How Can I be a Better Lover?

crossy

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Research has shown if you have lotsa money you don't have to be such an expert lover.
 

jeff black

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Listen to what the man/woman says and does. Their reactions tend to mean they like what you are doing.

If they moan or groan as you are doing a certain thing (licking a nipple for example), I suggest you keep doing it.
 

MickeyLee

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are you looking for sex tips? i could tell you how to get me off, but what i like might not work on anyone else.

go to the library get anatomy books, get books on sexual response in humans. books on the nervous system are good too. read and memorize. if you know the parts, function and reaction ya are a head of the game.

after that do what everyone else suggested. pay attention, don't be in the act just to nut, start gentle if you get a good reaction apply more pressure stimulation.

if you step out of all the sweaty and feel good sex is a pretty basic act. you just have to find tune ya approach to the individual.

key points:
kiss before you lick. lick before you suck. nibble is good. pinch or bite with care.
breasts are not stress balls. be nice.
its a clit not a scroll bar.
dry is bad.
wet = getting warm... warmer... hot.... you are right on top of it.
if she is moaning, grinding, enthusiastic.. don't stop what you are doing.
rhythm is the key to success and happiness.
women are full contact kinda creatures. yes the pink parts are the high points but ramble around, play with everything.
don't be afraid to ask how she likes it. just don't sound like a bad porn. or a good porn.
avoid reenacting porn at all cost.

ML
 

earllogjam

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Personally I think great lovers are born - there are just people who are intuitively good at sex and lovemaking. I'm not sure how you cultivate sensuality. It's like trying to teach someone to appreciate music. It's like trying to make chemistry between 2 people when none exists.
 

RamIt

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Dont lick like a happy st bernard, keep your tongue on the clit, but move the clit with your tongue, and your tongue on the clit.
 

transformer_99

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An admirable endeavor/pursuit, be careful though, you may lose your mind and sanity before you realize that by trying to be all things to every woman is impossible. But better each time ? That's a team effort.
 
D

deleted356736

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I'm inclined to think that truly great lovers ARE born, they have a combination of personality traits that lead to a greater level of spiritual, emotional and sexual connection with their partners. For sex to work truly brilliantly, it has to be more than technique or practice, it has to be complete connection between two people on many levels. Add to that adventure and curiosity, and it becomes more obvious that personality is the most important facet.

I have had many lovers, too many perhaps, and over time I came to the belief that it is personality that makes the good lover.
 

Cuckl_i

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Someone born to be a good lover, and they will be the best, but in a long relationship you can learn lot, what your partners really like... how to touch and where...and when. And a good lover have to learn in a long partnership too because it can be boring to do the same way, even if it is very good.

Pay attention for your partner a lot, speak about sincerely what/where/when/how did she/he like. And tell each other your real fantasies. and someday it will come true maybe..:) be open minded and enterprise.

But it works when basically the sex is good between too people.
If not too enjoyable it could be better when you learn but not satisfy at all.... look for another partner to match with, or let him/her fuyk with others....:) it could be enjoyable in a strong relationship.

We experienced like this...
 
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Jovial

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You say you are 50% straight/50% gay, but since you are posting in the Women's Issues section, I'll assume you want to know how to be a great lover of women. What works for women is probably different for men, at least in some ways, but some things apply to both sexes.

I would say read advice articles about how to make love to women. Just google for this stuff. It's out there. Learn the erogenous zones: lips, neck, breast, stomach, thighs, back, etc. Read articles about how to kiss her lips and neck. Then how to move to her breasts. There is lots of stuff written about breast play. Then read about how to give great oral sex. I think these 3 things are like sex 101: kissing the lips and neck, touching/kissing/sucking the breasts and cunnilingus. You can do all of this before even thinking about intercourse.

The next thing is you should NOT watch straight porn. But you should watch lesbian porn. But you have to watch the longer, slower videos where they take their time to kiss and very slowly remove clothes. They take their time touching, kissing and sucking the breasts. I think more guys try to go too fast than too slow. So try to get used to going slowly. The lesbian videos are better at showing the women's facial reactions to the way they are touched, especially when they are getting their breasts touched or their pussies licked.
 

