How can I tell?

[jorpollew]

Don't try to set anything up. I think if the two of you just enjo each other's company, then eventually something will click and happen.

I think you get more information from just talking, listening and picking up clues. Do you guys spend many hours hanging out together? Is it easy to find excuses to be together? What personal things do you talk about when you're together?

Forget trying to find a movie. Hey, just watch TV. A couple of hours of channel-surfing can really initiate some new topics to discuss. While watching sports, comment on an athlete's physical stats, or make a joke about some beef/cheese-cake bodies you'll see on a reality show. You can really pick up a lot when you listen to someone who's just relaxed and talking freely.

Also, touching is important. Shoving, pushing, punching, bear hugs, slaps on the back-- they're all forms of how guys safely touch each other. While you're watching tv, a movie or doing playstation, pay attention to ANY touching contact. And any kind of horseplay or light wrestling is always a good way to get a few cheap grabs.

My advice: just observe, listen and pick up the clues.

 

[jorpollew]

Speaking of guy-touching...

I recall back in college, I had a guy-crush on someone that I wasn't sure about. For several days we hung out, and while we were eating at a diner, I stretched my legs under the table. My legs hit his legs, and he shifted a little bit, but we were still touching each other at around the shin/calf area. I didn't move and neither did he. A few minutes later I started knocking against his legs and he did the same. And we kept on eating and talking while all this under-table touching was going on. It turned out to be hot foreplay, b/c when we got back to his dorm room I sucked his dick. He told me that it was his first time doing something with a guy (eh..maybe?).

But we had 6-7 more encounters where I'd give him a bj. He always acted coy and indifferent about it. I'd stop by his dorm room. He would find an excuse to change into his shorts, and then sit on the bed or a chair with his legs wide open and his dick slightly exposed. That was my cue to go over and blow him. Most of the time he would pretend to be reading a book or doing his homework-- one time he answered the phone! His orgasms were real. He would clench my shoulders really hard, throw back his head and scream, "Aw shit, man!", "WTF?", or "Why'd you make me do this, hunh?"
You ever see a "str8" guy NOT wanting to enjoy a bj?!!

After a few weeks, I got bored with the whole scene, esp. since he never returned the favor. I guess doing that would have been "too gay".

 

[jnp]

I forgot the best part. If he tells you he thinks having a gay friend would be cool too. Then right then and there, go up to him and kiss him. No hestitation on your part, just do it. Since you said he hasn't had any girlfriends he seems to be shy. To get you both over the hurdle, take things into your own hands, and just kiss him. Look him straight in the eyes, and just lay one on him. Not a quick kiss either, but a nice one. One that he will remember.

I wish everyone did that....I would have been layed many more times than I have been lol. I have a problem with shyness concerning sexual stuff, to an extent...this attitude would have helpe dme out alot lol.

 

[Garth33]

it IS the ultimate ackward situation...take a chance or risk getting kicked to the curb. Good luck bud!

 

[harle178]

If he's your friend, then you should tell him you're gay. If he's interested, or if he outs himself as well, then try pursuing something further. But if he insists on his heterosexuality, then, as his friend, you should respect that, whether he's in the closet or not. Don't take things too far too quickly, or you may end up losing a friend. I'm speaking from experience here, unfortunately.

...or if you just want play, get him drunk. You'll either get dicked or punched that way. Or both. If you're into that.

 

[Garth33]

If he's your friend, then you should tell him you're gay. If he's interested, or if he outs himself as well, then try pursuing something further. But if he insists on his heterosexuality, then, as his friend, you should respect that, whether he's in the closet or not. Don't take things too far too quickly, or you may end up losing a friend. I'm speaking from experience here, unfortunately.

...or if you just want play, get him drunk. You'll either get dicked or punched that way. Or both. If you're into that.

it sucks the "solution" for a lot of gay guys suggesting "interest" is either getting the target drunk then dealing with the consequences or forever wondering if it would have worked out....but it's just the world we live in but it IS changing I think...

 

[Garth33]

..or I hope!...

 

[harle178]

it sucks the "solution" for a lot of gay guys suggesting "interest" is either getting the target drunk then dealing with the consequences or forever wondering if it would have worked out....but it's just the world we live in but it IS changing I think...

Not as quickly as many a horny, gay male teen would like, unfortunately. I mean, you could open a whole Pandora's box of ideas with this situation, regarding sexual identity and the obsession with labels, especially among gay men. But I think in the context of this situation, sensitive as it is, if you're not respecting someone's boundaries while they respect yours, then one of you needs to get slapped upside the head.