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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by alisuesue, Mar 5, 2006.
i can i explain to my partner that i want to spice up sex without him getting offended.
Perhaps don't say anything, just do it! Next time you're getting it on, try something new and see if he goes for it... In what way do you want to spice things up? If there's a genuine problem I think its always best to be open and honest with your partner, but if you're just feeling a bit saucy and have something in mind to try out, why not just do it?
Just try something new in bed, I'm assuming you have sex in different positions? say you want it in a new one. If you fancy outdoor sex, one day when your out kiss him passionately and say you want him right there. I think that spicing up a sex life isn't hard, most of the time it's the person who wants it spiced up actually afraid to ask for fear of a rejection, so i say go for it girl and shag his brains out the lucky bugger.
I would ask him if he has any fantasies...hopefully he'll ask you in return. )
Guys are exactly like women, we have the weirdest most sexy thoughts like you do....most the time we are just too scared to bring it up....so if you do, all the better, then he will pry be more comfy with it, and all for it. Catch him in a "good" mood, it will pay off.
Well, from experience, I'd say a likely scenario is that she wants to try something new and says so. He doesn't do it - at least not right away - but isn't particularly offended. So she starts to sulk or whine because he didn't do it. Then he gets offended. Or he gets annoyed - which, long-term, is probably worse.
So, my advice - suggest but don't sulk or whine when it doesn't happen. Wait 'til next time and suggest again.
I'm assuming this was a question about hetero male behavior. Hard to tell nowadays without a score sheet.
Everybody's right and I'll add my vote to the pile: men are whores in their minds. You'd be shocked at the amount of lasciviousness that goes through our minds in a given day.
Yeah. I think being honest and open and upfront is best. It is about YOU and what YOU have been thinking about and desiring. Secure people will resist the urge to make it about THEM. I appreciate it when my partners tell me something new that they want to try--it shows theta they trust me enough to lay it all out there. And, as Sorceror said, I usually have considered it already.
It can be very intimidating to bring these matters up, and I think that the trust you gain by pushing through these difficult and (at first) uncomfortable subjects is priceless.
Offended? He'll be DELIGHTED.