Hook up advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by jameshawket, Jun 25, 2011.

  1. jameshawket

    jameshawket Member

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    Hey everyone, I've noticed that recently I've been posting a lot on this page haha, that's beyond the point.

    I joined a dating site a while back, it's mostly been unsucessful. I'm looking for a real relationship, and I am absolutely against hooking up just to hook up. Today though, this guy messaged me, he's really cute, seems cool. We messaged for a while, and he told me that he would love to meet up and hang out. I asked what he had in mind and he basically said that he would like to hang out, maybe get coffee, but afterwards go and make out, and he said he'd give me a BJ.

    Now, I'm not gonna lie, this is super tempting, especially since he doesn't live far, and I wouldn't mind getting a BJ. At the same time though, because I'm so adament about hooking up, I'm wondering if it's not fair that I'm not willing to put out for guys who I want to go on legitimate dates with on the first night. Also, I'm a little worried just about the hooking up thing, cuz I've never done it.

    We kinda talked about meeting on Monday, and I'm not sure if I should go through with it. Any advice would be great. I think I know what I want, would like to do, and what I really want, I think I just need help finalizing my thoughts on it.

    Thanks!
     
  2. Astiran402

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    My personal experience with dating sites and going out to bars/clubs is that guys will tell you anything you want to hear to get into your pants and never call you again. I don't mean to sound like a pessimist, who knows, maybe that guy you are talking to might genuinely be a good guy. If you really want to see what hes interested in, you or your dick, you should see if he wants to go out on a few dates, see if you are comfortable and you have fun together, and hold off in the bedroom.

    Depends on what you're looking for I guess, if you really want to just hook up then go for it, but if you wait and find out after a few dates that hes actually into you, then the intimacy will be 100x better because it will go beyond just physical.
     
  3. funguy3

    funguy3 Member

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    I agree - definitely meet up with the guy. Go for coffee, grab an ice cream, hang out, get to know each other. if you're getting a good vibe and can joke with him, if he tries for more physically, tell him "i don't put out on the first date, you'll have to wait to get a piece", and leave it at that. If he's into you for more than just the BJ, it'll happen, and things will develop. if not, you had a nice afternoon, and didn't break you're rule. There's nothing wrong with being upfront with people..
     
  4. Sklar

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    Just let him know that your definition of date doesn't involve sex. It's lunch/dinner/coffee and a movie or a walk.

    If he agrees with that, go for it. The downside could be that this person will go for it himself, just to bet into your pants by date 3 or 4 and then never see/answer your calls again.

    The dating world really can suck at times.

    Sklar
     
  5. joeweekend

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    If you don't meet up, you're never gonna hook up. And if you never hook up, you're never going to shack up.

    Gotta start somewhere and you're going to get anywhere. And sure, there will be some misfires along the way.

    But that's life.

    (Key advice: don't put out because you feel obliged. Practice in front of the mirror: "no, you're a great guy, but I'm just not feeling it, so no thanks.")
     
  6. Charles Finn

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    right meet him but do not have sex if you do not want to
    I love to hook up but that is just me
    see where it goes
     
  7. SprinkleMe69

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    Just go for the coffee and conversation. Agree to meet somewhere so that when you want to leave, you can and you don't have to worry about your ride home. Besides what else do you have planned on a Monday night? I would go just to get outta the house. Good luck!
     
  8. helgaleena

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    It's perfectly OK to change your mind about the sex once you meet in public. Nobody is going to sue you for breech of contract. It's a social situation first and foremost. Take the chance.
     
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