HOMEWRECKERS!! come out, come out, wherever you are...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by curioustitan, Mar 19, 2011.

  1. curioustitan

    curioustitan Member

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    Are you, or have you ever been a homewrecker?
    Can you be considered a homewrecker if you haven't been caught and your accomplice's marriage/relationship/family life isn't left in tatters or ruin?

    So then, i guess the question, more specifically, should be "are you now, or have you ever been the "other" man or woman in somebody's life?

    How did you, or do you feel about it?
    Tell us a little bit about your experiences, any guilt experienced, your motivations behind your decision etc.
    Do you have a lack of compunction or do you feel that your actions are or can be justified?

    I've been curious about this for a while as someone who comes from a family where a large reason behind my parents divorce was simply...."other" women.

    And to the victims of infidelity, do you know now, or did you know back then what was happening in secret or even right in front of you and simply do, or did nothing about it?

    When is enough.....enough?
     
    #1 curioustitan, Mar 19, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2011
  2. Smallprivate

    Smallprivate Member

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    Well it does take two...you can't blame only one side.
     
  3. latinfreak

    latinfreak Member

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    i used to be sooo old fashioned....was in a long relationship with my ex girl forever and she cheated towards the end...then had some bad relationships after that...i have NEVER been caught but pretty much every "relationship" i have had since has been with either a married man or woman...i used to feel guilty...now i dont...even tho i should...i guess i just shut down the emotional side of it...i dotn go out looking intentionally for these things..i guess they happen...and while u can rarely tell when someone is married at first, i guess i am to blame for continuing it when i find out...i want to stop....its hard though..i currently have 2 married men and 1 married woman i see now..i posted on here based on the fact that you asked for opinions...dont slaughter me for my honesty :)
     
  4. draw22

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    My one friend, i was the other guy in one situtation where the dudes BF was cheating on the other hand, but on his end i wasnt seen as the homewrecker cause he was doing groups and wild shit behind his bf's back. wat he did out weighed wat i did! and i sucked off a guy with a gf when i was 18 and let a married guy suck me off. and fucked a guy with a gf. i guess i might be a HW'er
     
  5. curioustitan

    curioustitan Member

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    I wasn't blaming anybody in my post. What I'm interested in getting, is perspective and not looking to cast aspersions and/or blame.
    If you read my opening post carefully, all I'm wanting is points of view...for now. But thanks for turning this into a mud-slinging post so early on, I'll keep you in mind as a future fire-starter. LOL
     
  6. Charles Finn

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    where to start
    at 13 my sisters married bf was hitting on me he was not married to my sister but to another woman and seeing my sister as well
    a few years later i started fooling around with him
    at 18 i met and fell in love with a 30yo married man with 2 kids he left her for me we were together for 5 years
    for me I give married men what their wife can't a real live big dick.
    I have way too many stories to tell here
    but the last one is i met a guy online went to try to find his place could not no addy no pfone #
    I suspected he had a bf
    and turns out he did
    that is why i prefer to host
    and I do not seek out married men or guys with boyfriends or girlfriends
    but I tend to be more open than most
    one of my bf's even had a gf on the side
    he thought I did not know about her
    she lived a block away with my drag sister I even had the talk with him
    I know you are bi be safe and no guy fucking and do not let any other guys fuck you.
    I am a very open guy sexually
    if i am with one person they have my heart but my body belongs to me.
    I love to play and always will
     
  7. nudeyorker

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    I think the term "Home Wrecker" evokes images of Joan Crawford in The Woman; in that the character was after a man for his money, social position etc and did whatever she needed to do to get her man and left a path of devastation and tears in her flurry.
    With that said I have no experience in this other than being the other man in a married mans life for a few years. He wanted a sexual outlet with no strings and I wanted the same thing so it worked out nicely for the two of us. We were very discreet and went out of our way that no one would find out and be hurt by it.
    I did not feel guilty about it then and have no feelings of regret about it now. We ended the affair on very good terms and have both moved on with our lives.
    The scenarios for an extramarital affairs are many but having a successful one without drama and regret are simple; the two adulterous people have to be completely honest with each other and themselves with what they are doing and they have to know how to keep a secret.
     
  8. D_Seymour Skidmarx

    D_Seymour Skidmarx Account Disabled

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    i was the other man, it wasnt my intention. it was like caught in the moment kinda thing. i felt guilty, but that quickly blew over. yes, im bad. get over it.
     
  9. Bbucko

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    I once wrote here that if I ever found out that I was a "piece on the side" for someone cheating (ie: not in a mutually-agreed upon open relationship), especially after weeks or months, there'd be hellish, unrelenting drama to pay.

