emma_anal_slut: Well, I can only speak for myself, but I find being buggered by a man with a large penis much more exciting than one with a smaller one. Notice I say "exciting". In other words, it's not only about physical sensation, it's psychological. In fact I think most women who relish sodomy do so for psycho-sexual kicks -- it makes them feel sexy, exotic, wanton or whatever.
I have always been kind of "anal erotic" and I had been anally screwed by, say, half a dozen "average" (5-7") cocks before I met my current boyfriend. You might find this difficult to understand, but it was both painful and enjoyable. I can't explain it, but "hurts so good" would be an appropriate expression.
My current boyfriend is about 9 inches and very fat (his cock that is!
. I decided there was just no way I would ever be able to take that monster up my pooper. However, when he finally buggered me it was magical. He penetrated my rectum more than an hour and a half into sex, and my that time I was so relaxed, turned on, well-lubricated, well-rimmed and well-fingered that he just sort of slid effortlessly up into my bottom. It wasn't in the slightest bit painful. In fact my most painful anal session came from an old boyfriend who was tiny but just sort of jabbed away at my asshole with no thought for me.
My advice is, if anal is painful, you don't need a different sized cock, you need a different (more understanding and sexually expert) lover.