HungJordan: I am always horny! Reading some of these post, stories etc & chatting on here makes it even worse... :
captainstupid: nothing wrong with being a little horny devil, just be careful where u put your pitchfork
petite_girl: sometimes, I miss my guy so much that I start yearning to rip the clothes right off his back and have my way with him.
I don't know... during certain times of the month I get really horny and all thoughts of saving it for marriage get thrown out the window. It's a good thing that my boy has more self-control than I do.
I don't know... during certain times of the month I get really horny and all thoughts of saving it for marriage get thrown out the window. It's a good thing that my boy has more self-control than I do.
9cyclops9: petite_girl!!
You're waiting also? That's great! So am I. It's a rare thing these days. Stick with it! It will be worth it at your honeymoon. ;D
John
You're waiting also? That's great! So am I. It's a rare thing these days. Stick with it! It will be worth it at your honeymoon. ;D
John
petite_girl: cyclops--
the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak... my boy didn't wait, but he knows how important it is for me to wait for marriage so he is showing some great restraint.... hehe.
the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak... my boy didn't wait, but he knows how important it is for me to wait for marriage so he is showing some great restraint.... hehe.
Tender: [quote author=petite_girl link=board=women;num=1064768529;start=20#25 date=10/06/03 at 20:29:35]cyclops--
the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak... my boy didn't wait, but he knows how important it is for me to wait for marriage so he is showing some great restraint.... hehe.[/quote]
just dont drag out that wait time so that it is miserable...
the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak... my boy didn't wait, but he knows how important it is for me to wait for marriage so he is showing some great restraint.... hehe.
[/quote]just dont drag out that wait time so that it is miserable...
Valkyrie: Maybe it's a cultural issue - but I've never understood the whole thing about "waiting until I'm married"...
If you have a good relationship, if you feel comfortable with the other person, if you want to explore each other, if your body is aching for it, if you take the necessary precautions as to pregnancy/STD's/etc - what's the point in not doing it other than fulfilling some stereotypic expectation that you should "save yourself until that day"?
Sorry if I sound harsh, but I guess you might say I have something of a problem with what seems to be society's expectations that sexuality (especially women's sexuality) is something that should be controlled, something we should be ashamed of, something that is "reserved" for only that special someone.
What if you _do_ get married and realize (too late...) that you are on entirely different wavelengths when it comes to sexuality - do you get a divorce or continue less than satisfied for your entire life? And no, I don't believe you can know this without actually being together with the partner in question - talking is one thing, experience is another. Sex is definitely not the only thing keeping a relationship together, but it is an important part of an intimate relationship.
Frankly - I don't understand it...
/Val
If you have a good relationship, if you feel comfortable with the other person, if you want to explore each other, if your body is aching for it, if you take the necessary precautions as to pregnancy/STD's/etc - what's the point in not doing it other than fulfilling some stereotypic expectation that you should "save yourself until that day"?
Sorry if I sound harsh, but I guess you might say I have something of a problem with what seems to be society's expectations that sexuality (especially women's sexuality) is something that should be controlled, something we should be ashamed of, something that is "reserved" for only that special someone.
What if you _do_ get married and realize (too late...) that you are on entirely different wavelengths when it comes to sexuality - do you get a divorce or continue less than satisfied for your entire life? And no, I don't believe you can know this without actually being together with the partner in question - talking is one thing, experience is another. Sex is definitely not the only thing keeping a relationship together, but it is an important part of an intimate relationship.
Frankly - I don't understand it...
/Val
Tender: [quote author=Valkyrie link=board=women;num=1064768529;start=20#27 date=10/07/03 at 02:09:40]Maybe it's a cultural issue - but I've never understood the whole thing about "waiting until I'm married"...
/Val [/quote]
for me it was a religious issue.
and the fact that yeah i messed up and did it... have huge regrets,,,
and well it can really ruin a good relationship.
it just involves alot more than just 'sex'.
to me there has to be the emotional and part of that is knowing he loves me enough to have made that commitiment. its not something i want to give to just anyone...
IMHO it is better to be married first.
like i said, i still regret it :'(
sure others here have as well...
/Val [/quote]
for me it was a religious issue.
and the fact that yeah i messed up and did it... have huge regrets,,,
and well it can really ruin a good relationship.
it just involves alot more than just 'sex'.
to me there has to be the emotional and part of that is knowing he loves me enough to have made that commitiment. its not something i want to give to just anyone...
