Hi Dooky,
I hope by taking the step to post your feelings and intentions along with expressing yourself in the way you have, has to some degree help to lighten the pressure your feeling at this moment in time.
No one knows how you truly feel inside and how your depression affects you, physically, mentally and emotionally. Depression is a terrible thing for anyone to go through, its like being sucked down in centre of a whirlpool going down and down, unable to get out of it. No matter how much help, love and support family, friends and loved ones give you, it is only you who can stop yourself going further and further down. I say this from personal experience; it is a horrible place to be not having the will to fight back. Believe me Dooky, at some point you will, it may seem light years away but that moment will come, when it does, you will find yourself a stronger person for it.
I too like other members took a massive cocktail of various drugs, it was not a halfhearted attempt or a cry for help I just wanted out of this world and to escape from all my problems.
I too like Nick8 was found by my wife and carted off to hospital, hence I am here to trying to help you. Remember Dooky nothing stays the same, everything is constantly changing, my attempt on my life was 6 years ago now. The experience gave me and understanding and meaning to life, don’t ask me how and in what way, I saw everything from a totally different perspective. I also realised that you don’t have to do anything as drastic as taking your own life for that change to happen. That change is within you Dooky you may not realise it right now but you have the innate power and ability to make that change. It is not that simple or easy to do, but by expressing how you feel, here on LPSG you have already taken that huge step on that ladder of change, it takes even less effort to take the second to that change you are so desperately seeking. Dooky we are all rooting for you my friend and willing you on to take that next step. You know you want to take the next step, then why not do it…. you won’t see any change until you do. To do so is YOU taking control of your life once again.
We are here for you every step of the way, Dooky don’t stop telling us how you feel, continue to post how you feel, how things are changing with each step you take. We won’t let you fall. You have touch the hearts of so many, we are willing you on bud
If you want to chat maybe on MSN or Yahoo then PM with your addy, more than happy to listen
Take care my friend