How Can I be a Better Lover?

[Maleablestud]

The secret is: masturbation
kain't no on do it, like i can!

Believe me, I have THAT covered....

 

[vince]

I worry about this. A lot. I suppose being the kind of person tha worries about this a lot is likely what makes me a lousy lover.

But I have to keep hope alive that I can improve myself, or what's even the point?

I think you have a good attitude. Just being willing to ask the question, "How can I be a better lover?", tells me you will reach your goal. There is good advice in the posts above, follow it and you'll be fine. I'll just say that you should be curious and pay attention to what works, and talk to your lover about sex. Keep the communication happening but don't be a pest about it. The worst thing a guy can say is, "was it good for you?", all the time.

Maybe some people are born to be good lovers, I don't know. But everyone can improve if they want to.

 

[Maleablestud]

I think you have a good attitude. Just being willing to ask the question, "How can I be a better lover?", tells me you will reach your goal. There is good advice in the posts above, follow it and you'll be fine. I'll just say that you should be curious and pay attention to what works, and talk to your lover about sex. Keep the communication happening but don't be a pest about it. The worst thing a guy can say is, "was it good for you?", all the time.

Maybe some people are born to be good lovers, I don't know. But everyone can improve if they want to.

Yet another one on the list of things I learned too late... I asked every partner "Was it good for you" right up to theo ne that I'm planning to spend the rest of my life with...kinda blew my chance not to use it, ya know? And I only figured out a couple years ago why it was such a huge turn-off.

 

[Not_Punny]

Mmmmmmm....

Yes and no to all the above.

1. Some of us like it urgent and dirty every once in a while.
2. Variety is the spice of ALL life.
3. Don't always ask -- try different things and pay attention to the response you get. Some of us like a take-charge kind of experience -- we don't want to be the "Director" of our personal sex movie every night.

 

[Maleablestud]

Mmmmmmm....

Yes and no to all the above.

1. Some of us like it urgent and dirty every once in a while.
2. Variety is the spice of ALL life.
3. Don't always ask -- try different things and pay attention to the response you get. Some of us like a take-charge kind of experience -- we don't want to be the "Director" of our personal sex movie every night.

Thank you very much, it's good to get a varied perspective on this as I can. My love is tight lipped when it comes to her desires.

 

[Not_Punny]

Thank you very much, it's good to get a varied perspective on this as I can. My love is tight lipped when it comes to her desires.

You're welcome.

Most of the time (but not all of the time), I hate telling the guy what to do, although I will DEFINITELY encourage him when I don't want him to stop!

When I'm being more "dom", I am doing things TO him. That's fun. But outside of that, I just can't get into telling a guy what to do!

 

[Maleablestud]

Happy to report I've been putting some of this stuff into practice already, with decent results. Thanks to everyone who took the time to address this post, more would not be turned away!