete opposite from when I left. It's now THE place to see the Hollywood elite when they go to NoCal. We thought about moving back a couple of times but who can afford that now!
     
  13. Tristessa

    Tristessa New Member

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    Actually, yes :)

    They just don't know how to cook them properly!
     
  14. nay-nay

    nay-nay New Member

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    i don't even know what i consider my hometown because i moved so much. i can't even name all the schools that i went to growing up.

    it's between two small towns in iowa, and YES. i moved away. i would never live in either of them.

    people just get drunk and do drugs, smoke weed. living paycheck to paycheck. don't go to school. there's no opportunity in EITHER of the towns. the population of both is about 2,500. so yeah...gotta drive 30 minutes to walmart, mcdonalds or other fast food...and the closest mall is an hour away. :rolleyes:
     
  15. D_Relentless Original

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    Yeah, i moved out of my hometown twice and moved back- although i travel to work, its great being back where i know, where i grew up, the school etc and the market and people i know. It's good to be home.
     
  16. Dolcetto

    Dolcetto New Member

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    I moved 3 days after grad and never went back.
    Most of my pals left too and the ones that stayed are all pregnant or doing drugs.

    It does seem that the people that left are more successful but only because they left for collage or trade school or a better job.

    You can always move back.
     
  17. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    I grew up in a small mining village in North East England. I could not wait to escape. My first trip abroad was done on my own.I was 16 and went to stay with Family in New Jersey for three months. That opened my eyes to a whole new world.

    As soon as I could I moved away and travelled extensively for years. I eventually settles here in Tenerife 3 years ago and my wanderlust has finally gone.

    I've been back to my home town a handful of times in the last 20 years. It shocks me to see my school pals have turned into their parents following the same daily routines.
     
  18. D_Sir Fitzwilly Wankheimer III

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    If you have the opportunity you should. I gre up in Buffalo, went to shcool in NE PA stayed for 6 years under grad and grad school. By the time I was done PA felt more like home to me. If been in FL for 10 years all over the state. I'm pretty content now living on a little island. IUt's been a great experience, pretty close to what I've always wanted. Work ahas also uprooted me to serveral parts of the country termporairily. The is just so much out there to see and experience and we are here for such a short time that you would be doing yourself a dis-service not to see what the world is about. I know I haven't setteled down yet. Hermossa Beach is probably my next stop then it's off to Austrailia.

    I would suggest that if you do leave make sure you have a job and spend a decent amount of time visiting to make sure it's what you want. You can always go home but keep in mind if you leave for a considerable amount of time things won't be the same. Home is where you make it, not where you were born or grew up.
     
  19. MidwestGal

    MidwestGal Member

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    currently, I am back in my home town as I have a lot of family support here while I am trying to improve my health issues. Otherwise, if I had a choice i would be somewhere on the East Coast or even a different part of the state. I would not want to be in a big city but don't mind living in a rural setting within a half an hour.
     
  20. whatireallywant

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    I stayed in my hometown WAAAAAAAAY too long! I wanted to move to a city from the time I was a little kid, but of course I was at the mercy of my parents (who hate cities just as much as I hate the country and small towns! :mad:) It was more than just the "there's nothing to do" aspect for me. I was treated very badly by the people in my hometown - most of them have very rigid ideas about gender roles and me being very nontraditional from the time I was a toddler... I was bullied not just by the kids in my class, but treated badly by the kids' parents and also the teachers! And it really didn't get any better as I grew up, either. And going to college? Well, I did but that made me MORE likely to be hated by the people in my hometown! They mostly hated anyone who went to college but especially hated women who went to college. I stayed there for far too long (even after graduating from college) because of financial reasons and extreme shyness.

    However, I have lived in two cities since, and have had no problems in the cities with people not accepting me, or people mistreating me specifically for being ME. Yes, there are some people who are just not nice people in the cities too, but it's a different thing. They don't single ME out to be mean to like the people did in my hometown.
     
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