How can you tell and what to do?

[Hangman1]

I use the train to get around and sometimes I see guys that might be gay, but it's hard to tell. All I know is, they are hot. How can i get more info of if their gay without asking them? and if they are gay, how should I go about showing I'm interested?

 

[sinbad1]

Most gaymen have what is known as a gaydar sense, we can look at another man and pick up a vibe which says - he is a brother. It is very strong in some people and not so strong in others and sometimes it is completely incorrect.

Unless you are in a gay environment, the chances of learning if someone who has caught your eye is gay, will be very difficult without asking them. Tell tale signs to help you assess their status can be clothing, body image, the way they sneak peaks at other men, the way they stand/sit/walk. To show interest, simply try to make eye contact, if you get caught and they smile, get up and go talk to them (not necessarily asking are you gay) ...if they turn away and ignore your passing glances - give up, they are either not gay or not interested in you.

 

[D_Geffarde Phartsmeller]

Just look for the stereotypical signs. Because as we all know, stereotypes are NEVER wrong.

 

[petite]

I also have broken gaydar! I can't tell either! My gaydar keeps getting false positives. Several times I've thought a man was gay, only to be shocked when he's hit on me. Lots of people know I've dated several openly bisexual men, so maybe I keep getting false positives on bi men, but I've lost faith in my ability to tell.

How do you fix a broken gaydar?

 

[Bbucko]

Practically the only time men (straight or gay) look anyone directly in the eye is when they're looking for a confrontation or sex.

 

[slurper_la]

if he's carrying a bible, he's gay! :tongue:

there is no absolute way to tell. in public most people never realize I'm gay. Hell people I work with still refuse to accept that I am, especially most of the women. If a guy is handsome and you find him attractive tell him so. What's the big deal? I've done it but being a photographer and creative director I use "professional" reasons for calling out someone's beauty if the situation proves uncomfortable.

 

[MickeyLee]

if i find him attractive, he is probably gay. true facts. there have been several articles in leading scientific type journals.

 

[FRE]

I can't tell just by looking. However, if it is someone with whom I'm in regular contact, I can usually tell just by the subjects of conversation. A gay man will typically avoid subjects that others will discuss. Often answers are vague; they tend to avoid mentioning the gender of people with whom the associate.

Once I was at the public library in San Diego doing a bit of research on property law. A woman and I started conversing. I guessed from the conversation that she was probably a lesbian, so I directed the conversation in such a way that she might guess that I was gay. I ended up meeting her life partner and we all had dinner together.

There are ways to tell, but generally not instantly.

 

[B_jeepguy2]

If he has a rainbow sticker or one of those HRC stickers on his car it is a safe bet he is gay...but if you are on the train it is gonna be hard to tell.

 

[marriedasian]

it's almost impossible to get a 100% read unless they're carrying themselves as "gay" and being openly advertising. other than that it's up in the air.

i have a few gay friends who hang out with me from time to time and they act very normal with no hint of being gay at all. if you met them for the first time you would not even suspect it. the funny thing is that it is their normal behavior. they're not trying to not act gay, it's just who they are.

 

[FRE]

it's almost impossible to get a 100% read unless they're carrying themselves as "gay" and being openly advertising. other than that it's up in the air.

i have a few gay friends who hang out with me from time to time and they act very normal with no hint of being gay at all. if you met them for the first time you would not even suspect it. the funny thing is that it is their normal behavior. they're not trying to not act gay, it's just who they are.

That usually the case, but there are sometimes exceptions.

I once went on a camping trip to Catalina Island with Great Outdoors, a gay group of hikers and campers in California. Most of the guys in the trip were from Los Angeles and I didn't know them. But by the way they acted, they really embarrassed me. Another time the same thing happened on a whale watching boat. Both times I tried to pretend that I didn't know them. I'm not really closeted, but on the other hand, I don't act strangely and most of the gay men I know don't either.

 

[posting4745]

i have a few gay friends who hang out with me from time to time and they act very normal with no hint of being gay at all.

Wow...for a moment I thought you meant gay people weren't normal.....