B_Stronzo
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My best advice is to simply not buy anyone else's view of you. Confidence is something innate to me. I never thought I needed to conform to a designated norm so it was easy when people didn't "get me" early-on to dismiss them for the morons they were.
When it was obvious I sucked at sports and I was maligned by my contemporaries for it I just dismissed sports (and them). I remember my brother once saying "but don't you want those guys to like you?" It was the weirdest question. I didn't like them to begin with and had only given the whole thing a shot because it seemed so dreadfully important to everyone.
My mum's standard comment about me to her friends is: "You either like him or despise him but with Richard there's no question where he stands on things". From that source it's high praise too. My mother and I are very much alike... and she's just naturally confident.
One thing is certain for me though. Growing up and going through school whenever I saw someone being victimized I'd rally behind the victimized individual at any cost. It made me immensely unpopular in elementary school and into junior high. Only when I started to look a certain way was I considered "acceptable". For a time I bought that horseshit too. Got me laid alot but it was bullshit.
In a society where how someone looks is so very crucial to how one is received I suspect many are up against some pretty tough odds. But fuck, I like a hot guy as much as anyone... so who am I to say?? But one thing is certain: The old adage "treat others as you'd have them treat you" is a terrific rule of thumb.
I'm off the topic somewhat but I think that you really cannot build individual confidence until all the taught social preconceptions and issues surrounding upbringing are brought to terms and banished from the psyche.
Is that possible? I don't have a clue.
When it was obvious I sucked at sports and I was maligned by my contemporaries for it I just dismissed sports (and them). I remember my brother once saying "but don't you want those guys to like you?" It was the weirdest question. I didn't like them to begin with and had only given the whole thing a shot because it seemed so dreadfully important to everyone.
My mum's standard comment about me to her friends is: "You either like him or despise him but with Richard there's no question where he stands on things". From that source it's high praise too. My mother and I are very much alike... and she's just naturally confident.
One thing is certain for me though. Growing up and going through school whenever I saw someone being victimized I'd rally behind the victimized individual at any cost. It made me immensely unpopular in elementary school and into junior high. Only when I started to look a certain way was I considered "acceptable". For a time I bought that horseshit too. Got me laid alot but it was bullshit.
In a society where how someone looks is so very crucial to how one is received I suspect many are up against some pretty tough odds. But fuck, I like a hot guy as much as anyone... so who am I to say?? But one thing is certain: The old adage "treat others as you'd have them treat you" is a terrific rule of thumb.
I'm off the topic somewhat but I think that you really cannot build individual confidence until all the taught social preconceptions and issues surrounding upbringing are brought to terms and banished from the psyche.
Is that possible? I don't have a clue.