House Party produces DICK WARS

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Beercan, Feb 25, 2007.

  1. Beercan

    Beercan Member

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    Was at a great house party last night(friday),and probably the last one before I head back to the logging camp on Sunday for another 3 week stint.
    This party was a good one, equal number of girls to guys,some great party favours and loads of booze.The kitchen was the setting for what started out as a simple rap about sex,and turned into the eternal battle of men vs women and creating a dick challenge for any guy brave enough.
    The girls were complaining that us guys still have no idea about a womans body,even after all these years of teaching us about the 'G' spot,how to give great muff dives,and giving her a REAL Orgasm etc etc.
    I personally am getting tired of this belief that us guys have no idea when it comes to a womans body,and I spoke my mind,reversing the situation by saying that a lot of women I have taken to my dumb ass bed,have no idea about a guys body.For example,I happen to be uncut, and trust me most women have no idea what its there for or what to do with it,I am sure some of you other hooded guys out there can relate to this as well.
    Also women have no idea about that amazing spot between our ball sac and butt hole,the girls at the party had no clue what I was talking about and didn't seem that interested either,never mind what the prostrate can do for a guy.
    They really are only concerned about us learning about them,as if they are more important somehow.
    Then this one chick gets on her soapbox about how ALL guys only think with their dicks, and that EVERY guy really lies about what he is packing, she claims that every guy she has had sex with has been a major let down,because none of them were over 5.5 inches but said they were a lot bigger!.
    By this point we were visibly becoming divided in the kitchen,all the dudes at one end and the girls at the other,of course none of us were sober which made the whole thing more entertaining for me.
    There were about 9 guys in the kitchen and 8 girls,the rest of the party was going on all over the house and in the basement.When this chick started ranting on about all guys lying about their cocks, and that most are under six inches,we as a group got pretty mouthy, and jumped to every mans defence,which then led the girls to give us a challenge and prove it.Things went a bit quiet after that for a couple of minutes and someone suggested smoking another dube and having some more beer,which we did hoping the girls would forget about the challenge,but they didn't and the more we protested the more they figured they were right,so began dick wars!.
    A tape measure was found and down came the gaunch,a lot more people were in the kitchen at this point after hearing about the wars,and thankfully nearly all the dudes who let themselves get measured were pretty well endowed from what I could see,the soapbox chick was chosen to measure those willing peckers, and we nicknamed her the inch girl,so she sat at the kitchen table ready for the guys to flop it out onto the table in front of her.
    There were a couple of guys who were small,one was mostly all head and no shaft,and this seemed to really please the inch girl.With so many cute girls now crowding around the kitchen it didn't take long before boners were raising their ugly heads as one girl put it.
    So with me being eighth in line the beercan had plenty of time to get angry.The inch girl seemed impressed with me and gave me a good hand exam and stretch before the measure took place,but let herself down by saying ''Oh no its got one of those foreskin things".
    All the measured cocks except for a couple came in at 7.5 or more,so the Inch girl had to eat some major humble pie after that which I really enjoyed.But still, nearly all the girls agreed that dicks are generally ugly,and that men still have no idea about the far more superior female body.UNBELIEVABLE!.
    The party went until about 3.30am and by that point I had secured my bed mate, so decided it was time to call a cab home.Once home it was straight into bed, and time for me to secure my place as the dumb human male,watching her undress revealed a much hotter body than I was expecting,and seeing a perfectly shaved pussy was even more of a surprise.
    I made sure that I gave the INCH GIRL (yes the inch girl) every inch of the beercan,for as long and deep as I could,trusting in my years of lovemaking,and experience to make sure she had,and enjoyed the ride of her life.Also insisting on a hard deep morning fuck,that would ensure her loins remember me for the rest of the day!,Oh by the way,she now knows what a foreskin is all about.
    I hope that I did the male animal proud,please let me know?.
    And I hope that maybe Women will take as much time learning about our bodies,as we have theirs.
    Beercan
    :smile:
     
  2. seandelevan

    seandelevan Member

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    cool story, wish I was there.
     
  3. prepky

    prepky New Member

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    nothing piss' me off more than male bashing.....good job beercan!!

    prep
     
  4. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Next time you and your friends need someone to do the measuring... I'll give you my number. :wink:
     
  5. 5 1/2

    5 1/2 Member

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    Well of course most of the guys that whipped it out were hung! What stupid ass would advertise to all the chicks in town that he is small. That would be a good way to NOT get laid. In school I recall times when I screwed gals who would then tell their whole crowd of girlfriends that I wasn't hung. I would go from having most of the girls flirting with me to them all turning their backs to me. :sorry:
     
  6. rope9839

    Gold Member

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    When we were in college we quite often had stupid door prizes at our parties. One time we offered a $25 JC Penney gift certificate (a couple of us worked there and stole it) for the guy with the shortest cock. As you might guess, we didn't have a line of contestants. Late in the evening this guy asked who won the contest. When we said no one, he said "Really? I guess this is the shortest one," as he pulled down his shorts and showed us a fairly large flaccid. He got the certificate by default.
     
  7. Big Bambu

    Big Bambu New Member

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    I've never heard a girl diss the dick with such precision. 5.5 inches?
     
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