IMHO it is better to be married first.
like i said, i still regret it :'(
sure others here have as well...
GreenEyes: Ok I wanted to give this topic some time but unfortunately I haven't had much time lately.
I truly understand wanting to abstain from sex until it is with the person you marry. I was like that in my youth. Somewhere along the line I lost my virginity to my first love right before I turned 20. Both of us at such a young age were talking marriage and I felt in my heart that he would be the one that I would spend the rest of my life with. Well, that didn't happen. Three years, give or take we broke up.
After that break up I became a born again virgin sort to speak. Fell into several monogomous relationships (obviously at different times) where I felt they could be the ones. Each relationship was different but each one could have been minni marriages without the ceromonies and that piece of paper. I did love each one in my own way but looking back I do not think I was ever in that all powering "in love" with any of them specifically. Sure I thought I was at times but after a while poof I got over them.
When I reached 30 and I was still single something overcame me with empowerment. I became and no offense men like a stereotypical way a man thinks. To see sex as only sex and nothing more. I think that was the first time in my life I started to have one nighters.
Trust me in this different men do perform differently and some have similiar likes while others do not. Again in a relationship I would hope that both parties involved are open to learn what their partners enjoy and are willing to explore what the other is into without crossing over any lines.
Now at 37 and yearning to be in a monogomous relationship I look back and realized I should have taken advantage of my sexuality. There is nothing wrong with a woman having sex just as well as there is nothing wrong with a man. I suppose if I knew at an earlier age I would have been single at this age I would have utilized my sexuality more. Again it all depends on the adults and the situation.
Realize I am not suggesting that anybody goes out and loose their virginity or become sexually crazy. Please under no circumstances say read what Green Eyes wrote and have sex with me. No matter what making love is far different than having sex. It is more intense when feelings are involved. At the same token it can be very erotic when no feelings are involved also, however the next day it will be lonely.
I do commend those that are waiting. I know I tried to abstain when I was younger and several times in my 20's by being the good girl. It is something special to give to another and make sure it is the right person you give it to be it marriage or plain and simple your first love.
First loves are the most beautiful thing out there but it is also one of the hardest things to hold on to. I have talked to too many people that said that their partner was their only one and they feel that they missed out on things. Meanwhile I am envious of them for they were able to keep that love and some just need to find their way back to it. The grass is always greener.
OK I rambled enough and I hope some of it makes sense to those out there. It all depends on what is going to make YOU happy in the long run. To wait or not to. Whatever you decide it is your decision and that is a good thing that you can decide for yourself.
I truly understand wanting to abstain from sex until it is with the person you marry. I was like that in my youth. Somewhere along the line I lost my virginity to my first love right before I turned 20. Both of us at such a young age were talking marriage and I felt in my heart that he would be the one that I would spend the rest of my life with. Well, that didn't happen. Three years, give or take we broke up.
After that break up I became a born again virgin sort to speak. Fell into several monogomous relationships (obviously at different times) where I felt they could be the ones. Each relationship was different but each one could have been minni marriages without the ceromonies and that piece of paper. I did love each one in my own way but looking back I do not think I was ever in that all powering "in love" with any of them specifically. Sure I thought I was at times but after a while poof I got over them.
When I reached 30 and I was still single something overcame me with empowerment. I became and no offense men like a stereotypical way a man thinks. To see sex as only sex and nothing more. I think that was the first time in my life I started to have one nighters.
Trust me in this different men do perform differently and some have similiar likes while others do not. Again in a relationship I would hope that both parties involved are open to learn what their partners enjoy and are willing to explore what the other is into without crossing over any lines.
Now at 37 and yearning to be in a monogomous relationship I look back and realized I should have taken advantage of my sexuality. There is nothing wrong with a woman having sex just as well as there is nothing wrong with a man. I suppose if I knew at an earlier age I would have been single at this age I would have utilized my sexuality more. Again it all depends on the adults and the situation.
Realize I am not suggesting that anybody goes out and loose their virginity or become sexually crazy. Please under no circumstances say read what Green Eyes wrote and have sex with me. No matter what making love is far different than having sex. It is more intense when feelings are involved. At the same token it can be very erotic when no feelings are involved also, however the next day it will be lonely.
I do commend those that are waiting. I know I tried to abstain when I was younger and several times in my 20's by being the good girl. It is something special to give to another and make sure it is the right person you give it to be it marriage or plain and simple your first love.