    I meant that then and I still do now.
     
  10. novice_btm

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    There's been instance(s), where I've found out "after-the-fact", that there were significant others (wives, fiancées) in the picture. There's also been a particular case, where I was friends with her, and he felt comfortable/stupid/daring/secure enough about me and my discretion that he pursued me mercilessly, when no one else was around.
     
  11. Charles Finn

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    this is why i try to open with my sexuality
    almost everybody cheats at some point
     
  12. helgaleena

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    I don't like cheating. If I am involved with somebody that's not exclusive to me, they golly well better admit to me, not hide me. And if I find out they are hiding someone else from me, or me from someone else, it's a deal breaker.

    The way around this for me is that the two men I currently see were friends, and one introduced me to the other. None of us are exclusive. And we are all divorced. The first one I believe was threatened by how much he liked me, so tried to wean me off himself, but I refuse to kick either of them away, and am not jealous of their other fun. They fill my dance card nicely.
     
  13. Charles Finn

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    right that is why for me it has to be open or no go
     
  14. rob_just_rob

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    I don't think I've ever wrecked anyone's home, although I've had sex with at least 2 married women.

    In one case, their marriage was pretty much done, although it's possible that my presence killed any faint hope of reconciliation.

    In the other case, it was pretty close to a one-night stand, and I'm fairly sure that wasn't the first time she had done that.
     
  15. tigolbitties

    tigolbitties New Member

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    I fuck married men.

    A lot.

    It matters not to me.

    Their wives don't get the job done. Or won't.

    Who cares?
     
  16. Nwwhiteboyatyahoo

    Nwwhiteboyatyahoo New Member

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    YES, you are a home wrecker whether bieng caught or not. Carma baby, watch out....
     
  17. latinfreak

    latinfreak Member

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    thats exactly why i never ever did that kind of stuff and now find myself dumb enough to keep doing it...

    Anyone know a way to reverse karma?
     
  18. helgaleena

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    Good question. Since you asked it, possibly you. And also possibly one of the other points in the triangulations you construct, but to find out you would have to actually ask them.

    I hope you are much better at keeping secrets than moi.

    And I hope you get well rewarded for 'the job' you do.
     
  19. twoton

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    I was involved with a married woman for several months. Her husband had to have known. I met him a couple times but he never said anything to me about it.

    I was totally in love with her, and in some respects I still am even though it was over 20 years ago. We split up and I have no idea whatever happened to her or her marriage. I think she divorced and remarried.

    Sometimes I did feel 'used.' I loved her, and for her it was all about the sex and the excitement of having a (hung) boyfriend. Yes, she told her friends, our coworkers....my friends....

    Guilty? Eh. Not really. She was going to leave him anyway, and after me she did. Would I do it again? No.

    There was another married woman, a one-night stand I hooked up with after a wedding we were both at. I was the Best Man, she was the Matron of Honor. She tried to connect afterward but I cut it off immediately.
     
  20. At.your.cervix

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    If sleeping with a married woman without her husband knowing is being a home wrecker, yes I've been that several times now. And no, I don't feel any real guilt about it. I would, if there had been some sort of bond between the husband and I which I was breaking by having sex with their wives. And even though I've felt some pretty extreme sexual attractions to a few of my friend's wives over the years, I've never slept with any of them (outside of some rather pleasant flights of fantasy), or even made any sexual overtures to them. But again, I've fucked several women who I knew were married. On occaision I hook up with a married woman in my neighborhood.

    But I don't think of myself as a homewrecker. Here's why. First, I've never seriously hit on a woman who I knew was married--regardless of whether I knew their husbands or not. All of the married women who I've wound up in bed with have propositioned me. Their marriages were already at this point; I had nothing to do with that dissolution. My ego isn't big enough to pretend that I was the only man who they'd sleep with outside of their marriage bed. I honestly know that if it wasn't me, it'd be somebody else. It always is.

    But having sex outside of marriage isn't always the end of the marriage. Sometimes it's just a way that the marriage evolves. The married women I've slept with enjoyed some fun, good conversation, and fresh passion from me which their husband's weren't giving them, or giving to them often enough. But I wasn't offering love. Neither were they. Sometimes having an affair provides a women (or a man) with something lacking from their lives which their partners just can't provide, and if they get it somehwere else without having to leave their family, then they often don't. So if I'm not pulling a married woman away from her mariage to be with me, I don't really feel that the nomination of "homewrecker" is really appropriate.

    That might not be the romantic ideal about marriages, but for many, it's a real way to cope with a less than ideal marriage.
     
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