Hookup: Just Not That Into Him

When you're not that attracted to your hookup...

  • I turned around and left / Told him to leave

  • I still let him get me off

  • I still got him off

  • I proceeded, but couldn't finish and then left

  • Somehow I met him again...


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cedarizzo

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It happened to me once before. I had hooked up with this guy about 5 different times. He always came to my house, he always had on a t-shirt and shorts and he would be either barefoot or be wearing sandals. He reminded me of a stoner, very relaxed and chill. Everything seemed cool and the sex was good.

One night he invited me to his place. It was late at night and when I got to his house, it was pitch black outside. I couldn't see anything, including him. It wasn't until we got inside that I realized he was dressed up as a woman. He was wearing women's lingerie and he had on makeup and a wig. I don't have anything against men that are into dressing up as a woman, but it does absolutely nothing for me sexually. I messed around with him for a couple of minutes. He tried to suck my dick but it wouldn't get hard. I kept my eyes closed and tried to suck his dick, but he kept talking to me like he was a woman. He then asked me to fuck him and I told him that I couldn't do it. I zipped up and went home. I never heard back from him after that.
 

Wine0

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Been back and forth with a guy on the DL for about 6 months. He was super into daddies (I’m not that bothered playing the role, but hey ho!). He wanted to bottom for me and be bred, so I was happy with the concept. On the arrangements, I asked him not to wear any deodorant or aftershave as I’m a bit of a pit sniffer. I picked him up and we went to a nearby motel. Once in the room we got naked, and it was then I noticed the smell. Little Wine0 went floppy, but mind over matter I still got the job done! ;)

It wasn’t his armpits that were ripe, I think he didn’t rinse properly at the douching stage. Didn’t have the heart to tell him at the time.
 
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cedarizzo

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I'm more cock oriented with hookups than anything else, so I've definitely hooked up with guys that I don't find attractive, but have a huge cock
Definitely been there and done that before. When I used to hang out at the adult bookstore during the day, I always saw this one guy come in, get some quarters and head back to the booths. It looked like he had a nice body, but there was something about his face that wasn't attractive. He wasn't butt ugly, but he never turned me on.

One day, I was super horny and there was nobody there. He came in, got his quarters and went to his booth. I said "Fuck it!" Through the gloryhole you never see the face, it only matters what their cock looks like. I went to the booth next to him. I am always very curious about a guy's penis and I always want to see what they have. After he put his quarters into the machine, he dropped his pants and pulled a nice thick 8" cock. I immediately dropped to my knees and started sucking on that as soon as he put it through the gloryhole. He ended up becoming one of my favorites, we would hookup 3 or 4 times a week. We got to the point that if he that I was there, he would go to a private booth and wait on me. The only thing I didn't like was he wasn't into anal. He did fuck me a few times, only cause he could tell I was really into it, but he just didn't get into it. The only reason we stopped hooking up was because I switched jobs and started working days. I really miss him and I always hope I will run into him again sometime.
 

HungBtmVegas

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Definitely been there and done that before. When I used to hang out at the adult bookstore during the day, I always saw this one guy come in, get some quarters and head back to the booths. It looked like he had a nice body, but there was something about his face that wasn't attractive. He wasn't butt ugly, but he never turned me on.

One day, I was super horny and there was nobody there. He came in, got his quarters and went to his booth. I said "Fuck it!" Through the gloryhole you never see the face, it only matters what their cock looks like. I went to the booth next to him. I am always very curious about a guy's penis and I always want to see what they have. After he put his quarters into the machine, he dropped his pants and pulled a nice thick 8" cock. I immediately dropped to my knees and started sucking on that as soon as he put it through the gloryhole. He ended up becoming one of my favorites, we would hookup 3 or 4 times a week. We got to the point that if he that I was there, he would go to a private booth and wait on me. The only thing I didn't like was he wasn't into anal. He did fuck me a few times, only cause he could tell I was really into it, but he just didn't get into it. The only reason we stopped hooking up was because I switched jobs and started working days. I really miss him and I always hope I will run into him again sometime.
That's awesome, despite basically having done EVERYTHING else, I've never been to an arcade with a gloryhole
 

HungBtmVegas

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Been back and forth with a guy on the DL for about 6 months. He was super into daddies (I’m not that bothered playing the role, but hey ho!). He wanted to bottom for me and be bred, so I was happy with the concept. On the arrangements, I asked him not to wear any deodorant or aftershave as I’m a bit of a pit sniffer. I picked him up and we went to a nearby motel. Once in the room we got naked, and it was then I noticed the smell. Little Wine0 went floppy, but mind over matter I still got the job done! ;)

It wasn’t his armpits that were ripe, I think he didn’t rinse properly at the douching stage. Didn’t have the heart to tell him at the time.

