How can I make it work

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by newgirl28, Jan 16, 2012.

  1. newgirl28

    newgirl28 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I need some advice. I recently attempted to have sex with my new boyfriend. He's six inches in girth (I know that's small compared to some of the guys here). I say attempted because he couldn't get it in despite both of us pushing. It went in for a second with doggie style, but it hurt so bad I couldn't stand the thrusting. I'd only had sex twice before with someone average sized, but I used dildos plenty of times so I hadn't been expecting any problems... Especially not it not even going in, despite using tons of lube on the second attempt.

    I keep thinking if I could have just kept it in there despite the pain (he lost his erection anyways when he saw it hurt me) it might get better. Can anyone link me up with an online store I can buy a 6in girth dildo? The length doesn't really matter. They mostly seem listed by length instead of width...

    Any other techniques would be apprettiated. I hope I can get it to work and I'm just not freakishly narrow or something...
     
  2. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2007
    Messages:
    9,735
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Southern US
    #2 B_Mademoiselle Rouge, Jan 17, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2012
  3. D_Dick_S_Lapp

    D_Dick_S_Lapp Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    961
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm pretty sure this isn't the right way to go about this but yeah. I read the other posts. This isn't about virgins btw. Does cunnilingus help though? Making a woman cum from that first then working it in.

    I've had a few strange sexual experiences where i usually do that first as a rule. But after a while they just wanted to go straight at it. Which confused the hell out of me. Anyway, does that really help though?
     
  4. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2007
    Messages:
    9,735
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Southern US
    Huh? None of the information I gave to help others in this situation was contingent on being a virgin. Eating pussy doesn't help necessarily, especially making her orgasm first. I prefer to cum after sexual penetration is over because I tighten up my muscles so tight to built up muscle tension in order to orgasm that I get too tight for comfortable penetration of a larger penis. Some women think it works in the opposite way.

    Did you read my responses at all? I'm confused.
     
  5. D_Dick_S_Lapp

    D_Dick_S_Lapp Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    961
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm sorry i skimmed through them pretty fast. My curiosity got the best of me.
     
  6. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    Oral is highly overrated. It's not some magical spell that will magically make a woman large enough to take a cock that's too big for her. And some of us just don't like it.

    Having said that, it can be helpful for SOME women.

    To the OP: I don't have any personal experience with the sort of thing you're talking about, but petite has written some AMAZING posts on this topic. Have a look at her post history. You're more likely to find something helpful amongst her earlier posts.
     
  7. D_Dick_S_Lapp

    D_Dick_S_Lapp Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    961
    Likes Received:
    0
    Not to sound like a bag o douche (is probably gonna happen anyway) but if SOME women find it can be helpful, doesn't that mean it isn't overrated? Also i asked a women because i didn't know. i never said it was magical but thanks for that.

    Seriously, though was all that really necessary?
     
  8. Fade

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2010
    Messages:
    3,811
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    4,452
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    United States
    Verified:
    Photo
    To the OP:

    I would suggest that trying to gradually work up to toys that are similar in girth is likely to help. When I was regularly sleeping with a guy who was above average, after a while my body adjusted some to fit him. HOWEVER your mileage may vary. I know this doesn't happen for all women. Cumming before he tries to penetrate you could help, but again, it doesn't for all women. Unfortunately our bodies are all too damn different to be able to definitely say "Do this and it will help".

    I will mention that oral doesn't do a whole lot for me as an aside :tongue:
     
  9. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    26
  10. lamplight

    lamplight Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2004
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    I recently had a girlfriend who had problems with tensing up when we tried to have sex, and I've had similar experiences with other girls. You've just tried the one time? I think it's important to take the pressure off and give yourselves a few more tries before starting to worry. It might just be a question of getting used to each other. It might be more than a psychological problem, but it's way to early to call it.

    If at first you don't succeed... ;)
     
  11. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,730
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    That twinge in your intestines
    The best part of waking up is Folger's in your cup.
     
  12. newgirl28

    newgirl28 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I hope I don't have vagismus...

    We tried twice and he still couldn't get it in. Oral is pointless I never cum that way. He's put some mighty efforts up before and I usually just stop him after awhile because I can tell his neck is cramping up and I'm cold.

    Orgasms are usually just tiny little jolts anyways and then they're gone. I used to be able to have great ones when I was in my early teens by myself, but the last ten years or so they just don't work that well anymore.