First loves are the most beautiful thing out there but it is also one of the hardest things to hold on to. I have talked to too many people that said that their partner was their only one and they feel that they missed out on things. Meanwhile I am envious of them for they were able to keep that love and some just need to find their way back to it. The grass is always greener.
OK I rambled enough and I hope some of it makes sense to those out there. It all depends on what is going to make YOU happy in the long run. To wait or not to. Whatever you decide it is your decision and that is a good thing that you can decide for yourself.
9cyclops9: [quote author=Valkyrie link=board=women;num=1064768529;start=20#27 date=10/07/03 at 02:09:40]Maybe it's a cultural issue - but I've never understood the whole thing about "waiting until I'm married"... [/quote]
For me, it is also a part of my religion. And it makes much more sense. Besides all of the diseases running around out there, sex is too intimate, especially the first time, to just "explore" with someone you don't even love. Even when you think you do. Down the road, if you don't stay with that person, you are going to have some guilt. At least I know I would. Waiting until I'm married is about more than religion, although that is a huge part of it. It is one of the best ways to show your spouse that you really love them.
And I don't buy that crap about if you wait till you get married you won't know what you are doing and you'll both be bad at it. Half of the fun is experimenting and finding out exactly what each other likes. Much better to wait, and have all the excitement of finding out EVERYTHING with the same person.
Just my thoughts.
John
For me, it is also a part of my religion. And it makes much more sense. Besides all of the diseases running around out there, sex is too intimate, especially the first time, to just "explore" with someone you don't even love. Even when you think you do. Down the road, if you don't stay with that person, you are going to have some guilt. At least I know I would. Waiting until I'm married is about more than religion, although that is a huge part of it. It is one of the best ways to show your spouse that you really love them.
And I don't buy that crap about if you wait till you get married you won't know what you are doing and you'll both be bad at it. Half of the fun is experimenting and finding out exactly what each other likes. Much better to wait, and have all the excitement of finding out EVERYTHING with the same person.
Just my thoughts.
John
Tender: [quote author=GreenEyes link=board=women;num=1064768529;start=20#29 date=10/07/03 at 19:03:56]
It all depends on what is going to make YOU happy in the long run. To wait or not to. Whatever you decide it is your decision and that is a good thing that you can decide for yourself.
[/quote]
thats just the thing though for me,
i *thought* that i would be happy with the decision i made,
but well i was
very
wrong. :'(
and it was a decision, not like a heat of the moment thing. and looking back, i still say that i loved him.
but it just wasnt meant to be for some reason.
at that i say i very much agree with what john said here.
but on the other hand,
i can very much understand what green eyes is saying about the 'if i knew' thing. sometimes its easy to look back and see all the time and opportunities missed... not just talking about sex here... but life in general...
when we live every day thinking tomarow will be better or different somehow...
sooner or later you wake up to see that today was yesterdays tomarow... make sense??
my grandma always used to say...
dont wish your life away...
sigh.
well all that babbling...all of it makes sense i guess, but doesnt change anything...
Tender
It all depends on what is going to make YOU happy in the long run. To wait or not to. Whatever you decide it is your decision and that is a good thing that you can decide for yourself.
[/quote]
thats just the thing though for me,
i *thought* that i would be happy with the decision i made,
but well i was
very
wrong. :'(
and it was a decision, not like a heat of the moment thing. and looking back, i still say that i loved him.
but it just wasnt meant to be for some reason.
at that i say i very much agree with what john said here.
but on the other hand,
i can very much understand what green eyes is saying about the 'if i knew' thing. sometimes its easy to look back and see all the time and opportunities missed... not just talking about sex here... but life in general...
when we live every day thinking tomarow will be better or different somehow...
sooner or later you wake up to see that today was yesterdays tomarow... make sense??
my grandma always used to say...
dont wish your life away...
sigh.
well all that babbling...all of it makes sense i guess, but doesnt change anything...
Tender
GreenEyes: Ok realize that all of this talk still hasn't stopped me from feeling horny. ;D
Bottom line is you make the choices that will make you happy in life. Hopefully they are the correct choices but definitely ones you have to live with.
Bottom line is you make the choices that will make you happy in life. Hopefully they are the correct choices but definitely ones you have to live with.
Tender: [quote author=GreenEyes link=board=women;num=1064768529;start=20#32 date=10/08/03 at 14:10:37]
Ok realize that all of this talk still hasn't stopped me from feeling horny. ;D
[/quote]
ditto a hundred times LOL!
