Hookup Horror Stories

[cumvampire90]

Im sure everyone has had a hookup that just turned out horrible.....

I'll start...

I recently was on a personals site and someone hit me up, he looked pretty darn cute.

He comes to pick me up to go to his place and soon as I get in the car...I knew I was in for some trouble. He looked completey diffrent from the pic, it was him...but crack are some drug took effect on him...his face was sunken in...looked 30lbs lighter....and was acting all weird.

Sadly my ass can't say no...so we end up at his place....he pulls out his pipe and starts smoking...his stomach is growling so freaking loud...he gets on top of me and his hip bone freaking stabs me!

After we play with his limp cock for a bit....he gets on his clothes...ofcourse I didn't even get off...which was ok cuz I wanted to get out of there! But before we goes he points out paitings on the wall and tells me how little aliens and flying saucers are in them but you can only see them with a camera....ugh....

 

[EdWoody]

This Pride just gone, my boyfriend and I picked up a cute Oklahoma boy at a bar. We were making out there in the bar, pants were even removed in the bar at one point. By the time we left, he was already pretty drunk. It being Pride, there were no cabs to be found, so we resigned ourselves to walking home. We theorized the walk would sober him up. It did not.

We finally got him home, and we tried to get something started, but he was semi-conscious at best. To carry on would have been little more than rape at that point, so we left him to pass out in our bed, and the two of us went and folded out the couch. Not exactly comfortable, so we didn't get a lot of sleep.

At one point, my ears perked up - it sounded like running water. What could possibly be making that noise this time of night? Open the bedroom door - the boy is standing up, still fast asleep, and pissing all over our bedroom floor. Up the walls, over the curtains, everywhere, but still fast asleep. Once he's finished he just gets back into bed and carries on sleeping.

So the boyf and I are running around with a mop and bucket, laying down towels, while he sleeps. I don't think he even knew he'd done it. When he woke up in the morning, he basically just left without saying much. Needless to say, there was no sex that night.

Oh, and when we got up, we discovered that somebody had been shot on our street corner. Police cordon, blood on the pavement, little green amrkers for where the bullets were found, the works.

 

[D_Harry_Crax]

I've written about this before. The worst ones were when I ended up in bed with three guys, each one many years apart, with microdicks. Then there was the Utah businessman who didn't want to do anything sexual at all unless he could screw me without a condom (that didn't happen). That would be followed by the guys who just lie there in bed and don't want to do anything (I call that doing the "beached whale routine," even if they're thin). Finally, there are the guys who can't seem to reach orgasm no matter what, but they still want to try for it for about an hour.

 

[arliss]

:biggrin1: :biggrin1: funny lol:biggrin1: i love these type of stories

 

[Principessa]

We finally got him home, and we tried to get something started, but he was semi-conscious at best. To carry on would have been little more than rape at that point, so we left him to pass out in our bed, and the two of us went and folded out the couch. Not exactly comfortable, so we didn't get a lot of sleep.

At one point, my ears perked up - it sounded like running water. What could possibly be making that noise this time of night? Open the bedroom door - the boy is standing up, still fast asleep, and pissing all over our bedroom floor. Up the walls, over the curtains, everywhere, but still fast asleep. Once he's finished he just gets back into bed and carries on sleeping.

OMG!!! :eek5: that is a nightmare!

I've written about this before. The worst ones were when I ended up in bed with three guys, each one many years apart, with microdicks. Then there was the Utah businessman who didn't want to do anything sexual at all unless he could screw me without a condom (that didn't happen). That would be followed by the guys who just lie there in bed and don't want to do anything (I call that doing the "beached whale routine," even if they're thin). Finally, there are the guys who can't seem to reach orgasm no matter what, but they still want to try for it for about an hour.

tee hee hee Well I guess it's good to know that it's not just straight guys who do this nonsense too. :biggrin1:

 

[JMeister]

And then I am sure that there are guys that just want to sniff your ass. That must make for a shitty night as well.

