Been married for 45 years. It's been a good life but the last 10 or so years have been pretty low frequency on the sex (fucking) front. Wife long ago went through menopause and while she takes some hormone supplements, she takes only one-half of what the Dr prescribed for her. Her libido just seems to be really low. And, I can't say (I sure hope) it is me because I'm in shape, keep myself clean, do most of the shopping (groceries, home needs), am a partner in caring for the home and grandkids.
We sleep together nude every night and have since we got married. I never fail to snuggle her when she climbs into bed and, truth be told, I know we're not going to have sex but I do enjoy pressing my cock against her ass. I've tracked our sexual activity for about five years, recording on a calendar when we have sex. I think we're averaging about 30 times annually (PIV) which is about 1/10 the amount of sex I'd like. I do get oral and handjob a couple times a month, about half of those without asking.
I do masturbate regularly and have developed a habit of edging daily. I'll usually cum twice weekly through solo play - it helps keep me sane and keeps me in a better mood overall.
We've had "the talk" many times over the last 10 years. Each time ends with her saying, "I need to do better". No disagreement here. Those words, however, have never turned into sustained action. Oh, for the next week or so we might actually have sex or she might give me a couple of handjobs, but this has never become a regular thing.
It's a damn shame. I'm healthy, she's healthy, I still find her very attractive and very desireable.
My advice for others in the same boat - have "the talk" to make yourself feel better and to ensure that your partner understands how important partnered sex is to you. And, be prepared to step-up your own efforts to pleasure yourself. That is the MOST certain way of ensuring some sort of sexual satisfaction, as unsatisfying as it may be.