    I thought I almost this weekend with hand stimulation, but I was stuck hovering over the edge for like an hour and it woudln't freakin go over and eventualy I stopped him because the pressure was so much it was hurting and I was exhausted.

    I think I made the poor man think he was a freak and inadequate when I know that it's me (I tried to convince him but he woudln't believe me).

    Would kegels help? I can't seem to find a 6in girth dildo. They always seem listed by length...
     
  13. BonnieBlaine

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2011
    Messages:
    48
    Albums:
    9
    Likes Received:
    277
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Indiana
    Verified:
    Photo
    I would say try different positions, relax. Have him stimulate you by hand, by using his hand (fingers) he can get you used to larger, (slowly adding an additional finger ect......) without a toy. I learned that from a doc...... Has helped me alot in life.... Good luck.
     
  14. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Female
    Regarding orgasms, antidepressants have been known to suppress the ability to orgasm, as well as other medications.
     
  15. molotovmuffin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    7,485
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    She meant for her and for lots of women, oral is over rated. Yes it was necessary because you threw it out there like it was magic cure. Do you really think you know more about it than a woman? Please.

    And you really should have read what was posted by MR before replying to it. That's the kind of stuff that drives women crazy.
     
  16. Unnamed

    Unnamed Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    443
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    ditch the guy and go smaller. a shallow move, but your vagina will thank you later.
     
  17. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    Find a cone-shaped toy. Use it to masturbate and you will gradually learn to relax around it. Also, it does help very much to have your orgasm first.

    Get to know exactly what you like and how best to achieve your own orgasm so that you can communicate this knowledge to your partner.

    To encourage intimacy I personally enjoy blowing and jerking a man into coming all over me.

    Remember, the vagina is highly elastic and babies go through there. The necessary flexibility will eventually arrive. But in the mean time, certainly there are other enjoyable things for you two to do together besides tab A and slot B.
     
  18. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2007
    Messages:
    9,735
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Southern US
    I started to have the same issues with sensitivity with oral sex (lack thereof) and difficulty having an orgasm after trying for ages (when it used to happen much easier) and they weren't nearly as WOW as they used to be a few years ago. I got my blood pressure checked out and come to find out it was suddenly high when it used to be normal my whole life. I had an accident where it caused my blood pressure to spike and never go back down. Once I got on blood pressure medications it was like I had my old clitoris back and more!

    I wouldn't recommend kegels as it will just make everything tighter. That has been the case with me. The only time I do them is when I'm trying to orgasm, otherwise they are for the birds with my body build. You can find the girth listed on many online sex toy websites.

    Can any other ladies who buy toys online help this lady out with some places to look online? Faydreh would know for sure. Hope this helps!
     
  19. D_Dick_S_Lapp

    D_Dick_S_Lapp Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    961
    Likes Received:
    0
    I understand that i really should have thoroughly read the posts given. That i do admit to. And for that i did apologize. And for the record that was way before any magical comments were made. So i was polite and took responsibility for my own ignorance.

    What you and others really need to understand is this. If someone does not know something. And wants to...you know....know something, the only real way is to ask.

    That whole "there are no stupids questions" thing is to get people to ask. If you sarcastically jump down a persons throat for not knowing something then a make a comment about it like its the most known thing in the universe. Show's your ignorant side.

    Think about it for a second. Do i have a vagina? How would i even begin to know that cunnilingus doesn't help. Obviously i haven't already been told or there was some confusion. I was looking for answers, not a way to be a sexual king or anything like that. I understand women here get that a lot, just saying that i wasn't one of them.

    And as far as driving anyone crazy. Well ignorance of the female body drives women crazy too right?

    Once more, i apologized for my ignorance before either of you said anything. Other women avoided jumping on the magic bullet comment. Why haven't you.

    Like i asked before. Why was that even necessary?
     
  20. molotovmuffin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    7,485
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Because sometimes we like to make you guys apologize multiple times.:wink:

    To be honest, I took it as a statement as opposed to a question and I jumped the gun on my response. Didn't see what came after that post so for my part of it I'm sorry as well.

    You have to understand that in this particular forum women ask other women questions, which is what the OP did and then the males start answering, which is what you did. Just to clear on why all that had to take place in the first place. You're not the first and you won't be the last. :tongue:

    ANY TIME NOW ROB! :wink:
     
Draft saved Draft deleted