How are you misunderstood?

tygrrr

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When I meet new people, I usually don't always say so much at first because I like to take some time to observe and listen to them first, and many interpret this as aloofness.
I'm well read, quite bright and tend to intellectualize a lot, so I often tone that down by being witty. This makes some people think I'm never serious about anything, some get annoyed and think I'm not taking them seriously, and some see it as a sign of weakness. - It's strange to me that some don't see that seriousness and humour are two sides of the same coin. -
I've always pursued my real interests instead of making the right career moves. I am also not very materialistic. This combination makes some see me as a bit helpless and even lacking in motivation, which is far from the truth. I can be very disciplined (though not constantly) and am always busy with some project or other, and I read and write a lot.
Nevertheless, I've always had good luck and gotten interesting jobs, though I move on when I've learned what I can from them. Professionally, people tend to see me as more knowledgeable than I feel I am. Perhaps this is so because I'm tall and have a deep voice and keep to busy to be very playful, so I appear more authoritative than I feel.
Those particular traits have also kept trouble away from me - like my ex bf's father jokingly said once: 'his new boyfriend is 6'6 so noone messes with him anymore!' :) (I'm really 6'2, my ex's folks are not very tall people ;)
I'm also quite spiritual minded, I meditate regularily, I don't drink much alcohol, though I still smoke. - It tends to surprise some that I'd rather stay at home reading a good book than go out for a beer or to a party. I'm a sensual kind of guy and I love to flirt, but I'm more lazy than outgoing in this area - I'm probably better off in a relationship, but I also love being single, mostly because I enjoy my freedom. I'm thoroughly urbanized and mix well with any type of crowd, but my best experiences are when I'm alone out on a hike. Nothing makes me feel more relaxed and at home as when I'm out in nature.
 

transformer_99

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I used to obsess about other's perceptions of misunderstanding, people want to put all of us in a category one way or another, I'm just as guilty though of misunderstanding others. I cope as best I can. And if I've misunderstood here, please forgive me, at best I only use 10 % of my brain (that is the statistic, right ?), I'm human.
 

Pumblechook

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stud_hunter said:
I think this is an interesting topic. How are you misunderstood? What is an impression people sometimes get of you that you don't think is the real you?
I know this isn't really a "woman's issue" but I prefer posting here because there's a more even gender balance.
I'll start. I think people sometimes think I'm colder than I really am. I try to be direct about what I want and sometimes people think I come across bitchy, but people who know me know I just think I deserve to be direct about my desires. I guess that falls into the category of direct women being thought of as a bitch. :mad:
OK. Your turn. How are you misunderstood?

I must be honest stud hunter... only for the greater of the message boards... you scare me. lol! But you really do. I am personally the kind of person who would likely totally misunderstand you, I think... althought I dont think you're some "bitch".. I think you're waaaaay too brash and tough for me.... which I say, hey, thats a natural personality thing.

Very, very, outgoing and hardcore "out-there" brash people I have personally never liked in my life.

All the other stages of gals,.. from super energetic to a certain extent to very secleded and scaring my friends cuz so quiet (literally... lol) I have liked... so as far as I go, I guess the extreme power of being too headstrong do I not like,,, other than that I definately flow with naturally
 

stud_hunter

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LOL. Oh, I have my moments but I don't think I'm quite as "brash" and "tough" as you seem to think. For sure I've gotten a lot more outgoing and confident since I became single. But you say you've never meshed well with very outgoing people so that probably explains your feelings.

Pumblechook said:
I must be honest stud hunter... only for the greater of the message boards... you scare me. lol! But you really do. I am personally the kind of person who would likely totally misunderstand you, I think... althought I dont think you're some "bitch".. I think you're waaaaay too brash and tough for me.... which I say, hey, thats a natural personality thing.

Very, very, outgoing and hardcore "out-there" brash people I have personally never liked in my life.

All the other stages of gals,.. from super energetic to a certain extent to very secleded and scaring my friends cuz so quiet (literally... lol) I have liked... so as far as I go, I guess the extreme power of being too headstrong do I not like,,, other than that I definately flow with naturally
 

Lordpendragon

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Shelby said:
People sometimes mistake me for an asshole.

oh, wait...


Please, my secularist, infidel, arrogant imperialist capitalist friend, if people would just take the time, they would realize that you are a total asshole. :eek: Don't do yourself down :smile:

I hope people don't misunderstand my British sense of humour.

Strangely on this site a few people think that I am older than I am.
 

Pumblechook

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stud_hunter said:
LOL. Oh, I have my moments but I don't think I'm quite as "brash" and "tough" as you seem to think. For sure I've gotten a lot more outgoing and confident since I became single. But you say you've never meshed well with very outgoing people so that probably explains your feelings.

It's not outgoing that is the problem for me, because I work with people like that just fine... its the "in you face" kind of effect that gets me.
 

stud_hunter

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Pumblechook said:
It's not outgoing that is the problem for me, because I work with people like that just fine... its the "in you face" kind of effect that gets me.

I'd like to think I'm more subtle than that:wink:
 

Pumblechook

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stud_hunter said:
I'd like to think I'm more subtle than that:wink:

I hope so too :)

Which in the very essence of this thread, I will not be the last person to misunderstand you, but I will be the first to say, I'm sorry.
 

stud_hunter

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Pumblechook said:
I hope so too :)

Which in the very essence of this thread, I will not be the last person to misunderstand you, but I will be the first to say, I'm sorry.

Oh, you didn't say anything that needed an apology :wink: . I've been thinking about this issue of directness and "in your faceness" and truly I don't think I'm "in your face" at all. I'm just at a stage where I just don't see the point of trying to pretend or play politics with a lot of stuff. So for instance with a sexual partner I'm really honest and direct, but not in an abrasive way or anything. I'm not trying to yell and scream or put anybody down. Just trying to be honest about what I want and what does it for me, and I'd expect the same from him. If we're not on the same page, it's always best to know so when can get on the same page or go our separate ways.
Some people compliment me for "knowing what I want." I definitely am way more self aware now than ever before and that probably helps in being honest. But really I don't think I'm aggressive or anything like that, at least in a bad way:biggrin1: .