Ok so I met this guy and he's way out of my league, but hes into me. I say he's out of my league cause he's done a lot of modeling work I didn't know this until he told me the last time we hooked up. We both said not looking for a relationship which was cool, but I find out on his fb that he's already in one. Now I'm confused. Not only is he a model and the best sex I ever had, but really cool to hang around. Should I confront him about his relationship or let it ride? Keep in mind we've only hooked up twice so maybe he'll tell me eventually?
Hookup buddy
- Thread starter biyoung
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Why do you care if y'all only hookup????
You must have a problem with him being in a relationship so you should stop. No point in bringing it up he's just gonna find a new hookup buddy. You don't know the terms of his relationship so no point in bringing up something that has nothing to do with you
If he's just a hook up buddy you really have no reason to confront him - unless you want the hook ups to stop. There may be a time when hook up buddy and you want to change the relationship - then a conversation will need to happen. For now it really isn't an issue unless you feel qualms about his infidelity with his partner. That's your call.
My sense is he's so hot and the sex is so good you want to have a more rounded relationship than was offered. Nothing wrong with that - but based on the info you have it appears he may not now, or in the future want to go there. Good luck sorting it all out.
My sense is he's so hot and the sex is so good you want to have a more rounded relationship than was offered. Nothing wrong with that - but based on the info you have it appears he may not now, or in the future want to go there. Good luck sorting it all out.
I haven't yet I'm worried about his partner finding out and me in the middle of it.
bkbll2010
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If you're contented with engaging in hookups, then you don't really need to confront the issue; however, from the way you've described the situation it seems that either A) a part of you does want to take it to the next level or B) you don't feel that it's fair for you both to hookup while he's in a relationship. If either A or B is true, you need to confront the issue ASAP. I know that if B applied to me, I would have BEEN stopped the hookups...my conscience would've ate me up.
Im sort of surprised at the responses...why cant you just say something like hey man I was wondering if you have a bf...I mean its cool if you do...but noticed it on your FB page. As long as you do not say it like you are mad. A one time hookup yeah no need to pry but if it is a regular hookup I dont see a big deal in asking...I think it is a legit question to ask and if you say it in a way that isnt at all threatening no biggie...if he stops hooking because of that..then despite how hot he may be I dont think he is worth keeping on hooking up. It may actually be a relief to him...maybe he thinks you wouldnt want to hook if you knew he had a partner.
Engskysvensky
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Just wanted to point out that if someone is attracted to you then, by definition, they're not out of your league.
When there is no honesty someone is going to get hurt eventually, and i would say run and make sure you aren't the one being hurt.
Ditto! Don't sell yourself short or make yourself feel like you're somehow inferior to him just because he models. You clearly ARE in his league, otherwise he wouldn't have hooked up with you multiple times.
Was he possibly already in the relationship before you starting hooking up? That could certainly be why he wasn't looking for a relationship with you.
Until you communicate, there is no way you can know what the real situation is. Maybe his bf is fine with him hooking up, and maybe not. Asking him about it in a way that is non-confrontational and not charged is the best way to proceed in my opinion. You have every right to know what kind of situation you are in. If you find that you are not able to ask in a way that is not confrontational, then it sounds like there is more at stake for you than you may be willing to admit to yourself and maybe you're wishing that you were the bf and not the hookup? Maybe not, I have no idea -- only you do.
The bottom line is that people react to the kind of energy that is presented to them. If you "confront" him as you put it with that type of energy, he is going to react in a confrontational kind of way. If you ask in a way that is not charged or accusatory, he's likely to just be open about his situation, bringing you into the loop.
Once you have all the facts, it will be much easier to decide what you really want.
Walktheplank
Loved Member
yup, you should stop, I know it sucks, but once you learned that I know it sucks but oh well. respect the boundaries
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