Maleablestud

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are you looking for sex tips? i could tell you how to get me off, but what i like might not work on anyone else.

go to the library get anatomy books, get books on sexual response in humans. books on the nervous system are good too. read and memorize. if you know the parts, function and reaction ya are a head of the game.

after that do what everyone else suggested. pay attention, don't be in the act just to nut, start gentle if you get a good reaction apply more pressure stimulation.

if you step out of all the sweaty and feel good sex is a pretty basic act. you just have to find tune ya approach to the individual.

key points:
kiss before you lick. lick before you suck. nibble is good. pinch or bite with care.
breasts are not stress balls. be nice.
its a clit not a scroll bar.
dry is bad.
wet = getting warm... warmer... hot.... you are right on top of it.
if she is moaning, grinding, enthusiastic.. don't stop what you are doing.
rhythm is the key to success and happiness.
women are full contact kinda creatures. yes the pink parts are the high points but ramble around, play with everything.
don't be afraid to ask how she likes it. just don't sound like a bad porn. or a good porn.
avoid reenacting porn at all cost.

ML


Thank you! that is all actually really good-sounding advice, particularly the progression of kiss/lick/suck etc... I appreciate that you are taking me so seriously.
 

Maleablestud

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Personally I think great lovers are born - there are just people who are intuitively good at sex and lovemaking. I'm not sure how you cultivate sensuality. It's like trying to teach someone to appreciate music. It's like trying to make chemistry between 2 people when none exists.

I worry about this. A lot. I suppose being the kind of person tha worries about this a lot is likely what makes me a lousy lover.

But I have to keep hope alive that I can improve myself, or what's even the point?
 

Maleablestud

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You say you are 50% straight/50% gay, but since you are posting in the Women's Issues section, I'll assume you want to know how to be a great lover of women. What works for women is probably different for men, at least in some ways, but some things apply to both sexes.

I would say read advice articles about how to make love to women. Just google for this stuff. It's out there. Learn the erogenous zones: lips, neck, breast, stomach, thighs, back, etc. Read articles about how to kiss her lips and neck. Then how to move to her breasts. There is lots of stuff written about breast play. Then read about how to give great oral sex. I think these 3 things are like sex 101: kissing the lips and neck, touching/kissing/sucking the breasts and cunnilingus. You can do all of this before even thinking about intercourse.

The next thing is you should NOT watch straight porn. But you should watch lesbian porn. But you have to watch the longer, slower videos where they take their time to kiss and very slowly remove clothes. They take their time touching, kissing and sucking the breasts. I think more guys try to go too fast than too slow. So try to get used to going slowly. The lesbian videos are better at showing the women's facial reactions to the way they are touched, especially when they are getting their breasts touched or their pussies licked.

Hm. Well that's certainly an original angle. I will definiately give it a try.

Thank you!

Oh and yeah, guys are easy to please...no need for info there...
 

Snakebyte

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Every woman is different. Things the one might like another one won't be into. Gotta be responsive to the signs the women give you. That's the trick.
 

feel thick

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--money will go a long way, good taste and cultivation farther (don't impress her with your sports bar savvy)
--regardless of what they say, almost all women are excited by a big thick good looking cock, but try to last a long time with it
--don't force her to suck you; she will, and will like it, just give her time
--spend a lot of time with her pussy; delicate licks and nibbles and talk the best
--gently guide her to the joys of your Bigness; give her several positions to feel the size and thrust
--don't marry her; don't get her pregnant
 

Maleablestud

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--money will go a long way, good taste and cultivation farther (don't impress her with your sports bar savvy)
--regardless of what they say, almost all women are excited by a big thick good looking cock, but try to last a long time with it
--don't force her to suck you; she will, and will like it, just give her time
--spend a lot of time with her pussy; delicate licks and nibbles and talk the best
--gently guide her to the joys of your Bigness; give her several positions to feel the size and thrust
--don't marry her; don't get her pregnant

That could be a problem...I'm engaged.