Ok realize that all of this talk still hasn't stopped me from feeling horny. ;D
[/quote]
ditto a hundred times LOL!
petite_girl: [quote author=Valkyrie link=board=women;num=1064768529;start=20#27 date=10/07/03 at 02:09:40]Maybe it's a cultural issue - but I've never understood the whole thing about "waiting until I'm married"...
[/quote]
I have known so many people who have given up their virginity to a guy and then regretted it afterwards. It's not like I haven't done *other* sexual things with guys, but I regret ever even kissing some of the guys that I've kissed. Empty orgasms depress me, too.
I want to wait for marriage because I know I would marry the one I love, and I wouldn't give it to anyone but the one I love. That and the fact that I want a guy to love me for me; not for the sex.
[/quote]
I have known so many people who have given up their virginity to a guy and then regretted it afterwards. It's not like I haven't done *other* sexual things with guys, but I regret ever even kissing some of the guys that I've kissed. Empty orgasms depress me, too.
I want to wait for marriage because I know I would marry the one I love, and I wouldn't give it to anyone but the one I love. That and the fact that I want a guy to love me for me; not for the sex.
sammygirly: I don't abstain and I didn't abstain - however, intimate sexual relations is not something that I myself can ever take or give lightly.
I don't frown upon those who can - but I need serious emotional intimacy before I can be physically intimate. My sexual partner count is VERY low and I like it that way
I don't frown upon those who can - but I need serious emotional intimacy before I can be physically intimate. My sexual partner count is VERY low and I like it that way
GreenEyes: Horny is a good state of being.
With what I am reading of you Wolfie I am sure the woman you choose to loose your virginity to will be very lucky.
Again I was blessed that I was in love when I lost mine. I think it made it so much more special.
With what I am reading of you Wolfie I am sure the woman you choose to loose your virginity to will be very lucky.
Again I was blessed that I was in love when I lost mine. I think it made it so much more special.
Tender: [quote author=GreenEyes link=board=women;num=1064768529;start=20#37 date=10/09/03 at 02:35:19]Again I was blessed that I was in love when I lost mine. I think it made it so much more special. [/quote]
i didnt find it a blessing at all...
for me it just hurt too much when the relationship ended.
would have been easier if it were just a fun thing for my first time, instead of an emotional thing. i guess i didnt juggle the two together well...
depends on the person maybe.
but then on the other hand, well i cared alot for him, so i glad it wasnt just anyone ...
i know! double talk... :-/
Tender
i didnt find it a blessing at all...
for me it just hurt too much when the relationship ended.
would have been easier if it were just a fun thing for my first time, instead of an emotional thing. i guess i didnt juggle the two together well...
depends on the person maybe.
but then on the other hand, well i cared alot for him, so i glad it wasnt just anyone ...
i know! double talk... :-/
Tender
Valkyrie: Some additional comments on the subject of abstaining from sex until you're married. I hear what you say and I can understand the issue about religious beliefs - in my opinion that would be probably the most common reason for waiting. But, I do have issues even with this definition - as it's commonly applied (at least in the US).
Please see the following only as a general discussion - the comments are not aimed at any particular person in this thread, or otherwise any particular person defined.
For once - I have a hard time understanding how one can define sex as too intimate or too valuable to share with someone else than your husband/wife - and at the same time explore many venues of sexuality with someone who is "only" a boy-/girlfriend - oral sex, heavy petting, kissing, caressing, getting undressed together etc.
What is less intimate with those activities - other than the fact that the hymen of the woman is not broken and thus her physical virginity preserved? Or are those activities not seen as sex in the proper definition? In that case why, as they are usually considered an integral part of most people's sex life?
What would the reaction be to an activity such as anal sex? This has been used, and is to my knowledge in some cultures still used, as a way of having sex before marriage but still preserving the woman's physical virginity? Is this also less sex than penetrating sex involving the vagina and the penis?
To me it sounds more than a bit hypocritical to say that you will abstain from sex before marriage, and at the same time explore all (or close to all) avenues of sexuality but penetrating vaginal sex.
Again - take the same activities defined above - oral sex, kissing, heavy petting, caressing, getting undressed together - and put them in the context of cheating, i.e. the same activities taking place outside of marriage, with someone who is not your husband/wife. If the definition is that these activities are not sex - as is the implied definition since they are OK before marriage (under the assumption "abstaining from sex before marriage") - wouldn't they also be seen as "not cheating" when performed with someone outside of the marriage?
