How are we suppose to know when to pay for what on a date?

[TwasBrillig]

My 2cts. In general, if someone asks another person out to dinner AND suggests the restaurant - even if it's not a date - common courtesy would be for the inviter to pay at least half the bill. For a date, offer to pay and if the other person insists on paying a part or all, accept gracefully.

 

[Runco]

If a guy invites me out to dinner, I expect him to pay. If I invite him to dinner, I will pay or I will cook. If we do an impromptu drop in thing somewhere, sometimes I pay, sometimes he will pay or we will go dutch. A guy who invites me out for a meal and then stiffs me with the check will never get to go out with me again. Forget feminism that is just plain cheap. And wrong.

 

[B_Morning_Glory]

to me if a man asked me out for a date and took me to dinner then he should pay. if i ask him then i will pay. who ever does the asking should pay the tab. unless aggrangement's have been made earlier about spliting the tab.

 

[earllogjam]

On my gay dates we usually too turns who paid for dinner. Or my date would get dinner and I'd get the movies, or show or whatever.

I'm not a penny pincher or bean counter so I really don't keep track of paying but it does become a turn off when the other person starts to expect that you pay for everything you do as a couple as it's more an indication of what kind of partner they would be.

But generally as has been mentioned numerous times here - if you invite someone out you should expect to host and pay for dinner or whatever you are inviting the person to do. If you are the invitee think of someway to pay your share without splitting the bill like paying for the museum admission, invite the person for some drinks afterwards, tea or coffee at your house, some flowers. Or just get it next time around.

 

[Jovial]

I like to pay for the meal. That way she may feel obligated to have sex with me later. If I'm not attracted to her, then near the end of the meal I pretend that the food made me sick and the manager lets us leave without paying.

 

[3664shaken]

WOW

IF you ask me out and you don't get the bill, hasta la vista baby!!!!!!!!!!

PS My income is mid 6's but don't ever expect to go 50/50, it screams a$$hole all over it.

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

I like to pay for the meal. That way she may feel obligated to have sex with me later. If I'm not attracted to her, then near the end of the meal I pretend that the food made me sick and the manager lets us leave without paying.

Cheapskate! Just don't fake a heart attack... :tongue:

 

[Principessa]

I like to pay for the meal. That way she may feel obligated to have sex with me later. If I'm not attracted to her, then near the end of the meal I pretend that the food made me sick and the manager lets us leave without paying.

Hmmm, well at least now we know why you never have a 2nd date with anyone, you're too cheap!

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

No, I don't want to get it. I'm strapped for cash.

Yeah I'll get that, I know you're a little near sighted so I'll hand it to you.

Or the check arrives and you could excuse yourself to the ladies room, saying something like I need to tinkle, I'll meet you at the car.

Rude? yeah but sometimes people need a 2x4 to smack them in the face to wake them up.

Asking you out, suggesting the restaurant and then expecting you to pay is just poor form. But it could be a cheap dive and he later pays for the movie tickets etc, which would be equal out.

 

[Guy-jin]

A certain gentleman friend, will ask me out, suggest an restaurant, when the check arrives he will say, "You want to get that?" I seem to pay at least 50% of the time. Money isn't the problem. I just don't know what is expected. Enlighten me.

If he doesn't consider it a date, and instead considers it two friends going out for dinner, splitting checks seems reasonable and typical.

If he is asking you out on dates and then asking you to pay... well, that's him being cheap or an asshole or both.

If it's unclear whether you're going out on a date or not, just ask him.

And if you're friends who fuck or something... well, unless you're being a food prostitute, yeah, you're going to split checks. When I was single but had fuckbuddies a few years ago, we always payed separately. Kept it clear that we definitely weren't dating even though we were having sex all the time. :tongue:

 

[koval]

When you're asked out to a meal then you are their guest and the host must pay the bill. You're basically his meal ticket so to speak. Next time he tries the same trick on you just when you get to the restuarant ask him if he has his wallet as you left your purse at home and you'll pay your share back to him when you get home.

If he says he hasn't got enough for the place then ask him why he invited you there then in the first place? That should put him on the spot and I doubt he would try the same trick again.

 

[Ericsson1228d]

Let's turn the tables a bit...

Ladies, if a man asks you out to dinner, and through the course of the evening, you decide that the guy is not your type, at all, and have no intention of seeing him in the future or returning his calls/emails; would you insist to split the bill? Or would you enjoy your nice free dinner and let the sap pay?

For reference, I never let a lady pay, but again, usually a relationship of some sort is in at least the back of my mind.

