Honey, Not Tonight...

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by goodwood, Dec 15, 2008.

  1. goodwood

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    Honey, Not Tonight….





    I have never understood why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

    The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

    I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…”You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

    She then responded to my puzzled look by saying,” Can’t you just love me for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?”

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep…

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

    We went out to a good lunch and then went shopping at a very big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

    She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all.

    She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said “Let’s get a pair for each outfit”.

    We went onto the jewelry dep artment where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

    I started to think she was testing me because she then asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her when I said,” That’s fine, honey.”

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said,” I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,” No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT?”

    I then said “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,” Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

    Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.
     
  2. OCDreamer69

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  3. invisibleman

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    (In an bogan Aussie accent)
    "Like they always say,
    'What's good for the goose
    is always good for the gander...
    Oh, Sheila...' "
    --Melvin Riley for Ready For The World's "Oh Sheila".


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=locRDFcIuiY

     
  4. ZOS23xy

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    Let alone the month or two....
     
  5. CALAMBO

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    great story...now please tell us...true or not?...would love to think it is true...but being the good guy that you are...nah...you did not do that to her right?...longtime married guy here....jealous of your evil mind...let me guess???..still horney huh
     
  6. goodwood

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    LOL.
    Alas, it is not something that I came up with. a friend sent it to me and it was just too hilarious to not share. HOWEVER, i absolutely would do this very thing. lol.
     
  7. nicenycdick

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    or ever again, maybe...
     
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