 

[shad24]

the absolute worst was supposed to be a sex party. turns out they were all 30=40 yrs than they said. false teeth and bad toupees. they were naked when i got there. all verymuch overweight, they tried to get me naked, not happening, then one, to entice me, lure me? started directing the other two in sex acts. dont know if it was pathetic or scary, the tone he used or the way he narrated. I got the hell out real quick

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

I've only had one bad experience which made me take the decision NEVER to go on blind dates again. I was 18, considered a real hottie and dating a lot but refusing to stick to just one guy, a friend said she knew this really nice guy, in his early 30's (which I considered fairly old at the time), smart, sophisticated, good looking. We arranged a double date with my friend and her guy, me and her blind date guy. He came to pick me up and as he was walking up the drive my mum said who's that, I was expecting him but hadn't told my mum I was expecting anyone, I looked out of the window to see this stooped, grey, wizened guy walking up the drive and blurted out 'oh he's my friends grandad picking me up.' We drove off while I was manically trying to think of a nice way to tell him to bugger off, to add insult to injury when he began talking he had a voice which was encumbered by ever speech impediment and defect going, a lisp, extremely nasal and he sprayed when he spoke. Needless to say we didn't have a great night, I was fuming with my friend all night, refused to talk to him except in monosyllables and left after about 20 minutes pleading a migraine.

 

[D_Mansworthy Meatwrench III]

For me, it is ALWAYS the one-nighters with gals that look SOMEWHAT like their photos, only 40lbs. heavier, and end up being dead fish with all the skills of a tree trunk.

I mean seriously, I had a gal back in Feb. only go an hour before she was wore out, and while she got hers (3X) I only got ONE of mine. I swear........

Other than that, consider having sex with someone so unappealing that you cannot even have an orgasm, and have to fake it, and damn right, I have been forced to do that more than once. But, that's the internet for you, it's a crapshoot, you never know what you are going to get.

To me, the absolute worst is the ones that say they want to try out some big meat, but come game time, their jaw drops, they half-ass give a headjob and then run away because they are chickenshit. Had that too, total amatuers!

Well, that and men who act like women to get pics and shit..........

 

[lafever]

I`d have to say my hookup horror was when i got into a relationship with a woman who was too small for me, we did it twice in a year, because she was small i would eat her out everyday, needless to say i believe i turned her into a lesbian.

lafever

 

[hotdogmustard]

x

 

[auspoz]

Too many!!! Tho there's one stands out: guy who got into it a bit then said "hang on", went to bathroom and came back in panties, stockings and dildo up his arse. Yeah, I couldn't help laughing and walking out.

 

[deleted847535]

My non event horror story had to be 15 years ago I was just coming out and was learning the hardway the internet profiles though I expected the +- 10 lbs and a few years, this one guy took the cake, said he was 6'4" 220 and 35yo, we meet as expected closer to 40, his blond hair was thin and in a rat tail, and he had a goatee that went to mid chest, he was closer to 250, I am like oh jeeze your kidding me right?
Then he smiles at me and is missing his two front teeth, and says mind if I blow you?

 

[Infernal]

A guy I had been fucking once in a while came over with a friend of his. Really hot guy with an absolutely massive cock. We were going to take turns fucking him. He goes into the bathroom to "freshen up" and comes out a few minutes later so fucked up he can barely walk. I don't know what it was he did, but he was wrecked. I sent them both out the door.

There was a guy I had played with a few times. I hadn't seen him online in over a year but he found me and asked me to come over to fuck him while he wife was gone for the night. He had a husky build, but carried it well. I get to his place and he answers the door naked. I see that he's put on well over 100 lbs in the last year and was now morbidly obese. To top it off, he said "Hey, come fuck the fat man" . I didn't know what to say. I just turned around and left.

 

[wappingite]

I rarely do online hookups any more because the freak show ratio is so high. It's just easier to meet people at sex venues where you can size them up, see what they really look like, read their body language, and know if there is any chemistry before wasting time and money. But yes, I have a greatest hits of horror stories. A couple that stand out.

My partner and I hooked up on Manhunt with a nice looking athletic guy for a three way. He was a small dicked guy who wanted to be spit-roasted and humiliated. That's all fun and good. We went over to place, and he lives in an apartment. We get into the action and all is going fine. In the middle of it all his room mate walks into the room and says 'don't mind me'. He sits at a desk and starts surfing online on the computer. The bottom we're fucking is begging us not to stop, and the room mate reiterates not to mind him. We shrug out shoulders and keep fucking. Then the doorbell rings, the room mate had several female friends at the door, and I could hear him saying that 'So and so is getting gangbanged by two hung guys in the other room in a really matter of fact way. At that point, we've stopped and are getting ready to leave. As we're heading out, the friends all come into the room while the bottom is still lying on the couch naked with his legs splayed asking up not to leave. Truly bizarre scene. It made be paranoid we were videoed as some kind of x-rated gag show.

I also have been shit on and vomited on two times each. Some bottoms just neglect to prepare for the festivities. The worst was when I was fucking a guy and pulled out to change positions. I was then flooded in my lap by a torrent of foul smelling diarrhoea. Needless to say, my hard on and desire for sex instantly vanished. Lots of apologies from the bottom. I then showered and left. Shit happens, right?