 

[Guy-jin]

Let's turn the tables a bit...

Ladies, if a man asks you out to dinner, and through the course of the evening, you decide that the guy is not your type, at all, and have no intention of seeing him in the future or returning his calls/emails; would you insist to split the bill? Or would you enjoy your nice free dinner and let the sap pay?

For reference, I never let a lady pay, but again, usually a relationship of some sort is in at least the back of my mind.

One of the things that sends up major red flags when on a first date is if the woman offers to pay half (or, worse yet, pay the whole bill). It's probably the most obvious "not interested" signal possible short of walking out mid-dinner with a sign hanging from your neck that says, "Not Interested".

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

The person who asked should always assume they are paying the bill. then it is up to the person who got asked if they want to pay half or pay next time.

 

[Runco]

If he doesn't consider it a date, and instead considers it two friends going out for dinner, splitting checks seems reasonable and typical.

If he is asking you out on dates and then asking you to pay... well, that's him being cheap or an asshole or both.

If it's unclear whether you're going out on a date or not, just ask him.

And if you're friends who fuck or something... well, unless you're being a food prostitute, yeah, you're going to split checks. When I was single but had fuckbuddies a few years ago, we always payed separately. Kept it clear that we definitely weren't dating even though we were having sex all the time. :tongue:

Regardless of whether it's a date, if he is asking her out he should pay. Period.

 

[Runco]

Let's turn the tables a bit...

Ladies, if a man asks you out to dinner, and through the course of the evening, you decide that the guy is not your type, at all, and have no intention of seeing him in the future or returning his calls/emails; would you insist to split the bill? Or would you enjoy your nice free dinner and let the sap pay?

For reference, I never let a lady pay, but again, usually a relationship of some sort is in at least the back of my mind.

Let me turn the tables back on you. Are you saying that if a woman lets a guy pay for a meal, she is doing so in the knowledge that he will expect a little something in return? From my own point of view, if I wasn't attracted to a guy I wouldn't even bother with the dinner or if I did, I would make it clear at the outset that I would pay half. In other words, there would be no ambiguity or expectation on his part. But if a guy thinks that in being allowed to pay the bill this entitles him to a little something, honey, I set a high price on myself and one dinner ain't cutting it. Besides, I am not a hooker.

 

[B_FruitFly]

Is there an answer for questions like these?

 

[transformer_99]

A certain gentleman friend, will ask me out, suggest an restaurant, when the check arrives he will say, "You want to get that?" I seem to pay at least 50% of the time. Money isn't the problem. I just don't know what is expected. Enlighten me.

Call me old fashioned, but I get stuck with the tab every time. Not complaining though, I am the one requesting the one on one, so I figure if I set the date up, I shouldn't ask her out if I can't pay for the whole thing. Who pays for what is a touchy issue with some, then you have the discomfort of bringing it up and having to even discuss it.

The way I figure it, if the dates a total disaster, it's way better than a divorce down the road.

 

[invisibleman]

The person who asks to go on the date should pay if offer is accepted.
If both agree to go dutch, then both pay for their share.

If you are one of those chivalrous men, the man pays for the date.
If you are a feminist or a "Women Lib" man, the female pays.
If you both are selfish, you eat the meal at a fine restaurant and you split the joint before paying.

Or you could work everything out beforehand, and agree who pays for what on the date...then, you can concentrate on the date...yet keep some munny on the side in case of shortage.

 

[tiggerpoo]

I'm old fashioned - I always assumed I will pay for the meal, and have done it willingly. I have enjoyed the many dates I’ve had over the years and have received many hours of delightful fun and a lot of loving gratitude from my dates.

My present gf spends an awful lot of energy and money on clothing, shoes, hair, nails, jewelry and keeping herself in superb shape. She is always immaculately manicured and beautifully presented. She always looks absolutely stunning. I glow with pride to have her at my side. Paying for the meal is small beer. Besides, I can easily afford it.

However, she has invited me out for dinner and paid the bill on a few occasions - a gesture that I appreciated very much.

When I discovered how much time, effort and money she expends to achieve this immaculate presentation to be with me I gave her a monthly allowance so that she didn’t need a second job to cover her expenses. Subsequently, I have given her an investment portfolio, which she now manages, and which has made her financially independent. It has been the most rewarding and delightful investment I’ve ever made. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I treasure her. She’s a goddess to me. No amount of money can make up for the joy, love, happiness, thrill of life that she brings to the relationship. :smile::biggrin1: