Honesty......

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by vibrationzzz, Feb 27, 2008.

  1. vibrationzzz

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    Hi....have you ever wondered juust how honest people are?

    How honest are you with the people closest to you? I suppose more importantly, how honest are you with yourself?

    Maybe most of us have had to struggle with this at some time, do we make ourselves vulnerable by being honest or open with ourselves/others? Do we endanger ourselves, our inner being, by not doing so. Maybe we come to a sort of a compromise...'Too-hard to sort out at the moment....I'll put it in the too-hard basket', only to realise that the longer we hold on to it, the bigger the problem becomes, the harder it is to deal with, or worse, being more dishonest.

    I do not believe that we make ourselves vulnerable in being truthful or open with those that love us, and that means your inner being as well, for to be truthful with others we first have to be truthful to ourselves. I believe it is those who listen to us who become the vulnerable ones.

    Are you healthier, happier, stronger when you are honest with yourself and others? Do you find you grow more, feel more, able to do more?

    A little heavy I spose:redface:.....just curious is all.:smile:

    Thanks.
     
  2. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    I think being honest with yourself is more difficult than being honest with others.
    The reason being, perception is a bitch. One way to describe what I'm trying to say is if my husband or a friend really upsets me. My first reaction is anger, and it's deep. Thing is, the anger comes from being hurt. It is much easier being angry with someone, then being sad and hurt. Am I making sense?
    So when confronted, if I haven't sat with those emotions to examine them, I am not being honest with myself or them when I confront them.

    If I am not making any sense, don't mind me, it's before 6am and I had no sleep last night :(
     
  3. Love-it

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    I am often tempted and 99% honest. Sometimes a little "white lie" is better for the person than a full on blunt answer.
     
  4. _avg_

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    Who was it who said, "[Humanities] capacity for greatness is exceeded only by our capacity for self-deception," or somesuch? Yeah.

    I am sometimes honest to a fault with others, but I am constantly catching myself fooling..myself. That kind of deceit is often the most difficult to see of all....
     
  5. BLOC

    BLOC New Member

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    I rarely lie. I've seen what getting caught up in a web of lies and deceit can do to friends and lovers. Not for me!

    It's a clichè, but as Mulder said in X-Files...the truth will set you free.
     
  6. Nala

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    I don't think that being honest makes you more vulnerable, I think in fact it will strengthen you. In my experience you disarm the ones that were out there to hurt you when you open up en leave them nothing to hurt you with.

    It might be different when you're always honest about your feelings for someone, but than again, it's a quick way to sort people out as well.
     
  7. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    There is only 2 people in my life i can be 100% honest with. Me not being one of them
     
  8. ManlyBanisters

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    Actually, dude - that was Jesus :biggrin1:

    John 8:32 - "You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."
    (Or "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." depending on what version you have.)

    The X-Files tag is "the truth is out there" - a little different - I suppose Mulder may well have quoted John 8:32, but I think credit goes to the older source, what? :wink:

    Oh, and it is cliché, not clichè :smile:
     
  9. nay-nay

    nay-nay New Member

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    i am a private person. if i don't want someone to know something, i'll simply just tell them "don't worry about it/no comment" or change the subject or something, rather than lie about it. there are certain things that i have lied about to my parents, simply b/c i just don't want them to know. :tongue: it's very hard for me to lie.

    i pretty much feel like i've been living a lie my entire life. my family doesn't kow that i'm bi, and i dunno if they ever will. who knows. but i'm not comfortable with telling them at this point in my life. it's been hard because i feel like a bad person for it. i don't understand why i can't just tell them and be honest, get it all off my chest. it feels impossible. it's not like they'll disown me or anything, i know they wouldn't.

    but with most other things, i'm very honest. i'm a lot more open with friends and would never lie to them. i have to really trust someone before i open myself completely. i find it hard to trust people.
     
  10. Phil Ayesho

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    NO one is honest.


    You can endeavor to be more honest than you naturally are...

    But everyone hides some things from others. ( not always the same things )

    Everyone rationalizes their OWN conduct to some degree.


    In truth- a large portion of our behavior is out of our control- determined by genes, by prior experience... a lot of it processed by parts of the brain we have no conscious awareness of.


    It is often not so much a lie we tell ourselves... but a story we invent to try and make sense of behavior that makes no sense.
    We invent the narrative AFTER the event so that our actions will seem to be cogent to our own sense of self.

    But I have never seen nor met a truly honest person... just folks who are somewhat more honest than the average.
     
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