 

[Calibre84]

oh god this is such a great thread i need to share my story to.

My total horror story was when i was dating GG's and i decided i would try the BBW...i wish to god i never did it as she requested missionary for whatever reason, and i was wrestling her into position every 2 minutes and i couldn't get any momentum going, to which she offered no help.
So in my frustration i double hand grabbed the headboard(Wooden) and used it as leverage to be able to get in and out and finish the damn nightmare sex session,lol.
what happened next is nothing short of life altering hahaha....As i was getting about to the point of no return i felt the headboard weakening but thought it would remain intact for the next minute, so i committed and went for the finish line and was cumming inside her pussy. (no condom-hot lol)
Eventually the thing snapped off and i was still in orgasm, and it came crashing down onto her face and breasts
It was a nightmare, i was finishing cumming and she was flailing her arms around trying to escape, and then at the same time i was lifting it off her she literally bench pressed it and in the confusion it crashed down on her head again.
Lmao she was ok, but then she was angry as hell now, and crawled underneath me off the bed and stood up ranting, and even screamed "fuck fuck fuck because the sperm was dripping down her leg and went and locked herself in the bathroom,lol i put the headboard back as best as possible and knocked on the door and all i got was "fuck off" loll upon this i got my clothes and left. Ended up leaving my socks there in the comotion,lol.

 

[Calibre84]

Bumping this thread.....i want to hear more stories , i love to know i am not alone in my disaster,lol.

 

[Uncutpete]

I was in college. A friend, who knew my endowment and desires, said that I might be interested in meeting a woman he knew. I called and she invited me over for coffee just to get to know each other. She was in her late twenties, gorgeous, and very smart. We started talking and the heat between us began to grow. Although neither of us expected anything from this first meeting, we started kissing and soon we were fucking in the living room. Suddenly there was the sound of a car on the gravel of the driveway. Her eyes, went from shut tight in her third orgasm to wide with fear. Husband???

I was out the back window, into the yard, over the fence with my shoes in my hand before her hub walked in the door. A classic situation that I never bargained for.

 

[wappingite]

Hook-ups with people staying in hotels can be strange as well. It never seems to fail that the guy has to take a call for business or a call from the wife or kids while you're in the middle of some action. I can't believe how many people pick up the phone. Sometimes, it can be good fun like a time in NYC when I blew a Grindr hook-up in the same hotel while he was on a sales call talking about spreadsheets. But more often, they get skittish. One guy received a work call, put it on hold, freaked out and told me to go in the bathroom, close the door, and stay quiet until he was done. I said no thanks, dressed, and left. Call me crazy, but I don't answer the phone during sex, no matter who it is.

 

[bigbulgelicker45]

Long before the Internet, I had placed an ad in the local alternative newspapers and heard from a guy in Canada. He seemed to be everything I was looking for in a guy so, I asked him to meet me at this bar for drinks after work.

Since it was a Friday, I was ready to party (I was still in my early 20's and this was probably the summer of '86) and hopefully gain a boyfriend out of the deal.

He comes over from Canada and we had a nice conversation (while I'm getting plowed) and all of a sudden he says he wants to go for a walk in the park. We weren't in a great part of Detroit and I told him that. After a few more drinks he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. Sure, it was right over the bridge and I kind of knew my way around Windsor. Off we went!

When we had gotten to his house, he fed me more wine, climbed on top of me and we started to make out. I think it was still kind of early (maybe midnight) and everything seemed to be going great.

I couldn't figure out why he kept kissing me neck and then he said in order for him to get off, he loved the sight of blood. Well, the warning bells went off and I don't think I've ever sobered up as fast as I did. He was also playing around with my necktie and I said I wasn't feeling good and should get going. It wasn't happening.

Somehow he managed to lock the door and then continued to make out with me and kept talking about blood. I kept telling him I wasn't feeling good and tried to think of a way to get the hell back home. After a while, he suggested we take a bath together. I came up with some lame excuse but before I knew it we were in the tub.

If I remember correctly, he kept talking about his basement and blood some more. I basically forget how I managed to get out of the tub and get dressed, but when he wasn't looking I had gotten out of the house and he started to come after me. The sun was already up and the only thing I could think of was getting out of the country.

I think he even followed me to the bridge but I wasn't looking back.

The strange part was he was a lawyer and after retelling this, I wonder a) what would have happened if I couldn't get out of the house and b) I wonder what was down in the basement.

A few months later I placed an ad again and he responded.