I was SO bad at cleaning myself out when I started having sex, I feel so bad for him!
 
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7053701

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I don't get it. Isn't sexual attraction typically a precondition established prior to deciding to hookup with someone?
People show dated pics in profiles, or misleading pics. Even if the pics are accurate, seeing them in person can be an entirely other matter with attractiveness. It is the big drawback of hook-ups, when you haven't met in person like more traditional methods.

To the OP: I would leave. Or say sorry, no thanks and not let them in.

For me, I am pretty particular about who I will meet. I'm not going to be intimate with someone who has been deceptive in some way, or who is repulsive when I see them in person. There isn't an investment there. Saying no is a better option for me than saying yes and feeling like I made a huge mistake.
 

jaybee0560

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People show dated pics in profiles, or misleading pics. Even if the pics are accurate, seeing them in person can be an entirely other matter with attractiveness. It is the big drawback of hook-ups, when you haven't met in person like more traditional methods.

To the OP: I would leave. Or say sorry, no thanks and not let them in.

For me, I am pretty particular about who I will meet. I'm not going to be intimate with someone who has been deceptive in some way, or who is repulsive when I see them in person. There isn't an investment there. Saying no is a better option for me than saying yes and feeling like I made a huge mistake.

Its happened to me a ton of times - guess I might be fussy.
First time was about 20yrs back - was my first foray into hooking up from personals in Craigslist when I was staying at a hotel in Chicago. Some bloke messaged my -didn't have any pics but assured me he was good looking/ well built etc - lived about 20 miles away. Did the whole "I never hook up without pics" thing and he insisted if he wasn't my type, that was fine so .. thought, "What the hell" and arranged a meet out at a bar.
Well - he wasn't good looking at all ,, tall, Skinny, pasty skin - I mean, he may have been someones type but he was the opposite of what I was looking for - We chatted for a while the whole time I'm tossing up between "well he made the effort to drive all this way" and "Yup - there is no way I can do this" .. decided to stand up for myself an just tell him that this aint gonna work out. He was gracious enuff but it did make me feel bad.
Another time I was in a hotel in Sydney - on gridr - some bloke looked great in his profile shots so we organised a hookup at his. Caught a taxi to his, he opened the door and musta been 20 years older than his profile pics and not good for the passed time .. we sat down, he made me a ridiculously strong Gin and tonic, chatted for a while but there was absolutely no chemistry at all .. I think we both decided that it wasn't gonna work and I left and ended up at a sauna to justify the cab ride in.
Another time - was in a Perth Hotel - another bloke hit me up on Grindr - looked good in his profile pics and he lived in an apartment just a short walk from the hotel I was staying in so - gave it a shot .. Looked nothing like his profile pics. Was balding (which isn't a real issue but he'd kept what was left of his hair long which made him look kinida homeless/deranged. Apartment was amazing with an amazing view and almost considered going thru with it just for the view . he was nice enuff, super freindly but just didn't really think I'd be getting it up so .. I just told him I don't think this is gonna work out and made my excuses to leave. Ended up back at my hotel when I got hit up by some bloke who I saw checking me out at the front of the hotel .. Not super attractive but handsome enuff with an amazing body - had him over my room -turns out he had an amazing dick as well so ..ended up being quite a good night
 
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dreambridger

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It's happened and usually it's mutual when it isn't working. it's handled maturely, directly communicated that it isn't working, and everyone is wished a nice day. Really one of my favorite things about gay men is the maturity during hookups.

I've experienced more instances of discomfort and immaturity in romantic relationships when sex isn't working one night. Strange how hookups are often more understanding than one's own partner.
 
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malakos

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People show dated pics in profiles, or misleading pics. Even if the pics are accurate, seeing them in person can be an entirely other matter with attractiveness. It is the big drawback of hook-ups, when you haven't met in person like more traditional methods.

I see. I guess I didn't realize how common it is to hookup with someone before having a good sense of the person's appearance.
 