My gut feeling is that most people would define most (if not all) of the above activities as cheating and breaking the vow of fidelity between husband/wife. Why the double standard - the activity would be OK before marriage, even when abstaining from sex before you're married, but the same activity performed with someone else than your husband/wife would be considered cheating?
Maybe it's a fruitless discussion - but as outlined above I have a hard time understanding why there is such a double standard... To me it's more about control over people's sexuality than about "common sense" or enjoying life. Control in particular over women's sexuality as it's usually (but not always) the woman's virginity who is implied when abstaining from sex before marriage. This is usually the case as the woman's virginity is the only one even remotely possible to verify (even if also this can be hard) - for a man there is no possibility to physically verify if he is indeed a "virgin" or not.
As an entirely different issue (but still relevant to this discussion). It is only in cultures where inheritance and name is related to the male side of the family that there is this focus on preserving a woman's virginity until marriage. Likely because of the "need" to ensure that the offspring born to a woman is fathered only by her legal husband - no one else. With preserving a woman's virginity until the day she is married, it is also implied that the man can rest assured that his semen has impregnated her and that the offspring is indeed his.
And for the record - I'm not advocating getting out and having sex with just anyone you see - that's not the issue. But if you are in a long term relationship, you feel comfortable with the other person, you have sexual feelings for the other person, you're exploring other sexual avenues with this person and you want to have penetrating sex with this person - why let religion/societal expectations/history/other issues dictate what you can and cannot do?
/Val
Please see the following only as a general discussion - the comments are not aimed at any particular person in this thread, or otherwise any particular person defined.
For once - I have a hard time understanding how one can define sex as too intimate or too valuable to share with someone else than your husband/wife - and at the same time explore many venues of sexuality with someone who is "only" a boy-/girlfriend - oral sex, heavy petting, kissing, caressing, getting undressed together etc.
What is less intimate with those activities - other than the fact that the hymen of the woman is not broken and thus her physical virginity preserved? Or are those activities not seen as sex in the proper definition? In that case why, as they are usually considered an integral part of most people's sex life?
What would the reaction be to an activity such as anal sex? This has been used, and is to my knowledge in some cultures still used, as a way of having sex before marriage but still preserving the woman's physical virginity? Is this also less sex than penetrating sex involving the vagina and the penis?
To me it sounds more than a bit hypocritical to say that you will abstain from sex before marriage, and at the same time explore all (or close to all) avenues of sexuality but penetrating vaginal sex.
Again - take the same activities defined above - oral sex, kissing, heavy petting, caressing, getting undressed together - and put them in the context of cheating, i.e. the same activities taking place outside of marriage, with someone who is not your husband/wife. If the definition is that these activities are not sex - as is the implied definition since they are OK before marriage (under the assumption "abstaining from sex before marriage") - wouldn't they also be seen as "not cheating" when performed with someone outside of the marriage?
My gut feeling is that most people would define most (if not all) of the above activities as cheating and breaking the vow of fidelity between husband/wife. Why the double standard - the activity would be OK before marriage, even when abstaining from sex before you're married, but the same activity performed with someone else than your husband/wife would be considered cheating?
Maybe it's a fruitless discussion - but as outlined above I have a hard time understanding why there is such a double standard... To me it's more about control over people's sexuality than about "common sense" or enjoying life. Control in particular over women's sexuality as it's usually (but not always) the woman's virginity who is implied when abstaining from sex before marriage. This is usually the case as the woman's virginity is the only one even remotely possible to verify (even if also this can be hard) - for a man there is no possibility to physically verify if he is indeed a "virgin" or not.
As an entirely different issue (but still relevant to this discussion). It is only in cultures where inheritance and name is related to the male side of the family that there is this focus on preserving a woman's virginity until marriage. Likely because of the "need" to ensure that the offspring born to a woman is fathered only by her legal husband - no one else. With preserving a woman's virginity until the day she is married, it is also implied that the man can rest assured that his semen has impregnated her and that the offspring is indeed his.
And for the record - I'm not advocating getting out and having sex with just anyone you see - that's not the issue. But if you are in a long term relationship, you feel comfortable with the other person, you have sexual feelings for the other person, you're exploring other sexual avenues with this person and you want to have penetrating sex with this person - why let religion/societal expectations/history/other issues dictate what you can and cannot do?
/Val
