GOOD THINGS ABOUT HUSBANDS: 1. Husbands are less expensive to shoe than horses. 2. Feeding a husband doesn't require anything that even mildly compares with the hassle of putting up hay. 3. A lame husband can still work. 4. A husband with a bellyache doesn't have to be walked. 5. Husbands don't try to scratch their heads on your back. 6. They are better able to understand puns. 7. If they are playing hard to catch, you *may* be able to run them down on foot. 8. They know their name. 9. They usually pay their own bills. 10. They apologize when they step on your toes. 11. No saddle fitting problems. 12. They seldom refuse to get into the vehicle. 13. They don't panic - running and yelling all through the house when you leave them alone (unless you've left the kids with them too!). 14. For a nominal fee, you can hire someone else to clip them. 15. They don't like the lady next door just as well as you, just because she fed him for 3 days straight. THE HORSE'S ADVANTAGE: 1. If they don't work out you can sell them. 2. They don't come complete with in-laws. 3. You don't have to worry about your children looking like them. 4. You never have to iron their saddle pads. 5. If you get too fat for one, you can shop for a bigger one. 6. They smell good when they sweat. 7. You can repair their "clothes" with duct tape. 8. It's possible to keep them from "jumping the fence". 9. You can force them to stay in good physical condition with a whip if necessary. 10. They don't want their turn at the computer. 11. They may turn white with age, but never go bald. 12. They have never heard of PMS. 13. They learn to accept restraint. 14. They don't care what you look like as long as you have a carrot or an apple.