LPSG Simon

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One night he invited me to his place. It was late at night and when I got to his house, it was pitch black outside. I couldn't see anything, including him. It wasn't until we got inside that I realized he was dressed up as a woman. He was wearing women's lingerie and he had on makeup and a wig. I don't have anything against men that are into dressing up as a woman, but it does absolutely nothing for me sexually. I messed around with him for a couple of minutes. He tried to suck my dick but it wouldn't get hard. I kept my eyes closed and tried to suck his dick, but he kept talking to me like he was a woman. He then asked me to fuck him and I told him that I couldn't do it. I zipped up and went home. I never heard back from him after that.
Surprise cross-dressing might be a deal breaker. Not because of the CD itself, but you kind of have to give people a heads up that that's on the menu!
 
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9916971

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Have you ever shown up for a hookup, and realize you're just not attracted to the person?
What happens next?

*poll included. Multiple choices allowed.

I'm not trying to derail your thread. I haven't dated yet but this has always been a concern for me (on both ends...what if I just don't like the guy/what if the guy simply doesn't find me attractive enough). If I were on a date with a guy and he does not find me attractive - I would prefer to be told upfront thought (no sense in him wasting his time if he can't get past my appearance).
 
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Jordan88

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I'm not trying to derail your thread. I haven't dated yet but this has always been a concern for me (on both ends...what if I just don't like the guy/what if the guy simply doesn't find me attractive enough). If I were on a date with a guy and he does not find me attractive - I would prefer to be told upfront thought (no sense in him wasting his time if he can't get past my appearance).
Well kid, the reality is even if he's not that into you, he'll may still play the part until he can hit it and quit it.
Your lesson here is don't give up that ass so easily... there's plenty of other dicks out there that are attached to more emotionally available humans.

This thread was meant to be more about hookup culture as to whether you continue with the sex even though you find them unattractive. So in my example above, yes that dick has found you unattractive during the date, but is still looking to pound your ass.
 

51arledge

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Twice. In all these years. I guess I'm fairly careful or cautious.
The first guy had "advertised" himself on a hookup app as being a muscular gym body. If he was, it was 50 pounds ago. I walked in the door, talked for 2 minutes, tops, and said, "You're nothing like the photo or the description. Goodbye."

The second guy, just about a year ago, also claimed to be a muscular fit guy who worked out 6 times a week. He was a flabby real estate agent living in a soulless townhouse. I walked in and thought, "How did I walk into this place?" We had chatted a lot, but as soon as I saw him, he felt totally fake. For the first time ever, I couldn't get hard. I apologized, got dressed and left. I hate real estate agents!
 
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deleted1074483

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I don't get it. Isn't sexual attraction typically a precondition established prior to deciding to hookup with someone?

don't know about the US but there are sites other than grindr or whatever in the UK like vivastreet.co.uk which allow one to post without any pic at all or one that doesn't show much - in the days when i was still doing hookups purely for sex, i'd ask for recent torso/face pix (i find dick and ass pix a bit of a turn off in such situations) and on the basis of what they've sent i have met guys, however, as others have said they can be old pix or just taken from the right angle and you get there and its like 'ermm sorry nope' - i usually state up front before we meet that neither is under pressure and if we get there see each other and its not happening no worries' so yes i'm happy to say thanks but no thanks - harder when they turn up at your home though!
 
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deleted1815071

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A few years back, I met a guy on Adam4Adam when that was a thing. On his profile, he said he was 37, and my being 20ish at the time, I didn't have an issue with that at all. Of course he didn't have a a face pic, and that was fine. You know, at that age, the only head thinking is the one below the belt.

So I got ready and headed to his house, and when he answered the door, he looked nothing like the profile pic he had. (The one he had was a bit in shape [maybe it was him when he was younger]) So as soon as I walked in, he grabbed me and started kissing me really quickly. Maybe he was afraid that I would leave, but I was already committed to the job.

So he was a bottom, but he had the biggest dick I have ever seen. I mean, I have a big mouth (much bigger than average) and my dick is about 8 inches long and I can't fit it in a toilet roll soft or hard.. I could barely but this guy's head in my mouth without feeling like I was biting down on it.

We did have a great time, but he was much older than his profile said he was. He was probably in his late 40s to early 50s. That was not a real problem for me because I am attracted to older guys anyway... but he could have been honest.

Also, I ended up spending the night at his house, and we woke up, I came again (but he couldn't and that was okay).

He tried to call me back to meet him again, but at that point I was in a relationship and I wasn't going to do that.

So yeah...